Word of the day
Scrofula
(1) a form of tuberculosis infection, characterized by swollen cervical (neck) lymph nodes and glands.
(2) A term of endearment, used by uncle doctor and family, when kids, dog, etc. are misbehaving.
(3) Julia’s first experience with getting pimped. Her definition, since she and her uncle were talking about the dog who was wrecking havoc in the garden, “a play on words with Dracula (you know, like the book, Bunnicula).” Uncle Doctor laughed and quickly pointed out her errors in thinking, continuing “what are they teaching you in that medical school.” It was a joke. I think.
This is what my life starting in July is going to be like. Looking like an idiot because I don’t know the answers to anything. I don’t know anything. Nothing. I can’t tell you about any drugs, any diseases. It’s not what they’re teaching, it’s how little I’m remembering. Two years and I’m still clueless. And it’s going to become painfully obviously when I get to the wards that they should have let in that white Mormon boy from BYU instead of trying for diversity. Oh, the legislature and their little auditors will just love this.
Honestly, remind me again why I’m doing this?
Let continue the whining rants, shall we: I’m tired, I’m getting sick with what I’ve been told is a really nasty cold going around, I stared at the computer screen of the next chapter of LNB for four hours today and didn’t write a single word… instead, I deleted some and realized that I still haven’t figured out what Jess would say as a greeting on the phone. I haven’t talked to my best friend in over 2 months, I’m tired of being single and having no prospects, and the thought that I’m 25 and still end up carpooling and bumming rides from friend-who-is-sick-of-being-my-chaffeur, because my sister is unable to walk the four blocks to where she works. Let’s add in the guilt from when I talk to parents–whom at the age of 25 I’m still dependent on because I’m going to medical school and making absolutely no money–about said car situation and they try to figure out ways to buy other car, when they have absolutely no money because they are supporting me through medical school. I’m selfish, and whiny, and not acting like the mature adult that I ought to be.
I so just want to run away right now.
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Sorry to hear you’re not feeling too well Julia, I hope that you get better soon. And geeze, do I know how you feel about the car situation. I’m a 24 year-old guy who hasn’t driven a day in his life and depends on the bus and rides from others to get around town. I’m finally going to go get my temps soon because the bus system is cutting back to pithy levels and doesn’t go everywhere I want it to, and I think everyone’s getting sick of me asking for a ride *g*.
Basically, you’re in good company and aren’t the only selfish immature adult around here ;). I want more, more, more all the time.
I’ll try to help you out with a Jess phone greeting with LTB, I’m thinking four things off hand;
“Hey”
“Yo”
“What’s up?”
“Jess here”
I can’t see him using ‘hello’, and I suspect he’s like Luke with phones, i.e. he uses them as little as possible. So he’s probably very casual about his greetings. JMO though.
So glad that I have company with the car thing! Ah, the buses are my friend…
Can I ask why you’ve never driven?
Thanks so much for your suggestions. The scene is actually one where Jess is calling Rory (and ends up talking to Paris instead), so figuring out how he would start a conversation has just driven me batty. I think I like the “yo” and can work in some testy Paris with it too. If you have any more, I’d love to hear them!
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🙁
I’m sorry you’re so down. Sounds like you need a vacation from your vacation.
Just think: At the end of this, you get to be Dr. Julia.
You know it’s getting pathetic when you start wondering if the title of Dr. Julia is worth it.
No, it’s not even that. I still love medicine. We studied repro last week and it was fascinating, how we’ve discovered how all the hormones and chemicals work in our bodies, and how we’ve formulated birth control to manipulate that… I found it really cool.
It’s just that I’m starting to get scared. Really scared. 3rd year was that black cloud on the horizon, the year that everybody spoke about with dread, where you get no sleep, yelled at frequently and a lot of responsibility placed on your clueless shoulders. And now, that horizon is getting really big… This next part is where I have to prove that I’ve actually learned something, in a high-stress situation… First the boards, where I have to reguritate everything, and then on rotations where I’m going to be with doctors who are TRYING to mess me up. It’s frightening and I’m really starting to freak myself out.
Ah, well, I feel more collected, now that I’m not running that bit of fever and my ears are no longer plugged, so maybe it won’t be as bad as I’m fearing.
Make you wanna reconsider? 🙂
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I’m sure what you’re feeling isn’t uncommon. It’s very infamous that becoming a doctor is long and strenous. You certainly shouldn’t feel ashamed that you’re feeling tired. You’re allowed to be tired.
Just think of how much is behind you though! I know it’s stressful, but hopefully you can enjoy what little is left. 🙂
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*hugs*
Hope you feel better soon.
Aw, thanks Ellie!
I feel much better. My throat isn’t as swollen and my ears aren’t clogged and no fever! Things always look better when you’re not sick!