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18th May 2006

left behind

posted in Uncategorized |

I was going to write a very happy post about the joys of having your best friend come home three days early…

Of getting the chance to go to all of the “last time” places that you were going to miss because the best friend was gone…

Like Thai food. And Indian food. And today’s treat: real English afternoon tea, with sandwiches and scones and little chocolates (not to mention tea)…

Or the banquet tonight, held in honor of the graduates…

Where I was presented with an award for “distinguished service” (I apparently volunteered a lot. I guess all of those Saturday mornings were worth something)…

And the laughter and hugs with some very good friends that I’ve made in med school. Fellow classmates… spouses… single… married…

And the thought that I was one of the few who had become friends with all sorts of the “cliques” (yes, Virginia, they still exist in med school) and feeling quite good about that…

But I just got back from the “after banquet” party, and after sitting on the fringe, getting left out of conversation after conversation… and hearing hints (and blatant remarks) about parties and gatherings that I haven’t been invited too…

And feeling, once again, overwhelmed by the thought that this, all of this is ending and I’m leaving and I have to say goodbye…

That good feeling has dissipated, and I wish it would come back.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 18th, 2006 at 11:09 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

5 Comments


  • Warning: file_get_contents(http://juno_magic.livejournal.com/profile): failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 403 Forbidden in /home/lotrinkl/www/redheadsnippet/wp-content/plugins/also-lj-avatar/also-lj-avatar.php on line 118
    juno_magic@livejournal says:

    *hugs*

    “Steps” by Hermann Hesse may cheer you up:

    As every blossom fades
    and all youth sinks
    into old age,
    so every life’s design,
    each flower of wisdom,
    every good attains its prime
    and cannot last forever.
    In life, each call the heart
    must be prepared courageously
    without a hint of grief,
    submit itself to other new ties.
    A magic dwells in each beginning,
    protecting us
    tells us how to live.

    High purposed we must traverse
    realm on realm,
    cleaving to none as to a home,
    the world of spirit
    wishes not to fetter us
    but raise us higher,
    step by step.
    Scarce in some safe
    accustomed sphere of life
    have we establish a house,
    then we grow lax;
    only he who is ready
    to journey forth
    can throw old habits off.
    Maybe death’s hour too
    will send us out new-born
    towards undreamed-lands,
    maybe life’s call to us
    will never find an end
    Courage my heart,
    take leave and fare thee well.


  • Warning: file_get_contents(http://shirerain.livejournal.com/profile): failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 403 Forbidden in /home/lotrinkl/www/redheadsnippet/wp-content/plugins/also-lj-avatar/also-lj-avatar.php on line 118
    shirerain@livejournal says:

    *enfolds you in hugs*

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