Taken from donnazita. It’s all her fault!

If you could say something to ten guys in your past, what would you say?

1. Michael from the first grade. I just remember chasing you around the playground, screaming you had cooties. Sadly, I don’t think my pursuant skills have improved that much. Honestly, I don’t think there’s much that I want to talk to you about–it took me a lot of scrounging around in my brain to even produce your name, but hey, you’re making me nostalgic!

2. Terrill – You were my first best friend and my first crush. At the age of 8. You played piano, created forts, and had that dark hair/blue eyes that I’ve always been such a sucker for. I still remember chasing you in a park, the only way that I knew to express those childish emotions. Ah, if only I hadn’t moved… (He’s now married, and last I heard has reproduced at least once.)

3. Rhett/Charley/Doug/Scott/Jason – Yeah, you all deserve a clump, because frankly, I’d rather just sweep you up and throw you away. But I never have gotten the chance to say this (and you should be grateful that I am much too nice of a person to use stronger words): Bastards. From the first moment that I stepped into that town, you made it your life’s work to torment, mock, belittle me, and it was only the presence of my parents as school teachers that prevented you from doing more. I hated you and until then, I had never hated anyone. And it’s because of you that it took me years in college to learn how to walk down a sidewalk, see a group of guys and not “suddenly” decide to take a shortcut through the trees. Or even have a conversation with a guy, without tensing up, wondering when it was going to start. It’s lucky that I’m as normal that I am, but you know what? I’m strong, better than the whole lot of you and you certainly weren’t enough to keep me down.

4. Erik. The end all of crushes. I adored you from that moment in eighth grade, when you came back with sun-bleached hair and pictures from Norway–you were exotic, and more importantly, you were nice and sweet. I was lost from the first smile. No matter how hard I tried, you were the one I couldn’t get over. You were everything that I wanted, from your zany sense of humor to your solid spirituality. I loved you and I will always be grateful that you were never, not even in the slightest, mean. And to someone who thinks that Alzheimer’s disease attacking the memories of high school wouldn’t be a bad thing, that means a lot.

5. Mark. My one and only stupid joint experience – the almost kiss (probably was unlikely, but it was the closest I’ve ever come!), brought about by a fist fight, a “dark and stormy night” which knocked out the power, and a very late night massage. Do you ever wonder what would have happened, if you hadn’t had such breath problems (curdling milk is such a turn off!), and I hadn’t been so aware of the fact that you were a player and would only be left with morning after guilt? And don’t you think it’s a little bit funny, that you ended up marrying one of my med school classmates and we bump social circles once in a while? Of course, since you refuse to even acknowledge me – something that you perfected since that night, I guess it’s never crossed your mind.

6. Oliver. There’s probably an entire entry of stuff I want to say to you. And it’s a lot less than what I would have said 2 years ago. I’m still mad at you. See here’s the thing. You were my friend. At one time, I considered you my best friend. I relied on you for your support, your love. Part of it was my fault–I get that. I get that I fell for you hard–harder than I should have and was probably heavy-handed in my ways of dealing with that (I haven’t gotten better since the first grade), but you chose to walk out of my life. To ignore me. To move and not tell me. Remember the last time I saw you? I asked you to a movie, AI, but you had already seen it, so we met up for dinner at The Pie. And we talked and laughed and talked. And you hugged me, and it was like old times, before it got crazy with Liz and Liz II and whatever Mrs. Robinson’s name was. I was happy then–happy because I thought I had my friend back… You always could delude me. Right now, I want you to sit and listen. Because your actions have made me doubt every friendship that I’ve had since then. I wonder when they’re just going to slip from my life without a care or thought. Did you ever truly care? Or was it all illusion?

7. Marshmallow-boy. I don’t even remember your name anymore, isn’t that sad? But you’re here for completeness sake. My first memory of you? You calling me wings (I had just had surgery on my shoulder) as we walked out of class and I had no idea who you were. Then realizing shortly afterwards when I walked into lab that you sat right in front of the door and that I had been completely blind. You were gorgeous. Really. A greek god with the body of a latin lover. You were every one of my ideals come to life and my first crush after the Oliver debacle (which probably explains my blindness), which is probably what I’d tell you. Thank you, thank you for being such a good distraction. You made me laugh, and since I spent so many of those months in tears, that’s impressive. And you were sincerely nice. It’s just too bad we never really clicked, huh?

8. Matt the first. I went 3 years without any kind of love interest at all. And then you walked into my life. Several times, before I noticed you, actually. All I really want to know from you: that summer, when we spent hours talking and ate lunch together, and before I did my best to smother and scare you away, did you ever even consider dating me? I know that the major majority of the time, I’m transferring my feelings onto my prey … but I still swear that there was something there. If only for a short time. And I’d really like to know once and for all.

9. Chris. You’re getting a big head, just by being on this list … and I also see you starting to back up. Stop that. You know it isn’t like that. I probably will never understand why you’re my friend (btw, why did you choose two years ago to get to know me??) and why you always stick by my side, but I’m grateful enough not to complain. I’ve missed you this year. It’s been hard adjusting to only seeing you once in a while, but I really love our occasional lunches together and thank you for the motivation to get to the gym–even though I feel entirely ridiculous exercising next to you. I’m so happy for you and Melissa, but, Chris? I’m still not hearing the invitation to be your best man. Do I have to wrestle it out of you?

10. The Current Boy *sigh* You weren’t supposed to infect me this much, you know. I was perfectly content with thinking you were cute and funny–eye-candy, nothing more, just like your roommate. But you’re contagious, and before you knew it, I had a full-blown case of The Crush. Give me a chance. That’s all I’m asking. I really really like you and I think that you could like me too. Be the guy like all in all the movies and books, and see the girl that nobody else does. Just see me. That’s all. I’ve embarrassed myself enough here.