Dear Sore Throat

Go Away. Seriously. You have long outworn your welcome. I want to be able to swallow without feeling fire in my tonsils. I want to be able to breath without coughing hard enough that I actually vomit. I want to be able to sleep and wake up feeling human. And I want to be able to talk. That one’s kinda important; see my job requires that I ask people a lot of nosy questions and I can’t do that now with my little elderly and usually deaf patients.

And really, if you must crash here, you should have brought along your little friends, Fever, Lymphadenopathy, and Exudate, because then, I’d have the chance to take antibiotics and kill you dead. Instead you just leave me with a viral illness, sick enough to be completely miserable, but not sick enough to actually call in sick.

I hate you.

Julia