Okay, I admit it. This sucks.

I’m frustrated and angry and about to throw this helpless (but not harmless, oh no!) computer out the window.

I feel old and it’s not a nice feeling. Mind you, I’m (only?) 25, but technology-wise, it looks like I’m ancient. Withering. Decrepit. Stoop. Frail. I’ve never felt so ignorant in my entire life. It’s like, no matter how hard I try, how much stuff I read, this will remain a black hole, a taunting enigma that just stands there and laughs at me.

I was going to lj-cut this, but I’m too tired to even remember that code, so here ya go:

“The Rant on the Evilness of Webpages”

I’ve been working for the past five days on the website that I (foolish mortal) am trying to design for my group, Lord of the RIngs Inklings (see my info for link, I’m too tired to type in the address). I’ve worked on it, off and on for the past six months, and saw Christmas break as the perfect time to get it all coded and ready to go for our two year anniversary on the 5th.

I started out formatting the compiled messages from our book discussions. Two days later (and we’re talking working 12-13 hours straight), I’ve finished 6 chapters. Out of around 60. I’m faster, it’s true, the major of the time was spent on the first chapter, but still.

Got bored. Decided that I probably ought to update the links on my templates, so do that. Realize that I’ve designed the templates wrong, so changes don’t work. Try to fix template and ruin every file that used that template, yep you guessed it–all of my work of the last two days. Manage to recover most of it, but now fully aware that I have to build new templates and copy, by hand, all of my hard work over.

Frustrated. Decide that I ought to put in the buttons and drop down menus and the “ooooo” of the page–a vertical, rollover menu navigation bar. Download the file for that one… And I can’t make out a single word of what it says, what I’m supposed to change, etc. I’ve cobbled my way to a basic understanding of HTML, but apparently, JavaScript is completely different.

Spend last two days, browsing the web, learning JavaScript, or at least patching my way to a workable code for the buttons and the drop down menus (yeh!). Found a place that will give me the code for my guestbook, so I don’t have to worry about that (I’ll believe it when I see it).

But I wanted my beautiful vertical rollover menu navigation menu, gosh darn it. Went back to the site, found their (poorly written) references, and basically looked up every single code and what it meant and how to change it. Followed instructions. Painstakingly typed in every single link. Put it where they told me and….

Nothing.

Not a thing. I can’t see anything. I’m not getting an error message, except from Safari, who thinks that there’s some file that doesn’t exist. Now, even the template that came with the package doesn’t work.

Five solid days of hard work and absolutely nothing to show for it. And I’ve just made you read through all of this programing crap that you probably don’t care one iota about. But if you’ve made it this far….

I need help.

If there’s anybody out there, who stumbles across this and understands JS/HTML and Dreamweaver and could look over my code and figure out where I’ve gone wrong, wow, I’d go and register a star under your name. Or write you a really sappy poem. Or whatever. We’re talking “give up the first-born” desperate. Just email me, post a comment, and I’d send you the files all wrapped in eternal gratitude.

On the plus side, I’ve finished my next chapter of LNB. I have to let my sister read it and tell me what she thinks, but it should be posted by the end of this weekend. It’s short, only 12 pages instead of 18. 🙂