Am miserably sick. Fever. Muscle aches. Shaking chills. Sweating. Sore throat. Ear aches…

At least I know why I’ve been getting headaches all week.

And the worst is? I have to be to work early tomorrow–and medical students really don’t get sick days.

*crawls into bed*

Maybe it was the National Geographic on the coffee table about the solar system. Or pretty pictures like this from the Hubble spacecraft that make my mouth gape in wonder. Or the fact that I’ve rediscovered my love for ST:Voyager and it’s making me nostalgic (how much nostalgia can one of 26 really have before it become pathological?) and I’m exposing that geeky side…

But I really really want a telescope. Not a big fancy one (yet), but one that if I squinted, I could pretend that I was seeing the rings around Saturn.

I don’t suppose any of my illustrious friends out there know anything about telescopes? *wistful* Yeah, it’s a long shot.

****

Started a new rotation today. Psychiatry. I’m still a little too disturbed to start sharing the funny stories. When my attending starting telling me about our patients–the one that they had to so heavily sedate because he attacks everybody, or the one who wouldn’t eat anything because she was convinced that we were feeding her our children, or the one, in for a suicidal attempt and talks about how she watched her mother raped and murdered in front of her eyes and then was raped by her uncle at 6… Not to mention those with the sexual disinhibitions. And on and on. Within minutes, I was wide-eyed and twelve again, the small-town girl caught in big-city traffic.

It might be a long six weeks.

****

On a good note–I did *finally* mange to meet up with the Neurology guy who I’ve wanted to be my advisor! We got a schedule for fourth year cobbled together (I may not have ruined my chances for residency after all!) and right after, I ran into the other doctor that I’m hoping to get a letter of recommendation from (yes, I ended the sentence with a preposition–whatcha going to do about it?!). After weeks of not getting ahold of anybody, everything is starting to come together. Whee!

P.S. A big big welcome and hug to my latest friend donnazita who ironically, is my oldest e-friend. We met 6 (no way!) years ago because of a a just-becoming known actor, Ewan McGregor, and our love for him was the building bridge to our friendship.

They do have chipper as a mood!

Please don’t ask me why I’m chipper. I’m sure if you asked me to analyze it, I would find out that I really am not so. My ankle hurts. My non-existant ab muscles hurt. I spent all afternoon hanging around a tiny office with 5 other doctors, so I could exam 2 patients. (So. Painfully. Boring.)

Yep, started a new rotation, pediatrics, which I have been excited for, but stuck in clinic has kinda sapped me of the glee. I was looking forward to doing well baby checks and looking into kid’s stuffy noses, but I can’t stand just sitting around in a too-small room and changing attendings every half day! Thankfully, this does not count towards evaluations. And it should get better. I hope it gets better.

Only three more rotations and I’ll be done with third year!

Only three more rotations and I’m done with third year. When you really think about it, it’s scary. I went to a med school party this weekend, where I mingled with so many of my classmates that I haven’t seem in months. And it hit me. In just a year and a bit, we’ll be separating and spreading across the country… These close friendships and associations will end. I can’t stop it, and even though it’s so far in the future, that black dread is taking over residence in my stomach.

Hey, come back here chipper feeling!

No, things are good. Really. I just won’t let myself think how miserable my life is going to be when Chris and I are on opposite coasts. 🙁

I am such a nerd. No, really, it’s true. How did I spend my evening? My wonderful evening free of responsibility? Not to mention Valentine’s Day?? Reading articles from the latest Grand Rounds. I discovered this a couple of weeks ago, and I have to admit, when I read these blogs, written by actual doctors talking about real patient encounters, or just the science behind our bodies (they’ve figured out the genetics of why people have different sleep habits??? how cool is that!) I get so excited. Medicine is definitely my calling. Marissa, you should check some of it out–it’s written for the layman, and might give you an idea of the field.

Is tomorrow a new episode of GG? I haven’t seen the previous two yet (oops), but I still plan to and would like to tape it if it is.

And speaking of GG, can I do a bit of shameless plugging? Of course, ff.net messed up half of my formating (they’re taking out commas before quotation marks now!) and I’m not in the mood to go back and change it by hand, so believe me, it really doesn’t have nearly the number of errors in RL.

I’ve had to go through and make all most of my journal friends only. I had been planning on it, but I got friended by a rather, um, unsuitable person. And I really don’t need stalkers. 😉 Unless, of course, you guys want to stalk me, and if that’s the excuse it takes you to come out and visit me, then by all means, I give you my blessing.
.

Geez, after this randomness, you’re going to be begging me not to keep my promises!

*hugs* to flist.

Because I haven’t updated on my life forever, I owe a catch-up journal.

Since we last (truly) saw Julia, she was in the midst of her neurosurgery block, wondering what in the world she had gotten herself into. The hours were long, she limped home every night, and nary a resident acknowledged her existence. I fear many night, she cried herself to sleep, as the sleep-deprivation added to the stress. But, luckily that rotation only last two weeks, and by the end, she had made friends with two residents (one, very very cute, but rather too crass for her taste) and had impressed the attendings with random knowledge about a genetic disease that she knows all too well from personal experience. In fact, she had so much fun, that she almost convinced herself that maybe she could do surgery for the rest of her life, and never seen the sun for the next 8 years and have no personal life. Well maybe not quite. However, time goes by (…you’re older than you ever were and now you’re even older, and now you’re even older… and even two long 5-hours-of-sleep-per-night weeks end, and we all must move on.

Our heroine, as you remember, managed to wheedle/cry/whine her way into neurology rotation. She had had inklings since the previous year, when none of her classes had intrigued her quite as much as the study of the brain did (I hear that she actually spent 6 hours a day studying–even when there wasn’t a test the next day!), that perhaps a career in neurology might be nice, and while she was determined to keep an open mind when approaching her rotations, that little niggle of a thought was always there. Radiology was boring–except when she studied brain MRIs. Surgery, dreadful on the feet–but the cases were cool.

So needless to say, she approached the neurology clerkship with more than a hint of excitement.

Two days into it, she had found her calling. She tells me that she loves being with the patients and her neuro exam, while still jerky (and yes, she still forgets to check eye movements), is improving and she can’t wait for clinic each morning, and, yes, the rumor is true, she stayed late on her birthday because she *wanted* to learn more about multiple sclerosis.

Of course, it still is too early to call–she has been known to be mighty fickle at the last moment, but you may be talking to a future neurologist here!

A big thanks and snuggles to my flist for their birthday greetings! *hugs* You are all fabulous, and every day I am thankful for the chance of knowing you and claiming you as friends.

…Try breaking down and crying!

Remember this post

Apparently sobbing about how your life is ruined works better than calm, rational explanations.

I got my Neurology rotation!! And I start tomorrow! I am sooo excited.

And yes, I survived neurosurgery and am much looking forward to sleeping in until 6.

Ta for now!

I had four lovely hours off today, four hours that I spent on the couch, unable to move, because my feet and back hurt so.

Oh, and I took a bath. I’m more of a shower person but oh, that bath was nice.

My current rotation I’ve been putting in 17 hours a days, more than 12 of them on my feet in surgery. The first night, I came home crying because I had exactly 15 minutes to eat before going to bed, in order to get 5 1/2 hours of sleep.

And now, it’s off to bed with me. A whole hour extra.

See you in 11 days (they’re slowly counting down).

No switch will be made. You must do your third year rotations and at a
break or first of the year do neuro. Sorry.

Dear Office of Student Affairs:

Thank you so much for taking the time to help me. Especially since I’ve been down to your office three times in the last month, addressing this issue. I was very patient in explaining things, time and time again, since you conveniently forgot about our previous visits, every time I came by. Glad to know that those post-it note are doing some good.

But thank you for finally deciding to go and talk to the Dean today. After all, it had only been two weeks–so you were ahead of schedule. And I’m sure that you brought up the particulars for the change, right? You know, the ones that outlined that this was based on health issues and circumstances out of my control? Of course you did. And since you all remember that I’m paying $17,000 a year for the privilege of adding to your salary, I know that you worked extra hard in the 30 second “talk” to make sure that you were living up to your title of representing the “student”.

That’s what I thought.

Been a pleasure working with you. Let’s do it again soon, shall we? I can’t wait until we get to talk next year about how I can’t apply for any residencies because of all this. It’ll be fun!

Love always,

J

Just popping in to say I’m alive and well.

I changed rotations, finished with Internal Medicine last week. I was so sad to see it go, because I had such a great time. It’s definitely on the list of career possibilities–however, I have another 6 weeks of it next spring, so I’ll hold off until then to make my decision. It has everything that I like–the patient interaction, getting to see neat cases (I saw a guy with mercury poisoning… it was so cool!) that I’ve only read about in textbooks, making medical decisions, the integration of all different fields…

So, now I’m radiology…. and I miss Internal Medicine even more. I decided to postpone my surgery rotation because of the problems with my shoulder and so I’m doing a 4th year elective. I’m the only third year–and because of that, I have the residents convinced that I’m a gunner and going into radiology. One resident practically told me that I HAD to get honors. I don’t like having that kind of pressure. I like to do a good job, I’m trying to do a good job, but please don’t expect me to blow you away!

It’s been *interesting* so far. Everyday, I go to work, where I sit in a darkened room and stare at a computer screen trying to differentiate between grey blobs. I have 4 hours of lecture of day, where I sit in a darkened room staring at a Power Point presentation, trying to differentiate between grey blobs. I have fallen asleep at every noon lecture. And I was 45 minutes late today, because I could not make myself care enough to get there in time to just fall asleep, when I could be having much better sleep in my own bed.

No, it’s going better than the first day (I seriously thought I was going to die), and it certainly is more enjoyable now that I can identify a few more grey blobs (I’m getting good at the pancreas!), so we’ll see. Maybe I’ll be singing it’s praises by the end. 🙂

I’ve just been taking it easy for the last few days… I went to the library and got fiction books for the first time since at least May (stayed up way too late last night reading Sorcery and Cecelia by Patricia Wrede… maybe that’s why I’m tired?), and Ellie shirerain and I spent a couple of days playing around with my layout journal, which I lovelovelove. All of the pretty colors is because of her. The painting is by James C Christensen, who is one of my favorite artists of all times. All of his paintings are whimsical and breathtaking and for a moment, convince me that I do believe in magic. And he puts flying fish in half of his art too, can you get any cooler?

Toodles!

Pssst…. If any of you have not checked out teh_music, may I suggest that you hie there immediately? I’ve gotten such great music that I have not been able to get my hands on… *contented sigh*

Remember the Julia way back in April and May, who was so scared for third year that she more than once just considered quitting, debt or no debt?

I don’t even recognize her anymore.

There’s no doubt in my mind that this is where I’m supposed to be. Every day I’m reminded why I love medicine so much. It’s the best feeling in the world, knowing that yes, while I’m clumsy and still gawky, I love doing this, I can do this, and yes, other people believe that I can do it too.

I’m on internal medicine right now, which is basically taking care of ill patients in a hospital setting. As long as they’re not dying or we’re concerned that they could die (those people are in the ICUs), they come to us. Everything that I learned in class last year, yep, I’ve gotten a patient with it. I guess I should have studied glomerular nephritis a little harder, eh?

Just to give you a clue into the workings of the hospital (I had no idea before I started), I’m work with a team of another medical student (detour: I really miss working with Chris!), two interns (about two months post-med school graduates), a resident and one of three attending physicians (licensed, qualified phyisican) that rotate every week or so, The attendings are hospitalists, which means he basically admits and takes care of any one sick in the hospital who’s not needing surgery and those patients get passed down to us.

The first week was dull. Really dull. Our team hardly admitted anyone, I sat around a lot, clueless as to what exactly I was supposed to be doing and just feeling like I was wasting my time. But slowly, the patients starting trickling in and I started getting more involved with their care, and it’s been fabulous since then. I’ve had more than one patient actually think that I was their doctor… of course, I straightened that out really quickly, but it was a nice feeling to think that others thought I was competent enough.

And the last couple of days, I’ve taken on enough responsibility that I’m functioning as an mini-intern. I’m deciding the plan of actions and ordering tests (all of this discussed at great length with the attending of course!) and I’m admitting patients and doing their history and physical, then making sure that everything is arranged for their discharge when that happens. I think my interns and residents like me, and my attending told me that I was doing a great job… I seriously danced around my car after that.

I didn’t mention that my attending is hot, did I? The kind of geeky athletic hotness that wows me every time. I seriously doubt that he’s a day over 30 (yes, that my friends, is still young to me!) and looks younger. Of course, he sort of has a girlfriend, but that’s so easily forgettable. Me likes eye candy. Hence part of the reason for the dancing.

Chris is on psych right now and having a terrible time. His resident is a pain and apparently has depression, and he really hates the “medicate them up!” attitude–his parents are both psychologists with thriving therapy practices, so I think he has seriousy misgivings about the overuse of antipsychotic drugs. I think he’s found one specialty to completely cut off the list! I only get to see him about one a week, but we talk every couple of days, so it’s not too bad.

Not much else going on with me. I tried really really really hard to get LNB finished before you headed off to college, Marissa, but it didn’t work. Maybe a Christmas present?

Wow, actually a happy post from Julia, with no blubbering? Amazing! Folks, this is a once in a lifetime occurrence here!

Wow, once again, long no update from me. Tsk tsk.

And even though it’s almost a month later…. thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your notes of congratulations about my boards. It’s been such an exhaustingly busy month that I only just realized that I never told you how much your words meant to me. You all had much more faith in my abilities and it was soul-enriching to have that faith confirmed. So *BIG HUGS* I love you all, I really do. Reading about your life and struggles and inspiration has made us friends… And there’s so much in my life, that II keep thinking of to share with you, and of course, I run out of time and don’t get to it, but please know how much you mean to me.

I just finished my rotation today, took the written final (contrary to my happy post eons ago, I still unfortunately have tests. Blah.) Yesterday, I had the practical and oral exam portion–which I thought that I blew. I knew the disease that they were quizzing me about, inside and out, but I never even mentioned the major (and only) treatment for the disease! I could have killed myself… But when I got my evaluation back today, the doctors didn’t even seem to notice! If I did well on the written (which, as always could have gone either way), I may have gotten honors. Honors! *shakes head in disbelief*

My evaluations from all of my residents basically said the same thing: I need to work on the confidence thing and take initiative… It sounds so simple, but it’s much harder to implement. I know it’s one of my weaknesses, but it’s hard to wipe away a lifetime of feeling insignificant, a part of the grey background.

Can you believe that it’s been six weeks already? The time (for the most part) flew by. The last part, the Gyn rotation was difficult. While I enjoyed the cases that I got to see and the patients that I followed on the floor (if they were admitted), it was physically hard on my body to the point that I could barely move at the end of a day. I knew that I hadn’t healed as well as I had hoped from my last surgery a year ago. I’ve had three surgeries on my right shoulder and each time it’s taken longer to get back function… I’ve got full range of motion but my strength is dismal, as I discovered when trying to hold back retractors for the surgeons for minutes and hours at end. And now, I’m starting to “feel” my other shoulder. The last CT scan showed that I had a tumor under the scapula on that side, and if I have to have surgery again, I don’t know what I’ll do. Yes, I survived Gyn, but I’ve also got 8 weeks of surgery coming up in a month and a half, where it will be the same thing–only longer and harder. I’m scared that I won’t be able to do it–that that will be my limit and the stressing factor that sends me into the spiral of more surgeries…

Enough of that. It won’t do any good worrying about it. And I’ve fretted and worried enough already. No, I really am doing good. I loved my rotation so much that it’s really lit the passion again for all of this… Medicine is truly what I love, I’m in the right spot, and somehow I’ll make it through everything.

I was asked twice on rotations if I was pregnant. Yeah. Those were great days. I’d love to blame it on the scrubs–they fit everybody ill, but… So, now I gotta add weight loss to my to-do list. *sigh* 🙂

It was Chris’s birthday on Monday. His girlfriend threw him a surprise birthday party last Friday–I was in charge of transporting him to the condo… Much amusement, especially when I had him put a towel over his head so he wouldn’t guess where we were going. The looks we got from other drivers had me in hysterical fits. It was fun. Met some of his old high school friends, which I always hate doing. I never feel more stupid than trying to make small talk with people. All of his buddies are these athletic, super smart, witty people… Seeing them, I still have no idea how Chris and I became friends… No, you think that it’s just my self-esteem issues coming out again, but really? We have so little in common sometimes, I can’t see how we got from point A to B.

Anyway, for his birthday, I made him a collage of some of his pictures from his travels and friends (trying to get on his computer and sneakily download his pics was a challenge!) and then finally, at the party got some pics of the two of us. We’ve been friends for over a year, and these are the first pics I’ve had of him And since I love sharing photos:
Chris and Julia, just click on the images. Some of them look pretty crappy–the flash only worked some of the time and I’m not clever enough with the photo editing programs to get them to look right. I’m the red-head, btw. 🙂 The one of him in Thailand is probably my favorite. It captured him perfectly when he’s trying to be charming.

And yep, that’s Melissa, his girlfriend of a year and a half now. She introduced me at the party as “Chris’s other girlfriend.” Melissa and I get along really well, I like her very much and I think she’s been fabulous for Chris, but when she says things like that, I’m never quite sure how to take it. Most of the time, she seems to be joking, taking it in stride, and then this trace of acid taints her voice and I wonder…

PS…. I heard through the rumor vines that Becka got a new job!!! Congratulations!!! I’m so excited for you. You need to give me details!

Started the morning getting yelled at by my favorite resident. Yesterday, I was supposed to see a patient, before my resident. When I went to see the patient, the chart was gone, so I assume that the resident had seen her and written in the chart. I didn’t follow up on it. Big mistake, chart basically says that the resident agreed with what I wrote–and I didn’t write anything. Resident gets chastised, and I get the load this morning. Great fun.

Ten minutes later, I was criticized again by the other resident. And then again, not five minutes later by my classmate. Little things, petty things, that normally I could have blown off.

Needless to say, the morning did not go well. By ten, I was in tears, frantic because I had to go into surgery and I knew I was going to make huge blunders.

Thank TPTB for Chris… He let me cry, calmed me down, made me laugh. Have I mentioned recently how much I love the kid? The day did get better, thank goodness. The C/S went okay, and my staples were parallel!

I’ve really admired my residents and having them think poorly of me, or think that I’m a slacker really bothers me. It’s more than just getting good recommendations, I really want them to feel like I’m helping them out, making a contribution.

Well, my motto in life is calling me: everything looks better with more sleep. Night, all.

The count so far: ~~2 tubal ligations (one that I almost passed out on… the very last stitch too, so it wasn’t like the surgery got to me. It was murderously hot in that room and the gowns are even more stifling. Luckily, I got away before I tipped over and contaminated the patient. Yep, I’m sure the doc was highly impressed.)

~~7 c/sections. I mostly blot with little clothes and try not to 1-contaminate myself (check), 2- suction at the wrong time, risking damaging internal organs (check, but everything was fine), 3-staple crooked (check, and check again), 4-get in the way(oh, yep, done that many times too). Yeah, I’m a fool in the operating room… And I keep coming back for more. I almost got to see twins, had to scrub out right before they were delivered. (sigh). Maybe this week.

~~6 births, three of them that I delivered myself. With help, of course, but it was awesome. today’s was probably the best–the doctor let me do pretty much everything. It was a girl.

Have I mentioned recently how much I love this job? Seriously. I don’t mind taking call. I don’t mind spending long hours there, because it’s fun.

There’s been some hard parts too. Little premie babies who are so young and fragile, it just makes you hurt. I hate that part, and talking to the parents whose lives completely changed in only a few short hours.

I still hate getting up at 5. 😛 Which means I have to go to bed now.

P.S. Does anybody have a copy of the song “Vindicated” from the Spiderman 2 soundtrack? Lovelove that song, and I would, as I usually do, buy it through iTunes, but for some reason, the only way you can get the song is to buy the whole album… And thank you, but no. I really don’t like the Train song and the theme just gets old. If someone has it and could somehow email/IM/post it for me, I’d love you forever. Just comment, and we can make arrangement.

*smoochies to friends out there in cyberspace* Love you guys.

Got a big white envelope in the mail this afternoon, from the National Board of Medical Examiners.

My heart seriously dropped to the bottom of my toes. I wasn’t expecting my results for at least another week. Tore the envelope open, with help from my sister (my fingers were shaking so badly) and….

I’ve been selected to participate in a survey of those who took the Boards.

Bastards. The least that they could do is put some kind of warning on the envelope that it did NOT contain Board results. Right now, I honestly think I don’t want to know.

It’s just been one of those days. Matt came by today, to drop off some books I lent him… I haven’t seen him for a couple of months now, and thought that he was purged from the system. Nope. Got that whole twittery, gut on the floor (hey, that’s twice today. Must be a record) at his voice and he’s looking good. Too good. And when he said that he had missed seeing me…. Guh. It’s so hard to remind myself that this crush of two years hasn’t progressed at all and isn’t going to. He’s either not interested (most likely) or just pathologically shy and it’s not going to change. Period.

And of course, my face chose today to break out and I was wearing my greasy glasses to give my poor eyes a break. I’m sure I looked fabulous.

Saw Spiderman with Chris and Melissa. They didn’t like it so much… I did. Well, except for the scene where the doctors and nurses were all killed–that was a little too graphic. I remember with the first one, the first time I saw it, I didn’t like it so much because of the clichéd writing, but got over it after reading that that was the point–to make it sound like it came from the comic books. That was their complaint today. Ah, well, next time I’ll see it with a more sympathetic crowd.

Rotations are going great. I’ve seen a couple of births and a c-sections and followed several patients in “my care.” Next week, I’m hoping to actually “catch the baby” and deliver it (with help of course). Birth is amazing, and I really like being around patients like this–mostly healthy, young women about my age and then being able to participate in this special time of their lives. Who knows, maybe I’ll end up going into OB, it’s definitely on the list to consider now. I have call on Monday night and then all of Saturday. I hope I can handle it! Me being up for more than 24 hours seems like a bad idea.

My first day of playing doctor went a lot better than I thought it would. In fact, for the first time, I’m actually really really excited to be starting my rotations, I’ve been dreading them for so long…. Mostly orientation today, but I learned how to birth a (fake) baby and monitor labor. And I met my resident who seems really nice (I’ve heard so many evil!resident stories that would curl your toes) and willing to help us learn–I breathed a big sigh of relief after that. We made our call schedule–I only have 5 nights on call–and I get to go home afterwards!! I’m done pretty much every day by 5:30 (although I start at 5:30 am–still, I thought I’d be spending 18 hours at the hospital every day, this seems like the life of luxury!) And best of all–I get (most) weekends off!!

And tomorrow–tomorrow I scrub in for my first cesarean section!! I can’t wait!

Going to bed at ten seems like a crime, but alas, I must away. Night all!

Just a note to let you know I won’t be around for the next week. Right now, with only five days left, there’s absolutely no way that I’ll be passing the test, much less doing well enough to get me into a good residency. So my studying is being bumped to about 15 hours a day and I’ll be a frantic hermit. I’m about three steps away from a glorified breakdown as it is…

I hate this. So much. I’m starting to have nightmares–my kind, where I don’t hear my alarm clock and sleep in and miss the test. where I forget to leave my cell phone outside and they tell me I can’t take the test, and where I have names of drugs running over and over in my head.

I’ve neglected all of you horribly lately, I hope you can all be patient and forgive me. {{{{HUGS}}}}} to all. You are all so amazing that just knowing that you guys are cheering me on gives me happiness.

Okay, back to the books. I can use all the good luck, wishes, karma, prayers that you are willing to send my way. 🙂

Two weeks of studying all day, every day. I’ve read the entire review book, gone back and filled in missing information. Rememorized the Kreb cycle, found out that patients with sickle cell disease are more prone to infections with Salmonella in their bones, tried to learn the side effects of a whole bunch of drugs. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

And it’s not doing any good.

I’ve been taking practice tests for the past two days. And getting around 60%–which was about what I was doing before I started the studying schedule. Today’s: 50%. Fifty percent! I’m doing worse than before!

Example question:

An obese patient is brought into the emergency room in shock and in need of intravenous fluids. No superficial veins can be seen or palpated. The emergency room physician decides to make an incision to locate the great saphenous vein for the insertion of a cannula (“saphenous cutdown”). In which of the following locations should the incision be made?

A. Anterior to the lateral malleolus

B. Anterior to the medial malleolus

C. On the dorsum of the foot, lateral to the extensor hallucis longus tendon

D. Posterior to the lateral malleolus

E. Posterior to the medial malleolus

Answer is B. Missing it is not the bad part (I thought it was D). The bad part is I didn’t even know where the medial malleolus was! I thought it was the knee. No, It’s the bony part of the ankle. And though I know it’s foreign to anyone who hasn’t taken anatomy–it really is a basic concept in anatomy, one that I should have known.

Yeah, this is good.

10 days… I am so screwed.

Chris emailed M—- this morning and got back an email that said she had already talked to Dr. B— and admitted her error of “laziness.” So it looks like we won’t have to do another paper and there’s no hard feelings or uncomfortableness. I am relieved. I hate thinking that people are out to get me–and at least in this case, it looks like an honest (although pathetically stupid) misunderstanding.

Spent most of the evening tracking down new icons. I’m like Oliver!–I want more, sir! I’ve got another dozen that I couldn’t use, and I keep thinking of more that I want. The Simpsons–I keep thinking I would die to have an animated one of “Lisa the Tree Hugger” and the five-star vegetarian or one of Homer and Maggie, Get Fuzzy, or Calvin n Hobbes for humor. Some more Anne ones. A pen and quill. Maybe a Harry Potter drawing, etc, etc, etc. Yes, folks this is how Julia procrastinates studying how the complement system works.

This truly ranks as one of the worst days ever.

Gotta rant, and it’s long

I am soooooooooo sick of studying. I hate it all. I don’t care if I fail. I really don’t. It’s not worth it.

How it’s been: Wake up before 8 and let Chris in. Read. Read some more. Start to fall asleep. Wake self up. Eat. Read. Throw book across room in frustration and boredom. Take test. Do awful. Fall asleep. Wake up, feel guilty. Read more. Last night, I was up until 1 studying. Not tonight. Tonight, I slacked off. I shall pay tomorrow.

I’ve been distracting myself by writing GG drabbles. Yep, I can’t get away from the fandom. Today I got the loveliest review on LNB that is making me want to get it out and just finish it. The only thing that’s holding me back is I know how much work it would be. I’m the slowest writer in the entire world, and this next chapter is going to be massive…. *sigh*

Speaking of drabbles and my incessant love for them, I formed a community. gg100 Right now, it’s just a place to showcase my writings, until there’s more members. But hey, I’m cocky enough to think that that’s really all people want to read anyway! 😉

And this I found really amusing:

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