30th
September
2006
I’ve got that bleak, almost sick feeling to my stomach tonight. Guilt. About everything that I should have done with the accident yesterday and didn’t. Worry that it’s going to mess everything up with my insurance. Even though there’s nothing that I can do about it now, it still is making me ill.
Add to the fact that Chris now tells me that he’ll be gone 3-4 days of the week that I’m going home. He forgot when I was coming, even though I’ve told him every time I’ve talked to him the last month. Lonely. And Liz will be gone for a few days as well. I wonder why I’m even bothering going. I’ve been looking forward to this, forever, finally being home and with the people that I’ve missed and it’s not going to be anything.
New rotation tomorrow. ER. Haven’t exactly decided if I’m looking forward to it or not. Lots of days off. 8 hour shift work, both are pluses. But it’ll be busy and stressful. And right now, I’m just not wanting that.
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30th
September
2006
My day started off with a bang… literally.
I made the awful mistake of stopping for an emergency vehicle with lights and sirens going…. and the car behind me ploughed into me.
Don’t worry, I’m fine (although a little stiff and achy in the neck and shoulders) and my car is mostly as well. The lady who hit me was pissed that I stopped (horrors! how dare I obey the law!). I in turn was pretty upset with her as well, as I ended up spending my morning trying to track down police stations (I was in a different city than I thought. Don’t ask. It’s confusing), and then the afternoon calling my insurance. Not a pleasant start. I’m just so excited about the increased insurance premiums! And spending all of my free time getting estimates and filing traffic accidents.
Suffice it to say, it was a learning experience.
The rest of the day was pretty good. Well, seeing as three patients died (mostly expected, and it’s a good thing in all cases, to help the families say goodbye), probably good wouldn’t be the word you’d use to describe it, but I had a good time. It was my last day, though, the end of my ICU rotations, at least for a while and it was hard to say goodbye. My attending, the one I’ve worked the most with, and who I really admire for, told me I did an excellent job, and when I suggested that I was interested in doing ICU as a career, he did not heavily hint that I should pursue other ambitions. 🙂
Now I think I’m going to take some ibuprofen, heat up my nice lavendar and flax heating bag and get some sleep.
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