I was going to write a very happy post about the joys of having your best friend come home three days early…

Of getting the chance to go to all of the “last time” places that you were going to miss because the best friend was gone…

Like Thai food. And Indian food. And today’s treat: real English afternoon tea, with sandwiches and scones and little chocolates (not to mention tea)…

Or the banquet tonight, held in honor of the graduates…

Where I was presented with an award for “distinguished service” (I apparently volunteered a lot. I guess all of those Saturday mornings were worth something)…

And the laughter and hugs with some very good friends that I’ve made in med school. Fellow classmates… spouses… single… married…

And the thought that I was one of the few who had become friends with all sorts of the “cliques” (yes, Virginia, they still exist in med school) and feeling quite good about that…

But I just got back from the “after banquet” party, and after sitting on the fringe, getting left out of conversation after conversation… and hearing hints (and blatant remarks) about parties and gatherings that I haven’t been invited too…

And feeling, once again, overwhelmed by the thought that this, all of this is ending and I’m leaving and I have to say goodbye…

That good feeling has dissipated, and I wish it would come back.