Dear Boy,

It’s a super good thing that you are moving in a month, because you are trouble. Those laughing brown eyes and dimples are doing me in. Not to mention the fact that you sat next to me and laughed with me though all the performances, catching my eye, leaning over so I could hear you over the performers.

“What was your favorite part of the night?”

“You.” Heart stops. “Running up to the stage dancing.” *wink, broad smile* Heart sorta starts again.

Gah. Don’t. Need. This. You’re too good looking and have never paid any attention to me before two months ago and I know with certainty I am so not your type.

Probably didn’t help that Friend, who I adore but is somewhat crass and loud, leaned over to me and said (in tones I’m certain you didn’t even have to strain to hear) “How old is that hottie next to you?” If you could hear a blush, I’m sure that it would have drowned out a freight train.

Flirting with you was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Promise me we’ll do it again on Sunday.

Julia

The other surreal experience tonight? Having one girl coming up to me, “do you know my brother Mike? He’s a nerd, well, I mean, he’s into computer I guess, I don’t really know. Anyway, he just wants to hang out. So can I give him your phone number?”

Me, staring at her: “Do you even know my phone number?”

“Your friend Sarah gave it to me.”

Sarah waves. “I thought you should have a good time.”

So apparently, Mike, whom I’ve never met before, is going to be giving me a call next week.

Next year, I’m taking to the stage. I think a little interpretive dance may be in order.

You know what, there is bias in the media, an unfair slant. And it’s making me mad.

With one more loss to the Phillies, CC Sabathia and the Milwaukee Brewers will have all winter to rest.

First it was the coverage of the Mets and how the Mets “helped Brewers earn 1st playoff since 1982”. Um, no. The Brewers won without the Mets help, thank you very much. I don’t recall the Mets players throwing any pitches or hitting a ball in the name of the Brewers. And if the Mets had won, there would have been a playoff game. Then, you could argue that a Mets loss would have “helped the Brewers”.

And I seem to recall Ryan Baun’s grand slam 2 nights before, and nary a mention of it on the Yahoo Sports page.

And now this. Seriously, people, we’ve still got the fat lady and a game to go in home territory. The Brewers are notorious for the last minute saves. So don’t be writing them off yet, yanks, they may surprise you yet.

*wanders off grumbling*

I made an appointment back in August to get my teeth cleaned tomorrow. This was the earliest date they had available. Neuropath is an easy rotation, was my thoughts. And if anything happens, my good buddy Prem will cover for me.

Alas for my poor-not-be-professionally-cleaned-and-detarred-for-two-years teeth, while neuropathology is an extremely easy rotation (I was done by noon today), Thursday’s is the busy day, with going to the VA in the morning and then to the medical examiner’s office in the afternoon and Prem, my back up plan, is not doing neuropath with me this month so he can’t back me up either. I will probably be done by 3, but not in time for my 2:15 appointment.

*sigh* My poor teeth. At this rate, they’re going to be rotted off by the time I can see a dentist.

In good news, I’m spending the month cutting up brains. Wow, have I forgotten a ton of anatomy. I’m going to have to study quite a bit. I rather enjoyed it; it reminded me of when I loved neurology so much that I would spend hours studying the material, drawing out the tracts and nuclei That seems like such a long time ago now. Brain tissue or at least fixed in formalin brain tissue, has a texture that is quite similar to mushrooms. The pathology resident and I were joking about how we felt we were in a cooking class.

Now, excuse me. I’m off to sleep so I can wake up in the morning and not embarrass myself by misidentifying the subthalamic nucleus 5 different times. Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it… yet.

I arrived at work around 8:30 this morning, feeling positively guilty for sleeping in. I wandered over to the pathology department, where I’m supposed to be rotating for the next month. The secretary blinked at me. “Oh, Dr. H doesn’t usually arrive until after 10. I’ll call you when he wishes to meet with you.”

At 10, I found myself in the autopsy lab examining a brain, being asked all kinds of questions that I’m not sure I’ve studied since medical school… and certainly not in the last three months, where my focus has been on treating alcohol withdrawal, pneumonia, and acute renal failure. By 12, we were done and instructed to come back at 3–tomorrow.

*blink*

It looks like there’s about 6-8 hours a week that I’m expected to show up. The rest of it is self study. I haven’t self-studied since med school and I wasn’t very good about it then.

So, instead of studying and instead of doing the 22 clinic notes that I’m behind on and instead of writing out disability paperwork for a patient that I’m not entirely certain should be on disability, I came home and took a nap. I had a migraine from the formaldehyde fumes and it has been a very long month (I flirted very close to the over 80 hours a week limit. I’m sure I went over) and I deserved some time to myself.

Thursday I have an appointment to get my teeth cleaned, the first time in over a year. I hope to get my hair cut and get to the gym on a regular daily basis. I have a week of vacation coming up where my girlfriends are coming out for a long weekend and then my dad and grandparents are driving out to see me.

It’s shaping up to be a very good month.

My friend from medical school, a life long Republican, is making them. He’s become a hard core supporter, it amuses me.

I told him I’d advertise. Any takers?

I have had a fabulous weekend. It’s been so refreshing and relaxing that it almost feels like I had the entire weekend off, instead of just Saturday.

Friday, I came home post call and packed for the “girls only” camping trip. It was one of my friend’s 30th birthday, so to celebrate, we decided to go camping. Yay! I’ve been wanting to go camping all summer long but have been thwarted over and over again by forgetting tents, threatening rain and long work hours. The weather didn’t look promising, but I was naive enough to believe the forecast of “20% chance” of rain. It started raining before we were even on our way. There went those plans. Instead, we went to my friend’s mother’s house, and sat under her car port, grilling our tin-foil dinners (seriously, tin foil asparagus is the most incredible food ever), and basking in the glow of the fire pit (I’m more determined than ever to get one). Afterwards, we all came back to my house and had a sleep over; my upstairs room almost looks like an oversized tent and everybody fit perfectly. We stayed up late talking (well, they did. I crashed early. 2 hours of sleep in 40 hours does not a coherent Julia make) and in the morning consumed pancakes (cooking tip: the addition of vanilla, cinnamon and cardamon makes a fantastic pancake). I haven’t had so much fun in a really long time.

After they all left, I decided to take advantage of my one day off and went over to Home Depot to research more about garage doors. The contractor was busy with another customer, and I got impatient waiting, so just as I was about to decide to leave and just order the darn thing online, one of the other sales associates stopped me. He listened to my rambling complaints of what was wrong with my door and felt that the door and opener were not the problem, that likely I needed some lubrication and new wheels as they get worn out.

I attempted to install the wheels yesterday and I think I’ve figured out the whole problem. It’s doesn’t even seem to be worn out wheels. The tracks were entirely caked in about 6 layers of grease and grim and the bottom part has rusted and the wheels were in a similar state (I don’t think those wheels have made actually contact with the tract in years, hence, there is barely a sign of wear on them, once you remove some of the grime).

I spent all day yesterday getting as much off as I could with a combination of paper towels, knife, fingernails (they could angle the best. I chopped them all off afterwards), and finally, dish soap (didn’t work so well). There’s still at least one multiple layers, but it’s already running just a little bit smoother. I just need to find a really good grease solvent to cut through the rest of it (any ideas???), and then lub it up good with some WD-40, and I think I’m set! YAY! You have no idea how much of a relief this is, this possibility that I might not have to replace my garage door. Of course, I still might have to actually replace the tracks if the rust at the bottom is worse than my original glance-over, but my bishop’s wife has recommended an independent contractor who is reasonable, so I might be able to get that done for a quarter of what I originally predicted. SWEET.

Afterwards, I cleaned up and went over to my neurology program director’s home for dinner which was nice. Everybody brought their kids, there was more food than imaginable (we have a rather large mix of vegetarians, meat consumers, Muslims observing Ramadan, etc). And then after that, I went to my friend Laura’s birthday party. She decided that she wanted to do a sing-a-long party, so we all got together and sang “The Music Man.” Yep, you read that right. We are such nerds. I haven’t seen it since high school at least; I remember most of the lyrics.

This morning, I rounded on all of our patients. We’ve cut the number patients down a lot, which made for easy rounds so I actually was able to make it to church for the first time in three weeks. And then I came home, ready to make potato soup for our on-call pot luck tomorrow, but I’m missing several ingredients, so instead I’m heading to the grocery store bright and early, chopping the vegetables and bringing it all to work so that it can cook in the crockpot all afternoon. Yummy.

And, I’ve figured out most of the problems with my from-scratch blog. It should be up and running in a couple more days. I’m so excited for its unveiling.

This week will be busy. I’m on call tomorrow and Friday. Saturday, I’ve invited my entire church over for a party. *boggles* Not sure exactly what possessed me to agree to host a party when I’m post call and sleep-deprived but there it is. It’s going to be fun, with a firepit in the backyard with camping chairs around and white Christmas lights on the fence, music in the front room, games and instruments downstairs, more games upstairs and tons of food. Luckily, I have the day off on Thursday to clean and all of my friends are coming over Friday when I’m at work to set up, so I don’t have to do that; hopefully, all I’ll have to do on Saturday is nap, take a shower and put on clean clothes and greet the guests.

Okay, I’m off to bed. Gotta get those veggies in the morning. 🙂

Happy Birthday, X-Files!!

Favorite episode: without a question, “The Unnatural.” David Duchovny’s first foray into writing and directing an episode was spot on. I’ve rewatched this episode more times than I could possible count and love it all. Baseball, non-fat tofutti rice dreamsicle, a goldfish named Arthur, an alien who by day dresses in the form of (gorgeous, I might add) Jesse Martin, and a nice piece of ash, what more could you ask for?

Paranormal activity: The street lights go out overhead every time I’m parked at a red light. I thought it was just one of my magical quirks. Like how I always manage to switch on the tv to the same scene of “Four Weddings and a Funeral.” The only reason I’ve seen the whole thing is because of back-to-back showings on TBS. Maybe it’s enough to convince Mulder to come investigate me?

And now, I’m off to bed. I’m on call again tomorrow; this Q4 thing is getting wearisome. I’m hoping the 8 hours of sleep (and I’m really hoping for an early afternoon nap if things are quiet) will make the post-call exhaustion less.

I’m surprised that I haven’t gotten emails/calls/signal fires asking if I was alive, since I’ve been absent.

Never fear, I’m alive and kicking. I think if I were to die, the medicine department would not stand for it, and would be administering pressors and bagging me in the grave.

I just calculated that I’ve worked 46 of the last 62 hours and that might be an underestimate. I’m tired. I’ve had three patients who when I admitted then a week or so ago, were sick but got turned around with the right antibiotics and fluids and TLC, take a turn for the worse in the last 48 hours. One has already passed away; another is likely to go tonight, the other is holding on by his cranky teeth. The hard thing about taking care of cute but sick 80 year olds (as three fourths of my service is) is that they have a tendency to take a turn for the worse very quickly, as at 80+, they don’t have much reserve left.

We admitted more patient today. I was in clinic all morning, only three patients and I still went over time and had to rush back to the hospital so I could figure out what happened to all of my patients and was confronted by catastrophe after catastrophe. I endured the chastisement of the pulmonary critical care fellow for not getting her involved in the sick patients sooner. I had to urgently call surgery on another patient for them to tell me that it wasn’t urgent after all. Two hours spent updating family members. Another 10 minutes talking about treatment options for cancer with another patient. And so forth. I didn’t even see the patients that we admitted until almost 8 this night, luckily they aren’t too terribly sick, just needing some monitoring tonight.

I’m supposed to have the sister missionaries over for dinner tomorrow night. Luckily they called and reminded me or I would have completely stood them up. I should get done earlier tomorrow, barring any more ICU transfers. Good thing too, because I have no energy tonight for washing dishes and straightening up my living room.

And now that I’ve chugged down my evening meal of cereal, I’m off to bed. To start things all over again tomorrow…

Also, my iPod completely died yesterday morning. Or rather, it started making horrible grunting noises and now displays a sad iPod icon before dying again, which from the website sounds like the sign of ultimate demise. My computer won’t recognize it, I can’t reset it. Call nights are going to be really, really, really long without some tunes.

I’m in such a cooking mood right now, and I don’t know why. I’m in the middle of making Chicken Tikka Masala; I finally gathered up the last of the ingredients and decided at 8 tonight to whip it up so I’d have something good to eat on call tomorrow. 6 days into my rotation at the VA and I’m so sick of the food already (granted, it’s the same food that I’ve eaten there for the last two years, so I guess it’s not surprising). So the chicken is marinating and I’ve decided to share some of my favorite recipes that I’ve discovered over the last few weeks.

I have recently fallen in love with cooking with yogurt. I had used it in the past to make my famous salmon (which I have since perfected. I know, I know, it was delicious before, but I’ve made it even better), and then, thanks to this blog that I’ve linked to before, I tried out some other recipes and have been surprised at how versatile yogurt can be. Her Yogurt Cream is absolutely to die for (although, use half-and-half or milk, the extra calories from the cream just aren’t worth it. Especially when you’re cooking for one). And it is perfect for making savory, creamy sauces that are lighter on the calories and fat. Since then, all of my google searches have been for cooking with yogurt. Yogurt and rice. Yogurt and cilantro. Yogurt and cucumber. And have I found some goodies. 🙂 Here are some of my favorites.

Salmon with Chermoula Sauce

Do you remember that year when a dark haired boy got off the bus in Stars Hollow and our lives weren’t quite the same after that? Because of that boy, because of his aloofness and intensity and, face it, smoking hot looks, we were drawn first to the television every week, and then to the internet, where we found each other. It was then, when I tentatively placed my pen to paper and first wrote for an audience. I lived to write, snatching moments in pharm lectures to plan out the next scene, to find just the right combination of words. I loved the reviews that encouraged me on.

It’s been a long time since I was enchanted with Gilmore Girls. Long before the series finale aired, I had stopped watching, disgusted by the changes in Rory’s character, the lack of warmth in the relationship between Lorelai and Rory, the cardboard caricatures that the townies had become. I’ve stopped reading GG fanfiction, my own story gathering figurative dust, two chapters short of finished.

And then I clicked on this story and was instantly transported back to the magical days of Season 2. “Truths Universally Acknowledged” is an absolute delight to read. Her characterization of Jess and Paris are spot on perfect, and Rory, while somewhat wooden in her dialogue is still the charming, bookish 16-year-old that we once loved. Did I mention that it’s all about Jane Austen and takes place after “There’s the Rub” and there’s delightful townies storylines that seem positively lifted from the show? It makes me want to dig out my DVDs, watch all of the old fan videos that Ali and Becka used to make, reread some of my favorite stories, and yes, even tackle my little neglected story again. It’s that good.

You can find links to all 8 chapters of the story here: Truths Universally Acknowledged by 12cubed. Go on, now. Go read and then come back and we can gush together. 🙂

Apparently, my ladder was also among the casualties of the recent heist of my garage, as I discovered this morning when I tried to find it to examine my garage door that has now started making grinding noises and loud squeaks when it closes.

The ladder was heavy, folks. 50 pounds or so. I could barely lift it. It changes this break in from a neighborhood kid going around, testing doors and lifting a camera. This appears more orchestrated than I had thought.

I’m so tired of feeling vulnerable. Now I get to add nightmares of nefarious thugs using the ladder to break in my upstairs. I already freak out every time I open my garage access door. I peer out my screens before leaving the house to make sure that the back gate isn’t open. I’m jumpy, and just two weeks ago, I felt safe.

The door’s gotta be replaced… there’s no way that it’s going to last this winter and I can’t leave things open and leave like I did before. So I’m researching doors and deciding between Lowe’s and Home Depot and will be getting it professionally installed so it’ll last a little longer.

***
There are two trees near work that have red leaves on them. It’s still August, trees! The weather last week felt like autumn had arrived. A friend and I were going to go camping today… and then it turned into summer again. Hot and humid. And supposedly rainy. It hasn’t rained a drop. So we ended up not going. I haven’t been camping yet this summer and I start inpatient wards again next week so I think I’ve missed my chance.

***
I went to a baseball game last night with the rest of the neurology department. It was so much fun. I love baseball, have since the fall of 1992 when the Toronto Blue Jays won the world series and since moving to Milwaukee have made it to a least a couple of games every year. The Brewers stadium (Miller Park) is awesome…we always get the nosebleed seats that are a hundred feet above the field, which always freak me out until I get settled. Last night’s game was the first where the roof was open. I saw with my friend Rehan and his 4 year old son who was shyer than anything… which was easily cured by the spun-suger cotton candy. We made faces at each other with our blue tongues through most of the game and were good friends by the end. Lots of pseudo-nephews and nieces has taught me well.

***
I did go by Best Buy and look at cameras today. I’m going to have to postpone my purchase of the SLR for a couple of months because of the expense of the garage door (natch). But I have decided that the D40 is the camera for me and I will be getting it to celebrate my birthday in a few months (gotta have some reason to look forward to that milestone). It’s small and featherlight, which because of my multiple shoulder surgeries is a necessity. And I think it’ll be just as portable as my last camera. It never fit well in my pocket anyhow, so the one camera will probably do me just fine.

Although I hadn’t realized that the camera doesn’t have live preview on the LCD. I’ve been so used to taking pictures using the LCD only for years that it might take a bit to get used to that again. I loved being able to angle it and getting those shots that were impossible before because I’m short.

Thanks for all of your input! It was sooo helpful and I was so excited to see that many of you had similar cameras and were taking gorgeous photos with them. It makes me feel more and more that I would not just be throwing my money away on a frivolous purchase. 🙂

I did walk out of Best Buy with a copy of Summer Magic on DVD. I couldn’t help it; it was on sale and I need a little more “femininity” in my life. It’s not available on YouTube folks, and sometimes the urge for Old Time Disney can be a little strong.

***
I’m not entirely sure what to make of Joe Biden as Barack Obama’s running mate. I hadn’t even realized that he had been in the primaries and haven’t heard of him before. It looks as if it is going to get ugly, though, and I had been impressed that both candidates had refused to get really ugly. The jabs about Obama being a celebrity candidate and McCain’s 7 houses (seriously??) were pretty mild compared to elections in years past. I guess that’s all going to change now.

At least it’s not John Edwards. I guess I can be thankful that he turned out to be a cheating louse just prior to the decision for running mate (sorry to those who like him. I could never support a guy for president who’s entire career was based on cerebral palsy malpractice lawsuits. But that’s the doctor in me).

My favorite personal speculation was Senator Harry Reid as running mate. I like him a lot and his acerbic tongue and I giggled at the thought of both Harry Reid and Mitt Romney as VP candidates and the chaos that would cause. The Mormons would be all up in arms, questioning if they could really continue to be a card-carrying member and vote Democrat. And the rest of the world would freak out that the Mormons were taking over and soon there would be “National Green Jello with Carrots Day” in March and no alcohol in the country. Good times. Such a missed opportunity. 🙂

***
Strictly Ballroom is still one of my favoritest movies ever. If you haven’t seen it, you should. I watched it again for the hundredth time with my friend Erika who had never seen it again. It’s one of those movies that I can watch over and over and it still cracks me up and turns me into a sappy romantic. I miss dancing…

My camera was stolen.

Oh, wait you guys already knew that. 🙂

My camera was stolen, which means that I need a new one. I had a Nikon Coolpix 7900 which was a very nice camera. It took some lovely pictures all across Africa, Ireland and the US over the last few years. The battery cover latch had recently broken and I was contemplating that I’d probably need a new camera in another year or so; it’s just become a little more urgent of a matter.

So, now I’m trying to decide which one. Ah, life’s decisions.

The 7900 is no longer made, so going back to my old camera really isn’t an option, unless I want to track down a dubious ebay auction (um, no). Which is okay. I liked the landscapes, but unless the light was perfect, portraits were always of low quality and he flash washed everything out. Plus it was super eager to turn on the flash for everything, even when there was plenty of light which drove me nuts.

So, something new then, and boy, am I torn.

Logically, I should just find a replacement. There’s some very pretty, new Coolpix that take some gorgeous, clear pictures.

But…

There’s a part of me, a big part of me, that really wants to get into photography. I like taking pictures, getting just that right shot with the right colors and contrast. I remember being in yearbook as a freshman, positioning myself underneath the basket on the basketball court to get the perfect shot of the ball swishing through the net. Then, I knew absolutely nothing about photography; I learned a little about developing film and exposure and focusing (not enough about focusing as evidenced by the blurry yearbook that year… but the layout was awesome!) that’s it. I know a little more now, but only a little; I’d like to learn more.

I was under the impression that the digital SLR (single-lens reflex) cameras cost thousands of dollars. And they do. The really good ones do. But there are some other options out there. Like this Nikon D40, which is basically marketed as a SLR on training wheels for those who are just starting to learn. It’s smaller, lighter, and according to all of the reviews takes gorgeous pictures and it’s almost affordable. Emphasis on the almost. And by report, I’d probably need a good point and shot camera in addition, anyway, because you don’t always want to be carrying around fancy equipment to capture those blasé moments. So I’d probably have to get 2 cameras and that just makes my pocketbook hurt.

Anybody out there have any opinions? What kind of camera do you use? Do you like it? Would you buy it again? Should I splurge (modestly) on a hobby or save my pennies for that garage door that needs replacing and paying back those student loans?

When I was walking up the sidewalk to my garage this morning, I noticed that my back gate was slightly ajar. This was odd. I rarely open my gate because the wood has warped slightly because of all of the snow and thaw/freezes of this past winter and so it doesn’t close without a very good prod. I scratched my brain, trying to recall if I had recently taken out the garbage (I hadn’t). With building trepidation, I opened my garage door. No one was there… but my car was unlocked (I have such a reflex of locking my car door that I have locked my keys in on a few occasions), and looking in, my glovebox was open with papers strewn across the seat

Yep, my car was broken into. Whoever it was didn’t make away with any great loot (I don’t even have a CD player in my car)… but my camera was there, as I had taken it to get pictures of last night’s pool party (which I didn’t even end up taking any!) and it’s now missing and I think they took the little power snow shovel that I bought with the first snow storm that didn’t do anything. But they didn’t break any windows. My car is intact. my lawnmower is safe. My snow blower is safe. The car title and registration and insurance information is all there. They didn’t take my white coat or stethoscope or badges (which would have been a huge issue with concerns of identity theft and security at the hospitals). I had just downloaded all of my pictures from my camera, so I haven’t even lost those memories.

I’ve already let my neighbors know (and have finally gotten introduced, yay!). One of them had an attempt on their garage a few days ago. Another had seen neighborhood kids wandering around late at night, which could or could not mean anything. I wasn’t able to call the police before I left this morning, because of my clinic responsibility (sometimes being a resident really, really sucks).

I’m feeling extremely vulnerable and jumpy now. I’ve always felt completely safe in my house. I have lights in my backyard that practically light up the neighborhood. I have motion sensor lights at my backdoor. Funny enough, there was a security salesman who visited last week, and I was strongly considering getting a security system; I just wanted to research a little more before I committed. I knew that with my schedule and not always being around and living alone, I was at risk, but I had convinced myself that this was a quiet neighborhood, forgetting I think I was ignoring some nudges of inspiration there, will do better next time. 🙂

I’m off to home depot to research home security devices. If anybody has any suggestions (except that of getting a dog) I’d sure appreciate them!

(Notice the date… written last week and accidentally posted now.)

Chicken spagetti made with spinach and yogurt is an interesting combination. Not bad, really, but it took a couple of bites.

This started out as an attempt to make chicken tikka masala. But I’m missing ingredients for this new recipe I found (there is an appalling lack of ginger in my house), and I couldn’t let the chicken go to waste and I’m rather infatuated with cooking with yogurt recently (I think I perfected my salmon recipe), so… the above was the result.

I’m not sure that I’ll be repeating it soon.

So, my mother noted that I haven’t been updating my LJ and called in a panic on Sunday to make sure that I was alive. To alleviate those other worries about my safe-being, yes, I’m alive. I’m just bored and have little to talk about. Okay, I do have things to say: I’ve got a post brewing about the Vienna Teng concert that I went to on Tuesday which may have even been better than her first concert two years ago (her music makes me want to write in purple prose. I love it!). I’m still not a clinic person and I’m really glad that I didn’t go into orthopedic surgery (sample of the conversation today: “Is [he/she] on pills? [He/She] sounds like someone who would be on pills” – referring to antidepressant medications. And this gem to a young, but overweight patient coming in for referral “So, is this you? I mean, when we do the operation is this what I have to deal with?” UGH. Please note that this is not an attack or rant against orthopedics or surgeons in general. My favorite, most inspiring doctor in the entire world is an orthopedic doc. Because of my bone disease, I have to see them periodically as a patient, and the number of muscles and ligaments that they have to know thwarted me in med school and hasn’t gotten much better. That said, this particular orthopod was a jerk.)

My new blog s almost, almost ready for its unveiling. I’m trying to figure out the heading, and once that’s done, I need to transfer all of LJ entries over (which I keep putting off in the hopes that somebody will figure out how to import moods and current music fields. Tags would be nice too), and then it’ll be ready. I think. I can’t tell you how much effort this has been. I started working on it back in March, messed something up, deleted it, started again in May, deleted, repeated about 3 times in June and finally got the current version partially running in July… just in time for the upgrade of wordpress to 2.6. *sigh* I’ve devoted much of my spare time over the last two weeks to figuring it out. Most of my problems have been related to the fact that I know next to little about webdesign… the little I taught myself for my little website was all HTML (and sloppy HTML at that) and that has been long since forgotten. WordPress does make it easier in that most everything is run through plugins, but if something goes wrong (and it always does), then I had to dig through the code to figure out what was up. The only thing I haven’t figured out is how to expand out the default size of the comments once they’ve been posted and how to get the UserPhoto working so that it actually shows up inside the comments, rather than haphazardly across the page as it currently is wont to do. I’ve given up on that for the moment (unless of course some computer programming brainiac out there might know the answer!) and have accepted that my blog won’t look quite the way that I want it to. At least at this point.

But, Julia, why the switch, I hear some of your asking (I’m psychic, did I tell you?). There’s a variety of reasons (I like lists):

– One, I’ve got a lot of friends and family who read this journal and don’t have a LJ themselves, and I don’t think any of them enjoy replying as an “anonymous.”

– Two, I have been rather disgruntled by the change in management styles and the addition of advertisement across all of the pages, and while I completely and totally understand that this is a for-profit business and they can do whatever they want, that doesn’t mean that I have to support it with my money.

– Three, I’ve been paying for my own web domain for over 4 years now. I probably won’t ever finish my LOTR Inklings project, but the thought of giving it up breaks my heart. So this is a little bit of a compromise and allows me some relief of the guilt of money wasted.

– Four, WordPress has some nifty, nifty functions, like a picture gallery plugin that’s even prettier than Flickr and customizable sidebar widgets.

– Five, I don’t know if you all are aware, but there’s been some backlash and criticism to physician blogging, thanks to a couple of articles in the LA Times, the NY times, and JAMA. I’m such a lurker and rarely update my other medical blog, so I’m not showing up on anybody’s radar, but I like the idea of being able to more closely control who is seeing what I write. And while LJ has this great feature of being able to friendslock an entry, that doesn’t change problem #1. WP allows me to register readers.

– Six. I can’t recall what the sixth reason is. It probably doesn’t matter.

I’m not leaving LJ, no worries. All of my entries will be cross-posted to both, the entries here will just be much more censored and locked down. And I’ll still be active in reading my friends’ LJ, although comments are still expected to be sparse.

The problem with wordpress is that it is a blog. LJ is great because it’s a journal, my journal. I can write down everything, regardless if it has a purpose. But a blog conveys that posts have themes and reasons, and I’m not sure that I like that. I’ve tried writing a couple of pure medical blogs and failed miserably. We’ll see.

I might go camping tomorrow. Yay! That is, if I manage not to get called in for back-up call and I get out of clinic on time.

And I don’t want to go to clinic in the morning.

iTunes has just released Season 1-3 on the downloadable DVDs, for a mere $25.87 ($1.99 each episode). The Christmas episodes aren’t there and obviously, there’s no “behind the scenes” commentary or David Tennant diaries, but still, it’s an option.

I was also going to say that X-Files season 1-3 is also available. But those are much more expensive and Season 1 is missing one of the best episodes (Beyond the Sea), so personally I’d wait (well, personally, I already own the DVDs, so the point is moot. Moot. I love that word).

My X-Files party went splendidly, by the way. There was a newbie in the crowd, so we watched The Pilot (always a favorite), Squeeze and Post-Modern Prometheus, which was voted the favorite. I gave a quite the girlie scream and betrayed my cool demeanor during Squeeze, even though I’ve seen it a dozen times and knew what was going to happen…. I’m never going to survive tomorrow/Saturday when I finally get to see the movie.

I got recertified in ACLS (advanced cardiac life support) yesterday. Man, it’s so much easier after two years of experience. I haven’t run a code in months, but just knowing exactly what the drugs do and the thought process and the pathophysiology helps so much. At the end of med school, I was so clueless and ignorant. I’m still behind the time (ask my attending when I was unable to tell him what the common side effects of niacin are), but at least, I’m better than I was two years ago.

And other than that, not much going on. My life revolves around the various clinics and I’m getting a little wearied at the constant change. Every place has different expectations, different places to hang your bag, different places to find forms, etc, and it’s tiring learning it all over again, both morning and afternoon. Plus, clinic patients always drain me. I don’t get the chance to review their labs and their images, or whatever. They’re there for those 20 minutes and they want answers, regardless of whether I have them, so I’m always thinking on the fly and I hate that. Still enjoying the free evenings. Tonight I picked raspberries, tripped on one of the bushes and lost the entire bowl. Luckily, I have a very abundant crop this year and was able to pick more to use with the Yogurt Cream that I made for my XF party (sooo good. Sooo creamy. So many calories (we’re ignoring the advice about using whipping cream and going with milk next time. It may taste better, but I’m the only one around to eat the leftovers and golly, the guilt!).

I really need to do laundry.

Oh, yeah, and Happy Pioneer Day! I rather miss the middle of July state holiday. Any special celebrations? BBQs? I wish I was there, but in the mangled words of Brigham Young, “This is the right place for me.” Hee.

I’ve hated clinics since I was a med student–I learned very early on that the place where I thrive, where I fit, is the hospital, and the 20 minute focused visits where I’m supposed to address the reason that the patient is there as well as any other issues that invariably crop up (social issues, always social issues) make me crazy.

Granted, my visits with a patient in the hospital usually are as short, if not shorter (ie, morning rounds: “Hi Mr So and so, how did you sleep? Breathing better? Any overnight issues? Okay, well, let me just listen to your heart/squeeze my fingers/press on your belly. I still haven’t seen your latest labs/images, but I’ll be reviewing them this morning and the whole team will be by to see you later this morning. Oh, probably around 10 or so. Hmm, I’m not sure when you’re going home, it depends on if the labs/images are improving. Work hard with physical therapy today. Any questions? Okay, I’ll see you later. Have a good morning!”), but the overall effect of seeing them day after day, discussing the case for hours with the team, looking at labs and images and making changes then to the plan, etc… It all makes it seem like there is a much more comprehensive rapport that develops over the 3-4 (or 10) days that they’re there in the hospital.

So, anyway. I’m doing outpatient clinics for the next two months (well, we’re down to 5 weeks now). And I had been dreading it. Okay, besides the weekends off, the 8 to 5 hours, the no call, dreading it. Strangely, I’ve really enjoyed the month so far. I’ve worked in the Allergy clinic, in the Cardiac Arrhythmia clinic, learned how to do PFTs, worked in the VA emergency room, in urgent care. And it’s actually been fun. It’s definitely better when you have a little more control on what goes on with the patient.

Oh, and the half days off… Brilliant.

****
Because of the half days and free weekends, I’ve almost got a social life back. I went to the movies on Friday night (Hellboy, was rather unimpressed, which surprised me, because I had heard such good things about it. Sean Means, my personal movie reviewer *cough* gave it 4 stars! We have never parted company in opinions before. What is the world coming to?), on Saturday, I volunteered at a nursing home playing Bingo with the inhabitants; I was the announcer of the numbers and gave out prizes such as a stuffed purple poodle, that I craved myself.

A friend came by later that night and we made microwave cakes and complained about the shortage of dateable guys in our ward. There’s a large group of us who are older and getting slightly bitter (more than slightly in my case), that these guys, who are our age, are only dating the 18-19 year olds, if they’re even doing that. We’re thinking about starting a support group, because like it or not, the chances of us dating and getting married get smaller every year, and it’s a hard realization. I think it’s just hitting me now, the fact that I’ll be 30 in just a few short, short months. Bah.

****
CuteIntern is still freaking adorable (although no longer an intern *sniff*). While commiserating with him about the should-have-expected-it ending of Dr. Horrible, he told me to check out a new show. A new show on ABC Family. A new, extremely campy, yet somewhat witty show on ABC Family, entitled “The MIddleman” which should should be checked out by everybody. I had to search everywhere for a streaming video (they lie about the season being available at ABC Family) so if anybody is interested, I can send you the link. It’s extremely campy, I don’t think I can emphasize that enough and it’s exactly why I think some of you will enjoy it. Seriously, take the pseudoscience alieny feeling of Doctor Who, add a good dose of insanity ala Red Dwarf, splash it with the chattiness of Gilmore Girls, and then spoof it all on turbo, and you’ve got the show.

****
I’m having an X-Files party tomorrow to get ready for the new movie. I’m so excited, yo! We’re going to be watching a couple of our favorite old episodes and then the old movie. Hmm, which ones would you pick?

I’ve been very, very good about avoid spoilers and reviews, so I haven’t heard if the new movie is good or not. I don’t care. It’s been 10 years since I watched the first one and became an instant X-Files fan. Ten years since I lived and breathed X-Files, watching the new eppys with Sus on Sunday and all the reruns on FX whenever I could catch them, collected action figures (shut up), cut my hair like Dana Scully. I’ve lost my XF callouses though… I used to be hardened enough that I could watch even the most disturbing episode (Home, anybody?), and not flinch (too much). Now, I’m a wuss; I’m going to be whimpering and cowering in the theaters. I. Can’t. Wait.

Please, make it good, Chris Carter. I’ve cursed your name and doubted you since the series ended. You had over 5 years to get it right.

Within a half hour, I was asked to dinner and threatened with a lawsuit ….by the same patient.

I talked him out of both.

*****
I haven’t received any of my mail since I got back from vacation and was getting really, really perturbed at the Post Office for stealing my mail.

Until I checked the hold notice, and noted the delivery date is July 21st. It’s not as fun getting pissed off at yourself. *sigh*

*****
I have the morning off tomorrow (this clinic life is so sweet. Well, except yesterday when I was there until aft 7:30 doing notes. Then it was not so sweet). I’m planning on celebrating by sleeping in and making myself breakfast.

*****
And, finally, PSA:

Do yourself a favor, click on the picture and enjoy the awesomeness that is Dr. Horrible, Joss Whedon’s mad scientist creation. I finally got to see it (the site has been overloaded for days) and it’s amazing and the most entertaining half hour that I’ve had in a long time. The last episode will be posted on Saturday, and then it’ll come down on Sunday, so you’d better act quickly!

You know what’s more disheartening than find out the guy you crushed on throughout medical school is now married? Finding out, now, that he’s a democrat and a supporter of Barack Obama. DRAT. Single democrat Mormon guys are so exceedingly rare, that if I had realized, I really would have tried to pursue much more than I did. 🙂 (Okay, that might have been an impossibility, save me throwing myself on the hearth and refusing to leave until he dated me)

Actually, I am ecstatic for him and not upset about his nuptials. I had gotten over the crush a long time ago and she seems very nice and just right for him.

But, oh, the lost opportunity.

****

I fly out to Utah tomorrow for a week of vacation. My parents were supposed to come out here, so we could work on my house, but my sister had surgery and is less mobile than anticipated. So instead I’m going home, where I hear that it’s hotter than blazes. Meanwhile, the weather here has been gorgeous for the past 2 weeks–an occasional downpour and then 60-70s with blue skies.

I’m excited to go home. I’m hoping to work on some projects such as transferring my blog (more to come), scanning family pictures, making DVDs out of some beloved VHS tapes that are wearing thin, BBQs, etc.

In the meantime, my ward had planned on coming over and helping me with my place as well. As there was something like 23 volunteers, they’ve decided to go ahead with it, so I’m leaving instructions on what needs to be done. Hopefully, I’ll come back to a smashed up sidewalk, a ditch that runs to front yard, bleached walls and patched window sills. I’m overwhelmed at the thought of all of the help–I know I couldn’t have done it on my own.

In any case, I need to get to bed. Have a lovely 4th, all of you!

This makes me happy. (Read his blog as well. Witty observations and pictures that almost make up for the fact that I can’t be the globe trotter that I want to be.)

(for HD quality, click on the video to go to youtube. It looks way prettier)

(The lyrics to the song, translated)

I honestly can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched this over the last few days. There’s just something about watching all of those people in all of the world coming together that melts away every pessimistic thought in my head.