Things I’m looking forward to this month:

1. Going to Michigan to see my friends Michelle and Kelly and their little family. Interviews #2 & 3 on Monday and Tuesday

2. Weekend trip and interview in Portland. I looked online and determined that it was roughly the same price to fly in Friday as it was to fly in Monday. I’ve never been to Portland and it’s been high on my list (along with Seattle and Vancouver) and I haven’t been on a vacation to just see a new place in a long time. I’m already drooling over the photographing potential. Mountains!

3. Following weekend in Boston, visiting Chris and Gretchen. I’m interviewing in Philadelphia, so it made a good excuse to jump over and see them. As I’m still waiting for the itinerary from Philly, I haven’t gotten tickets yet, which is making me anxious. Boston in late winter is probably not as awesome as Boston in the fall, but it’ll do. Any must see sights?

So for those who are keeping score at home, by the end of this month, I’ll have interviewed at 5 places (I may be able to squeeze one more in), I have 2 scheduled in April, 4 other programs have contacted me and stated that they “would decide soon” about interviews (that was about a month ago), and I haven’t heard anything from 3, including the program here (still!!!). Of the 6 unknowns, I really only want to interview at 2-3 (really only one, but the others I have to because of connections), so I should be able to squeeze them in. I do love when things start sliding into place.

Forgive me for my absence here during February. I actually had a pretty good month with weekends free and no call. I was doing palliative care consults in the hospital, which translates to lots of family meetings and talking about goals and how people want to spend their last days, weeks or months. As this is something that I need to perfect, as well as intrigues me (I don’t get excited about new techniques and drug trials, but talk to me about how we as doctors can communicate better with our patients and families and I’ll gab your ear off for hours), I found the month informative and moving rather depressing. I really do love it when the patients and the families work towards a “good death”: whether that means stopping the treatments and focusing on comfort or continuing to hold on for the next treatment, because life is what’s important to them, as long as we’re doing what the patient and family wants.

One of the residents died in a car crash earlier in the month too, which sent me reeling. We worked closely together, shared many a sleepless nights and many a crashing patient. It was only after her death that I realized that I didn’t know her at all and that we could have been really good friends outside of work. Her memorial was beautiful, full of hope and celebration, although I sobbed through most of it (especially when my neurosurgery boys gave their eulogies. I’ve never seen them cry before). She left a gaping hole and I think I’m still grieving.

Yeah, aren’t you glad you didn’t have to read a month of this pathos?