Not much of an update this time. Things haven’t changed much since my last letter on Monday. Wards are still difficult. I don’t mean to complain, but having a 19 year old suffer a heart attack and died and not being able to do anything about it, watching another 30 year old get sicker and sicker and finally end up in a coma without anybody knowing why (or bothering to find out. That was the most frustrating. He died this morning right before rounds) has a way of bringing down the even most optimistic spirit. And to add to it all, I spent 30 minutes this afternoon coding a one month old. He was sick with chicken pox, which thanks to vaccines is almost nearly gone in the US (such an odd concept to think that we’re eradicating a disease that I have scars from!)–but to little tiny babies with no immune systems is very very bad. One of the attendings from IU told me this afternoon that I should come and see the baby, since it’s becoming such a rare disease and I might not ever see the lesions again, so we went over this afternoon, with medications to help control the infection. We were just in time to see the baby stop breathing, with no heart rate. So we found a small mask and air pump and pumped air into his little lungs and compressed on his chest, until we got a heartbeat, and the baby started gasping–which was better, but not very assuring of his longterm survival. And there’s nothing more that we can do. There are two ICU beds with ventilators–but they are over on the surgery ward and completely full, so it really is unlikly that this little fellow will make it.

It was very hard on me. It was the first time that I’ve actively participated in a code and to see this tiny baby just lay there… well, I don’t think I can put words to my emotions. Worse was that I so desired to help, to do something to bring life back, and yet there wasn’t much I could do. He was so small, that there wasn’t room to be of assistance, and I hated standing at the back, waiting.

Anyway, that’s been this week. I’ll be rounding tomorrow morning, and then the Utah group (with all of the husbands that arrived this week–which is why, I’m sitting in my room typing this, because I finally have an wireless card!) is headed to spend the weekend at Lake Naivasha, where we’re going to be boated across to see some hippos and do a walking safari on the island where they filmed Out of Africa. There’s apparently a large python that is the “Where’s Waldo” adventure of the trip. It should be a good time–and because I now have a functioning camera, I should be able share the good times with all of you!