1) One of my coworkers moved to San Francisco in February. I thought we were pretty good friends – she invited me to her wedding last year. But I haven’t heard a word from her since she moved. I found out that she’s been texting regularly with others and some of them have visited her within the last month. I hate always having this insecurity about what I mean to others.

2) I’m going to have to confront my boss about something that she is wrong about tomorrow. It’s something that is affecting the care that I provide my patients, so I have to do it, but I hate confrontation and I’m not looking forward to it.

3) I went camping with my family in Yellowstone last week. There was a man camped a couple of spots down and the two of us exchanged conversations every night that we were there. He was good-looking with a warm smile. I haven’t had a crush or an inkling of anything for more than 10 years on anybody. I blame reading The Moon At Night when I was 12 and impressionable for the lowering of my defenses because I always get romantic when camping. My dad ended up cock-blocking me from getting any contact information and he did not follow after me.

4) At the end of my vacation, I met up with my college friends for an evening – one of them was somebody that I hadn’t seen in person for nearly 20 years. We had been friendly in college, I thought he was cute, but he had a long-term girlfriend, whom he married two weeks after graduating. They got divorced several years ago, I’m facebook friends with him, and I find him funny. I invited him to this party. He accepted. He’s still cute. And divorced. And post-Mormon.

5) This old friend. His mom died last week, unexpectedly. I texted our group of friends (we call ourselves the Plethora) and arranged for succulents to be delivered to his house and a gift card to his favorite fast food place from college (I did not remember that this was his favorite. I’m not that creepy. I think.). None of this was under my name, it’s all labeled from the Pleth.

6) I’ve thought about sending something from just me. A box of cookies. Some soup and bread (dealing with death as a single person just sucks). Test the waters maybe.

7) I might have until I heard about my old coworker being friendly with everybody but me.

8) I haven’t had a crush in 10 years because hope devastates me.