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12th August 2008

oh, this is fun…

When I was walking up the sidewalk to my garage this morning, I noticed that my back gate was slightly ajar. This was odd. I rarely open my gate because the wood has warped slightly because of all of the snow and thaw/freezes of this past winter and so it doesn’t close without a very good prod. I scratched my brain, trying to recall if I had recently taken out the garbage (I hadn’t). With building trepidation, I opened my garage door. No one was there… but my car was unlocked (I have such a reflex of locking my car door that I have locked my keys in on a few occasions), and looking in, my glovebox was open with papers strewn across the seat

Yep, my car was broken into. Whoever it was didn’t make away with any great loot (I don’t even have a CD player in my car)… but my camera was there, as I had taken it to get pictures of last night’s pool party (which I didn’t even end up taking any!) and it’s now missing and I think they took the little power snow shovel that I bought with the first snow storm that didn’t do anything. But they didn’t break any windows. My car is intact. my lawnmower is safe. My snow blower is safe. The car title and registration and insurance information is all there. They didn’t take my white coat or stethoscope or badges (which would have been a huge issue with concerns of identity theft and security at the hospitals). I had just downloaded all of my pictures from my camera, so I haven’t even lost those memories.

I’ve already let my neighbors know (and have finally gotten introduced, yay!). One of them had an attempt on their garage a few days ago. Another had seen neighborhood kids wandering around late at night, which could or could not mean anything. I wasn’t able to call the police before I left this morning, because of my clinic responsibility (sometimes being a resident really, really sucks).

I’m feeling extremely vulnerable and jumpy now. I’ve always felt completely safe in my house. I have lights in my backyard that practically light up the neighborhood. I have motion sensor lights at my backdoor. Funny enough, there was a security salesman who visited last week, and I was strongly considering getting a security system; I just wanted to research a little more before I committed. I knew that with my schedule and not always being around and living alone, I was at risk, but I had convinced myself that this was a quiet neighborhood, forgetting I think I was ignoring some nudges of inspiration there, will do better next time. 🙂

I’m off to home depot to research home security devices. If anybody has any suggestions (except that of getting a dog) I’d sure appreciate them!

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7th August 2008

cooking adventures

(Notice the date… written last week and accidentally posted now.)

Chicken spagetti made with spinach and yogurt is an interesting combination. Not bad, really, but it took a couple of bites.

This started out as an attempt to make chicken tikka masala. But I’m missing ingredients for this new recipe I found (there is an appalling lack of ginger in my house), and I couldn’t let the chicken go to waste and I’m rather infatuated with cooking with yogurt recently (I think I perfected my salmon recipe), so… the above was the result.

I’m not sure that I’ll be repeating it soon.

So, my mother noted that I haven’t been updating my LJ and called in a panic on Sunday to make sure that I was alive. To alleviate those other worries about my safe-being, yes, I’m alive. I’m just bored and have little to talk about. Okay, I do have things to say: I’ve got a post brewing about the Vienna Teng concert that I went to on Tuesday which may have even been better than her first concert two years ago (her music makes me want to write in purple prose. I love it!). I’m still not a clinic person and I’m really glad that I didn’t go into orthopedic surgery (sample of the conversation today: “Is [he/she] on pills? [He/She] sounds like someone who would be on pills” – referring to antidepressant medications. And this gem to a young, but overweight patient coming in for referral “So, is this you? I mean, when we do the operation is this what I have to deal with?” UGH. Please note that this is not an attack or rant against orthopedics or surgeons in general. My favorite, most inspiring doctor in the entire world is an orthopedic doc. Because of my bone disease, I have to see them periodically as a patient, and the number of muscles and ligaments that they have to know thwarted me in med school and hasn’t gotten much better. That said, this particular orthopod was a jerk.)

My new blog s almost, almost ready for its unveiling. I’m trying to figure out the heading, and once that’s done, I need to transfer all of LJ entries over (which I keep putting off in the hopes that somebody will figure out how to import moods and current music fields. Tags would be nice too), and then it’ll be ready. I think. I can’t tell you how much effort this has been. I started working on it back in March, messed something up, deleted it, started again in May, deleted, repeated about 3 times in June and finally got the current version partially running in July… just in time for the upgrade of wordpress to 2.6. *sigh* I’ve devoted much of my spare time over the last two weeks to figuring it out. Most of my problems have been related to the fact that I know next to little about webdesign… the little I taught myself for my little website was all HTML (and sloppy HTML at that) and that has been long since forgotten. WordPress does make it easier in that most everything is run through plugins, but if something goes wrong (and it always does), then I had to dig through the code to figure out what was up. The only thing I haven’t figured out is how to expand out the default size of the comments once they’ve been posted and how to get the UserPhoto working so that it actually shows up inside the comments, rather than haphazardly across the page as it currently is wont to do. I’ve given up on that for the moment (unless of course some computer programming brainiac out there might know the answer!) and have accepted that my blog won’t look quite the way that I want it to. At least at this point.

But, Julia, why the switch, I hear some of your asking (I’m psychic, did I tell you?). There’s a variety of reasons (I like lists):

– One, I’ve got a lot of friends and family who read this journal and don’t have a LJ themselves, and I don’t think any of them enjoy replying as an “anonymous.”

– Two, I have been rather disgruntled by the change in management styles and the addition of advertisement across all of the pages, and while I completely and totally understand that this is a for-profit business and they can do whatever they want, that doesn’t mean that I have to support it with my money.

– Three, I’ve been paying for my own web domain for over 4 years now. I probably won’t ever finish my LOTR Inklings project, but the thought of giving it up breaks my heart. So this is a little bit of a compromise and allows me some relief of the guilt of money wasted.

– Four, WordPress has some nifty, nifty functions, like a picture gallery plugin that’s even prettier than Flickr and customizable sidebar widgets.

– Five, I don’t know if you all are aware, but there’s been some backlash and criticism to physician blogging, thanks to a couple of articles in the LA Times, the NY times, and JAMA. I’m such a lurker and rarely update my other medical blog, so I’m not showing up on anybody’s radar, but I like the idea of being able to more closely control who is seeing what I write. And while LJ has this great feature of being able to friendslock an entry, that doesn’t change problem #1. WP allows me to register readers.

– Six. I can’t recall what the sixth reason is. It probably doesn’t matter.

I’m not leaving LJ, no worries. All of my entries will be cross-posted to both, the entries here will just be much more censored and locked down. And I’ll still be active in reading my friends’ LJ, although comments are still expected to be sparse.

The problem with wordpress is that it is a blog. LJ is great because it’s a journal, my journal. I can write down everything, regardless if it has a purpose. But a blog conveys that posts have themes and reasons, and I’m not sure that I like that. I’ve tried writing a couple of pure medical blogs and failed miserably. We’ll see.

I might go camping tomorrow. Yay! That is, if I manage not to get called in for back-up call and I get out of clinic on time.

And I don’t want to go to clinic in the morning.

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2nd July 2008

well, strike that one off the list.

You know what’s more disheartening than find out the guy you crushed on throughout medical school is now married? Finding out, now, that he’s a democrat and a supporter of Barack Obama. DRAT. Single democrat Mormon guys are so exceedingly rare, that if I had realized, I really would have tried to pursue much more than I did. 🙂 (Okay, that might have been an impossibility, save me throwing myself on the hearth and refusing to leave until he dated me)

Actually, I am ecstatic for him and not upset about his nuptials. I had gotten over the crush a long time ago and she seems very nice and just right for him.

But, oh, the lost opportunity.

****

I fly out to Utah tomorrow for a week of vacation. My parents were supposed to come out here, so we could work on my house, but my sister had surgery and is less mobile than anticipated. So instead I’m going home, where I hear that it’s hotter than blazes. Meanwhile, the weather here has been gorgeous for the past 2 weeks–an occasional downpour and then 60-70s with blue skies.

I’m excited to go home. I’m hoping to work on some projects such as transferring my blog (more to come), scanning family pictures, making DVDs out of some beloved VHS tapes that are wearing thin, BBQs, etc.

In the meantime, my ward had planned on coming over and helping me with my place as well. As there was something like 23 volunteers, they’ve decided to go ahead with it, so I’m leaving instructions on what needs to be done. Hopefully, I’ll come back to a smashed up sidewalk, a ditch that runs to front yard, bleached walls and patched window sills. I’m overwhelmed at the thought of all of the help–I know I couldn’t have done it on my own.

In any case, I need to get to bed. Have a lovely 4th, all of you!

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10th June 2008

fyi

For those interested, pictures of the damage and my new, carpetless basement can be found here.

I was about to take pictures of the pond that was my sidewalk/back door and the swamp in my backyard when I noticed that the drains were no longer working, so that’s not documented. And I missed getting a picture of me, after I had gone wading outside, with my hair more plastered than Audrey Hepburn’s, so ya’ll will just have to imagine it. I looked fabulous.

It already smells so much better down there.

I’m hoping that this is the end of the saga…

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10th June 2008

drying out

I came home today and was overwhelmed by the musky smell from my basement. I managed to borrow a carpet cleaner from a friend and used that to suck up tons of water last night, but it was no use. The carpet was still wet and the glue was so saturated that the carpet was just peeling back from the floor. So I continued to help it along and pulled up all the carpet squares, except for those under the couch (which will get down when I get some muscle men here tonight). I had thought about saving it and trying to put it back down once it had dried, but I don’t have anyplace to hang them up to dry and they’re already sticking together, so they’re going to the trash. The floor is a rather dull gray, btw, but I’d take puce if it means that the smell is gone.

We’re going for a rug next time. A nice, easy to lift up when the flood waters come again type of rug.

Still on the list to do to make my house better for the next rain:

Clean out gutters
Silicon seal the window pane/sill
Buckets and towels (bad decision to leave all of my crappy towels behind)
Buy new window sill covers ($40 for a piece of plastic!)
Laundry of all of the wet clothes that got caught in the uprising

So much to do. Too lazy to do it.

I’m so thankful that the damage wasn’t worse. My next door neighbors had water coming in their back door, flooding their kitchen and spent all night Saturday and Sunday hauling water. Another friend had sewage backup in her basement, which is wayyy worse. And you’ve probably all seen the video of the houses that floated away and the dam that broke. That would have been truly terrifying. All in all, I’ve been blessed by friends who were willing to come when I called, a drain that only backup for 20 minutes and then cleared, leaving my furniture, furnance, water heater and washer/dryer and TV functional and mostly dry. And I’ve got easy to remove carpet as well.

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8th June 2008

stormy weather

In the last 5 minutes, the entire sky has turned black. I’m on the 5th floor of the hospital in the room with the big bay windows, so that I can check out a MRI on a patient, and it’s freaking me out. An “attention hospital staff: code grey” overhead announcement just went out… severe weather warning (black is the imminent danger/thornado, so I guess it’s a bit better) until 11 pm tonight. But this storm system is supposed to last until Wednesday. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to last until Wednesday!

There were at least 5 other people today with tales of woe and floods, including one of my attendings, whose fancy car was buried in 3 feet of water, as he lives at the bottom of the gully. From what it sounds like, Milwaukee has a problem with the drains on the municiple sewer and when the flash storms come, the water is unable to drain and backs up into everybody’s basement.

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7th June 2008

when it rains it pours and pours

My basement flooded.

Yeah.

I’m now the proud owner of an emergency sump pump (I got one of the last ones at Home Depot–there were a lot of desperate looking people there), my couch and my washer/dryer are up on cinder blocks, and I’ve got to make another stop and rent out a Rug Doctor so I can soak up more of the water.

I’m on call tomorrow, so at least it happened today.

ETA: It’s been alternating thunderous downpour for 10 minutes, followed by drizzle for 5, rinse and repeat for that last 2 hours. My home teachers helped me out earlier this evening and we got the water drained out of the window sill, but it’s filled up again and the little waterfall into my basement has spurted to life again. So far, my drain has continued to work, but there’s water dripping from the wash room now as well. I didn’t bother going to get the water sucker vacuum; weather.com is predicting this same weather for the next 2 days and I’ll just save my money until there’s a chance I can dry things up.

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31st May 2008

decisions decisions

So, I am trying to decide how to best spruce up my backyard.

I have this little patio area (pictured here from when the previous owners had it all cute) that is just begging to have some lounging furniture. But alas, I am torn. Do I go for a hammock that can sway gently in the breeze, or do I go for a porch swing? I’ve always wanted a swing. Some of my favorite memories are relaxing on my grandmother’s front porch swing, watching the swallows swoop in and out with food for their babies. But then those memories are tangled with the memories of drifting in the hammock that Liz brought back from Uruguay (until the stupid neighbors stole the ropes we used to tie it to the tree) on warm summer afternoons. So obviously I can’t make this decision based solely on nostalgia. 🙂

My friends last night were also talking about this ceramic fire pit that they had purchased and I almost instantly had visions of a little firepit in my backyard as well. That one is an easy decision; I’m getting one this afternoon. 🙂

I really want to go camping this afternoon. It’s warm enough and should still be in the 50s overnight. Maybe I’ll give some of my girl friends a call up and see if they want to come.

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8th December 2007

Proud mama…

Introducing my new baby,

Came into the world at 39 pounds and after a few hiccuping cries, roared to life and is already spurting snow like it was creamed peas.

Mama’s very happy.

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3rd December 2007

lazy days

I woke up late for this morning. I was so exhausted after my shoveling efforts that when I finally went to bed (Erika invited me over for dinner and to decorate her Christmas tree. We watched Pride and Prejudice (the 1995 version of course) and ate really really good food. Worth being extra tired), I slept through both of my alarm clocks and woke up at 7:30. I should have been to work at 7. Big, big oops. I threw clothes on and threw myself out the door. WIth teeth unbrushed and hair that had not been washed for two days (remember, I was post call yesterday). Ugh. I managed to snag one of the cheap disposable toothbrushes provided for the patients (I don’t know why more of our patients don’t leave AMA after we give them those toothbrushes! My gums hurt so badly!) so I didn’t overwhelm those in close vicinity. But I still felt gross.

Luckily, we had 1 patient that we had admitted overnight, and didn’t round until after 9. After I discharged home that one guy, I slipped away and took a shower in the residents’ call rooms, and felt so much better. But seriously, having time to take a shower on an ICU rotation?!? Something is extremely wrong with that scenario! I got all but 1 of my 15 dictations done, though, so that’s also good. I have my semiannual review tomorrow with my program directors, so at least I’ve minimized the chastisement on that. We’ll see about the clinic notes and lecture attendance!

Of course, I’m on call again tomorrow. Of the 11 Tuesdays since I got on the neuro rotations in October, I’ve been on call for 8 of them. Never mind that there are at least 6 other juniors taking call each month. Don’t know whether I should bring this up at my interview tomorrow, as it is ultimately the chief resident’s responsibility to make the schedule, but this is definitely a good portion of why I’ve been less than happy on neuro.

On the bright side, I have the next 6 weekends off! That’s something to look forward to!

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12th November 2007

flirt flirt flirt

Highlights of my weekend:

  • Getting lost in a town of about 2000 people. Three times. (Even funnier is the fact that I got lost in the same town two months ago when I went to the medicine retreat).
  • Arriving (finally) at the cabin, and realizing that David (aka DateBoy) was there who I hadn’t seen/talked to since the date. He jumped up to talk to me very shortly afterwards. Very cute. I think there were some pretty intense eye connections during the weekend. *squashes optimism*
  • Jared (in the middle of a conversation with two other people): “You look really cute today. That outfit, your hair, the glasses… yeah.”
    Me (staring and blushing, because yes, this is the same Jared: Um, thanks *am lame*

  • The first five minutes of Transformers. Which as a movie, is almost as lame as me. 🙂 *pounds down optimism*
  • Aaron has the prettiest teeth.
  • Tramping out into the woods to star gaze with Tracy and Jonathan.
  • Pajamas and gossip while lying in sleeping bags. Haven’t done that since girls camp.
  • Early morning walk, kicking the leaves and enjoying the sunshine as it filtered through the trees. It may have only been 100 yards from the freeway, surrounded by summer homes, but at least I could pretend that I was in “nature.”
  • The best breakfast I’ve ever had. The eggs! *mouth waters*
  • A rambling but short walk in the woods with David who referred to our date a total of three different times. Because of that, I asked him over for Thanksgiving dinner, which may or may not happen. *stomps on optimism*
  • Giggling, laughing bonding with some of the most wonderful people around. I love my ward!

(For a glimpse of the weekend, see here. There may or may not be photographic evidence of my date.)

****
The other highlights of my weekend included being on call. With a migraine so severe that I almost started vomiting during a physical exam. Luckily, I managed to get some tylenol, ibuprofen and aleve AND take a short nap at 9 pm (until one of the patients decided to develop a heart attack and demand my attention). The night was busier and I only got another hour of sleep, but at least I wasn’t overwhelmed. It was manageable. I like manageable.

Oh, and I bought new curtains for my living room, a dark red that is thin enough to allow the summer light through, but thick enough for privacy. Once the room gets painted on Saturday, I think it’s going to be gorgeous. I’m so excited.

And I got new pants. That too is very exciting.

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28th August 2007

purpose to the overworked life

It’s rather comforting to know that I spent enough time doing call last year, that even after not doing it for two months, it all comes back. Of course, still haven’t had to run a code *knocks fervantly on wood…except I need the experience…so maybe I should be wanting it*

Have I mentioned recently how much I love the ICU? Seriously, this is going to be one tough month (I already inherited one of the sickest patients on our service), but oh, it’s going to be good. Procedures (I may get to intubate!), very knowledgable nurses, and an unbelievably fabulous team. Two of my favorite residents from last year are on the team and now we’re collegues, rather than resident/intern, so it’s even more fun. Right now, Sonja and I are watching House. If only things were like a tv show.

Orkin came by and evaluated my house, did I mention that? Two small holes, no evidence of mice inside the house, and certainly no enough for me to justify the expense of having them come every two months. So I cancelled the service. I have to patch the holes myself, and there’s been a mouse spotted, running across my back door, so the sooner that gets done, the sooner I’ll be able to rest in peace. I’m just glad that I was overreacting. 🙂

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21st August 2007

do I twist or do I fold

When my family came and visited, I introduced my sister to Doctor Who. She watched the whole first season while she was here and then, I, being the wonderful sister that I am, lent her the second season. She finished it, loved it appropriately and mailed it to me last Tuesday. Priority. It’s now A WEEK LATER and I still don’t have it.

!!!!

I’m about to start a search party. With torches and flyers. Who’s with me? My poor DVDs. Luckily, she insured them, but, oh my babies! *sniff* I’m going through withdrawals! I tried to watch my X-Files DVDs last night to make up for the loss, but I’m on the early part of season 4 and the episode was Home, which I have to fastforward anyhow because it’s too disturbing (I’d skip it entirely, but it has some of the best Mulder/Scully snark of the entire season) and it just didn’t make me feel light hearted and schmoopy. And I’m in the mood for some DW schmoopiness. Either that or dance movies. I got a hankering to do a Strictly Ballroom/Shall We Dansu/Shall We Dance (should I add in Havana Nights, Liz?) marathon. I’m not entirely sure what’s wrong with me.

****

It’s my last week on the “easy rotations,” my last weekend free for 3 months. I’m looking forward to next month, I’ll be in the medical ICU, but it will be Q4 call and they will be very busy calls and very long hours, so it’ll be back to the grind. I just got an email with the 18 page orientation document. 18 pages of “Thou Shall Not’s” which is just succeeding in making me irate. Nothing like treating a bunch of professional physicians as junior high schools, where we’re threatened with “disciplinary action” if we miss a conference.

Oh and to add to the fun, I’ll be taking Step 3 the day after I finish the rotation. The day after. When I tried to register for it this month, they were completely booked, I even looked as far as Urbana Ill and nothing. So, all of my free time this next month will be spent craming. Even more fun! Oh, and I’m still doing the whole application thing for my license. Yeah, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed.

I’m off to the gym, as my attendance will be sharply decreasing next month. I was doing great, down another pound, until this morning, when I stepped onto the scale and it put me back to my starting weight. The scale has been banished forthwith.

ETA: So as I step out of my house to go to the gym, I catch a flicker of movement. Tiny movement. Of a mouse scampering into the foliage right next to my house. And of course, right next to the sidewalk to my garage. I already battled a huge moth in the shower today (in the shower!!) and lost, so I’ve been a little edgy most of today. So I ran down my sidewalk to my car, having these horribly fantasies that the mice are invading my house–I haven’t seen any evidence of them inside, and I’ve had enough mouse problems in the past that I know what to look for… but, I don’t know how that moth got inside either.

Continuing. I get back from working out, open up my garage door, and there, on my sidewalk, is a huge, dead squirrel. The size of a toy dog. Dead. I don’t know if it got poisoned or missed a limb, but it’s dead. Right outside my garage. I let out a shrink, slammed the door and am now parked out front and sitting on the couch shuddering.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t touch rodents. I can’t. Live, dead, it doesn’t matter. Irrational, I know, but I’m afraid that they’re going to jump at me. I guess I’m going to have to be girly and see if my next door neighbor can help me out. Either that or one of the church guys. And I think I’m going to have to get a visit from the Orkin man, because I am not having a mouse infestion this winter. Anybody have any experience with a pest controller, as in a price range?

ETA #2 And it’s supposed to down pour tonight. Which means I’ll have soggy squirrel to deal with in the morning. Oh, and my trash is being emptied in the morning, which would be an ideal time to get rid of the thing. If I could just force myself to get rid of it! *cries*

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7th July 2007

Picture collage meme redux

My parents and sister will be arriving either early this morning or sometime tomorrow. I have my entire house to clean and arrange and basically unpack (it takes some of us a while… like a year).

Am I?

Nope. Instead, I’m doing fun memes like this. I did this one two years ago, but my friendslist has changed enough that nobody is recognizable anymore. And I must say, even though I went on a friending spree and added a whole bunch of lovely Dr. Who enthusiasts *waves*, they didn’t overwhelm it quite as much as I thought they were going to.

Pictures of my LiveJournal Friends

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1st January 2007

Year end, year begins… reflections

The year of 2006 is now dead, settled into his grave, as the New Year now takes over reign. But, as is my nature, I could hardly let him go without a eulogy.

Highlights, month by month (with pictures! Lots and lots and lots of pictures)

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31st October 2006

The coat of many colors

Painting my house has turned into a bigger chore than I had initially anticipated. Natch.

Remember that I stated that I was painting my house because the walls in the office bedroom was peeling? Yeah, well, I’ve peeled away the big areas, sanded down the entire thing, washed the walls, started to tape it … and realized that more areas were peeling. Yep. The entire paint job has to go.

So I go and buy paint solvent (after spending numerous hours slowly scrapping away the paint) and spray it on. The reason the paint is peeling? Because there are at least five layers, five layers of paint underneath. The bottom layer, as far as I can tell is a salmon color. But it’s going to require lots and lots of paint solvent and very slow dissolving of all of the layers. Not to mention that it’s most likely lead based paint at the bottom, so I’m probably going to have all kinds of neurological deficits.

The good news is that I have painted my kitchen. And it’s pretty. Pictures will be forth coming when I get everything put back together again. And I think I’ve made new friends with this project, so there is always a bright side.

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25th October 2006

all the colors of the sky

I think it’s going to snow. It certainly is cold enough.

Of course, I could be wrong. I thought the same thing, looking out the window near the ICU, only, it was over a 100 degrees and August outside. The air conditioner, which works too well on some hallways, confused me. The people around me must have thought I was insane as I burst out laughing at my mistake.

Things are pretty good around here. I have to leave for a shift in the ER in a couple of hours, and I’m off to take a nap, but I thought I’d say hi, since you know it’s been a while.

I spent the day looking at paint swatches and I think I have finally, finally decided how I’m going to paint my house. I’ve hemmed and hawed about it, because the paint job from the last owners hasn’t been too awful… except that the paint is peeling off in my office (top coat is a creamy off white, underneath is “apple blossom green” and quite overwhelming) and staring at the patches has motivated me.

(For help in picturing what it all looks like, the pics to my house are still up at http://jcd1013.lotrinklings.net/house/house.html)

Details for those curious

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2nd September 2006

wanna hear a scary story?

Someone rang my doorbell and then walked into my house about a half hour ago. I’m still a little jumpy over it.

It’s okay, I’m okay, ’twas my neighbor’s friends who apparently got the houses confused… but I had been downstairs watching X-Files episodes, and it’s been long enough since I watched them that I was already on edge. And it was my own stupid fault… I had been out on my front porch sweeping it a bit (my place is looking a little worn down because I haven’t had time to mow or anything), and didn’t lock the door when I came back in. I think I’ve cured myself of that little slippage.

Anyway, I ran upstairs, yelling. I honestly don’t know what possessed me to do that, except the thought that if somebody was robbing me/waiting to rape me, I’d make enough of a ruckus to bring everybody in the neighborhood over. *shudders* They had left by the time I got up there, which is a good thing–I think I would have had a heart attack if I had actually seen somebody in my house.

I will not be telling this story to my parents. I can’t even imagine their freakoutage. But I am putting bats/heavy objects on the “to buy” list to keep by my doors.

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28th August 2006

these elusive posts

I haven’t posted much this last month, have I?

It’s been a hard month in ways that have been difficult to put down on paper (er, virtual paper). Work has been overwhelming, in many ways. New hospital, new system, new attendings, new colleagues, and new service, as I’ve been working as a neurology resident this month, rather than medicine. Calls have been hard. Every fourth night, up all night, getting paged on three different pagers all at the same time over and over and over. Having an extremely busy service, which means less time to study and learn, so that I felt even more stupid than usual. Being 2 years since my last neurology rotation, so even though once upon a time, I actually knew this stuff inside and out, it’s gone now.

My first call night, I seriously reconsidered my decision to do neurology and internal medicine. Hated neuro, loathed the call, but I survived it.

I’ve had that thought a half dozen times now, and it hasn’t necessarily been a light hearted “I wonder if” kinda of thought. It’s been the “I wonder if I go and talk to the director, I can get out of this” kind of thought. It’s probably due to exhaustion. But I’m facing a 5 year stent of exhaustion and if I can’t handle the first months…

I’ve persevered and have decided that I definitely need more exposure (and rotations with a different resident, because I think my senior resident tainted my perspective) before really making the decision. But it’s never a good thing to find yourself in the middle of a life crisis–in the middle of responsibilities with no place to run.

And I don’t mean to suggest that all is bad. Far from it, I’ve had some excellent days. I have great patients right now and I’ve discovered that I still love wokring in the ICU and the ICU especially seems like the perfect place to combine neuro and medicine in the ways that I want… It’s more the thought of surviving the neuro residency which is much more overwhelming than I thought it was going to be. I was on call last night… we admitted 4 patients, had 3 consults (other services wanting our opinion on their patients), saw another patient and transferred them to another service, and admitted another to the NICU (neuro ICU). On top of this, I was taking calls from patients of the neuro attendings (who don’t have a freaking answering service, so it’s the extremely ignorant interns like myself who are fending calls on very complex patients), and managing the 30 or so patients on the floor and ICU. I’m getting more used to it, and I had an excellent resident to work with, who really made my workload easier. But I still filled up 2 of the 3 pagers, one of them I had to clean off twice.

Next month will be better. I’ll be solely in the NICU (part of the problem with this month is that the first part of the month I spent in the ICU and the second part I’ve been on the general neuro team. And they both require some adjustment!), and I won’t be taking call. AND, I have most weekends off. AND I have a week of vacation (9 days straight). Maybe that’s why I keep thinking it’s September, because, I really, really, really want it to be.

****
On a completely different subject…

I’m really in the mood for a layout change to my LJ. After seeing juno_magic‘s incredible lovely layout, mine has looked blah and uninteresting. But I don’t have time to (re)learn the CSS code and play with it, or design the background (still wanting Anne, just don’t know which one. Collage of Anne and Diana? Pretty PEI pictures? Mushy Anne/Gilbert? Autumn themed to get me in the mood?), which leaves me in this state of perpetual longing and frustration that I can’t figure it out. *sigh* Maybe that will be one of my vacation goals.

****
My raspberry bush is getting a second batch of fruit! Yay! I had fresh raspberries every day for the month of July, I hope that this batch last as long. Have I mentioned that it was the raspberry bush that convinced me that this place was supposed to be mine? It is such a delight to go out and pick the berries and plop them in my mouth–and then smile condescending to the poor saps in the grocery store who are paying $4 a carton for not as good berries (of course, when you think of it, I paid a LOT more for the privilege of mine, but I think there are other perks with my purchase. 🙂 ) Next year, I’ll be planting strawberries, I do hope they do as well.

****
Anybody out there who has a webcam? And uses a PC? I’m trying to see if iChat will allow me to webcam with someone who isn’t using iChat, but still is on AIM. If you do and would be willing to experiment, let me know. Chris is talking about getting one and I gotta make sure that if he did, I could actually talk with him.

****
I’m needing a new computer. My dear Flower Power iMAc has been a faithful companion for five years now, but I’ve filled up just about all of the memory and she is starting to creak–I can’t burn CDs any more, except at a snail’s pace, web browsing is slow, etc. It’s also becoming an issue of incompatibility–the Internal Medicine dept. gave me a Pocket PC that is virtually useless, because I can’t get it to synch with my computer and unfortunately, the hospital is all PC based, and so I haven’t been able to access some programs that I had hoped to. I’ve been strongly tempted to get a MacBookPro, which would solve all of those issues with the duel boot capabilities, but it’s so expensive and I’d be saving my pennies for a long time before I could afford it. A little iBook I could get now and would for the most part do just great. Decisions, decisions.

And I think that’s the end of the update with my boring little life. Hope all is going well with you. I’ve missed my interactions with you, the little chats and mingling of our lives. You are all in my thoughts.

*hugs*

Online Friendship

The true friends who we meet online
are a very special kind
They pierce your shields and see within
the corners of your mind
They’re always there when you’re in need
with their power to discern
They feel your pain………..they offer hope
and genuine concern
We bare our souls, expose our hearts
and show our inner fears
and then before you know it
the keyboard’s stained with tears
And if we could see them through that screen
then no one could deny
that to be a TRUE online friend
they too must surely cry.

~Author Unknown~

(A wee bit sappy, but I had to share. And the sentiments apply to my RL friends, which I hope they know.)

posted in Uncategorized | 12 Comments

1st July 2006

moved

Still don’t have internet access at home, hence the long absence.

But I’m moved, my house is great (with a few annoying quirks that I’ll detail in the future), I finished my training yesterday. And today…

I became a Real Doctor. Actually I’m more like Pinoccio when he was still wooden, and not quite the Real Boy. I’m kinda missing the strings.

I will be busy for the next bit, trying to figure things out. Being an intern is very stressful. This morning, I felt like the biggest idiot (and probably was), and it’ll take some time to get over that.

*sigh* It gets downright depressing when I think how busy I’m going to be, compared to the relative ease that I’ve had the last several months. And the worst is there’s no end in site, just one day after another.

Sorry for not replying on the goings on in your life. It’s going to be some time before I can be as actively involved as I was before. *sigh again*

posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

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    • Books read October-December 01/01/2024
      My goal was to read 120 books this year. I just finished number 129. (Some of these I reviewed as part of my WWW posts). October: Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt. I had high expectations for this book, as it had been so praised, and I felt let down by it. Still enjoyable, […]