This was the poem for The Writer’s Almanac today. I’ve been tasting it in the back of my mind all day.

Dancing

by Margaret Atwood

It was my father taught my mother
how to dance.
I never knew that.
I thought it was the other way.
Ballroom was their style,
a graceful twirling,
curved arms and fancy footwork,
a green-eyed radio.

There is always more than you know.
There are always boxes
put away in the cellar,
worn shoes and cherished pictures,
notes you find later,
sheet music you can’t play.

A woman came on Wednesdays
with tapes of waltzes.
She tried to make him shuffle
around the floor with her.
She said it would be good for him.
He didn’t want to.

“Dancing” by Margaret Atwood, from Morning in the Burned House. Houghton Mifflin, 1995.

A recipe that I made tonight that was super yummy

So, how was your day?

On Saturday, as you now, I raked and raked and raked leaves. Then, after church yesterday, I came back home and raked leaves in the dark for another half hour. My lower back and shoulder was not happy with me. By the evening, they were both loudly protesting my mistreatment of them.

I could barely walk this morning. Acutally it was more the twisting out of bed that killed me. Once I started moving, it got better, but I couldn’t bend over or twist. Let’s not talk about the agony of getting up out of a chair.

I went to work to find that we, blessedly and blissfully, had a light service (I should know, I spent all of my time discharging them yesterday!) with no scheduled admissions, so I went home at noon, took some anti-inflammatory meds, and slept. I’m still in pain, mostly if I sit on the couch (hmm…), but it’s a little better. It’s so lovely to have an afternoon off, especially one where the sun was shiny (albeit briefly) and it’s 60 degrees outside. I just wish that I could have been able to put it to good use: done dishes or laundry or gone for a walk.

I hadn’t finished with all of my leaves (the joy of having 4 trees on my property!), but my friend, who really is one of the nicest people I know (even if she does fall prey to fad diets), came over this afternoon and finished raking them all to the street. There’s still some lingering leaves on the tree and some around my raspberry bush that if I feel especially motivated (and pain free!) later this week that I might try to collect, but oh, what a relief to not have to worry about this!

Website of the day: SparkPeople.com

Last night I was talking to a friend of mine who told me that while she was at home, she went on the “hCG Diet.” For those of you not in the know, this diet includes taking hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin is a protein that is produced by the uterus during pregnancy) and limiting one’s diet to 500 calories. She proudly stated that she had lost 15 pounds while she was at home (she gained 8 of it back within a week of stopping). I stared at her. She’s a physician-in-training and she is falling prey to these fad diets; it’s no wonder why the average overweight American desperate for an easy answer does the same (it also explains why I wasn’t surprised to see her Facebook status linking impending doom and gloom and (horrors!) socialized medicine because of the new legislature that was just passed. But that’s another blogging entry, which is coming up later this week, I think). I thought that we were past the days of severe, weird diets* (the grapefruit diet, anyone? The Juice diet? FenPhen?) and realized that the only way to lose weight was hard work: exercise, calorie restriction (there are still debates as to whether this means carbohydrates or fat. I’m a believer that it’s a little of both) and patience.

Confession: Four years ago, I woke up, stepped on the scale and realized that I had gone from being overweight in the BMI (body mass index) to obese. Not only that, I was severely out of shape, huffing and puffing and couldn’t keep up with my much more lean and well-build friend, Mr Ironman Chris. I monitored my calories, got a gym membership and worked out on a daily basis for 3 months and lost 15 pounds. Then the rest of third year med school happened. The exercise dwindled as I didn’t have time. I stopped bringing a lunch, because the hospitals provided free lunches of yummy noodles or Chinese food. By the end of the year, I had gained all of that weight back. And then a couple pounds more. And a couple more.

And then residency happened. Residency, where my free time was cut to next to nil, where my on-call food choices included chicken tenders or a beef wellington, where I learned to snarf down a meal in 3 minutes flat, because that was all the time I could spare. Not to mention the snacking: candy, chips, crackers, orange juice, etc, all used to keep me awake. I gained ten pounds my intern year. Last winter I hit my peak. 184 pounds. I can’t tell you how miserable I was. Due to the fact that I was sick the entire month of January, I managed to lose a little of the weight and slowly over the year, dropped a couple more.

I found a link browsing through an LJ community to a website where you could calculate the number of calories in any recipe. I was intrigued and started browsing around and was thus introduced to SparkPeople.com. I’m going to sound like a testimonial (and maybe even a Saturday afternoon infomercial), I apologize in advance, but I do realize that I have many friends out there who struggle with the weight and other friends who may be looking at just becoming more healthy all around.

Sparkpeople.com advertises itself as a “healthy-living” community and I think it lives up to its name. They have numerous articles about health, nutrition, exercise, that as far as I can see, are based on sound research and principles. There’s a nutrition tracker, where you can enter in the foods that you’ve eaten for the day, and it breaks it down into the calories, protein, fat, and carbohydrates consumed (not to mention the 20 other nutrients that you can track). I love seeing the breakdown at the end of the day of where I met my goals, and where I went over (or under). Their diet is a lower-calorie diet, but one based on age and base metabolic rate (and one that you could adjust to your particular wants/desires) and created by a registered dietician. If you want, they provide a complete meal plan for the week with ingredients and recipes. You can track your exercise and find out exactly how many calories you consumed raking leaves for example.

The best part, I think, is their very active online community. This week, I joined a holiday weight-loss challenge ala The Biggest Loser and have already met a woman who’s doing a neurology residency as well. I also found a Lord of the Rings group, where their challenge was to “Walk to Rivendell” which got me excited to get on my elliptical.

My only beef about the site is that each time you click on a link, it opens a new window. And I wish it was more like a LJ community, as I don’t like message boards much. But I guess those are minor inconveniences to live with.

I’ve been a part of the group for about two months. The first month, I just explored, the second month I started recording everything I ate. I bought a new scale, a new lunchbox (which I’ve since lost but hope to find in the lost-and-found) and a little pedometer to help keep track. I’ve lost a couple of pounds and am now ten pounds lighter than I was a year ago. I flub on the diet (Halloween is a evil holiday, which has nothing to do with demons) and could definitely do better on the exercise portion, as I’m still a slug and have a hard time motivating myself to get up once I’ve planted roots on the couch after work. But I’m learning more about myself and making small changes and seeing small rewards.

Part of the reason that I’m confessing this is because I need support. I need people to say “so, how’s those lifestyle changes going?” “what’s the weight loss this week?” and keep me on target, especially during the holidays. My ultimate weight loss goal is fairly modest, 30 pounds, which will put me right on the cusp of normal weight/overweight and is a goal that I think is reachable. I do have one reward in mind, if I make my goal: the Nikon 35mm f1.8G af-s lens. I’ve been admiring this baby for months now. I’m hopeful that by June, it’ll be mine.

How about you? Are you making any life-style changes? Is there anything that motivates you to become more healthy?

*I guess I’m not that surprised. I had a patient ask me for a prescription for amphetamine for weight loss a couple of months ago. She didn’t understand why I said no.

I had hoped to persuade everybody into thinking that I had just turned over a new leaf and decided to get back into the blogging/journaling habit. Which I did, but with a little motivation from signing up to do the National Blog Posting Month. I had so much fun doing it last year and as I never have enough time/inspiration to do Nanowrimo (one day, when I’ve finally am done with all of the training – meaning when I retire when I’m 88 – I’m going to take November off and do it. One day….), this seemed like a good compromise. You all will be very bored of me come November 30th, but I do enjoy the creative outlet that this provides. I’ve really gotten out of the habit of blogging and it requires a lot of thought and effort to come up with something new to say every day.

***

Speaking of leaves, this is my hand

after raking for 2 hours this afternoon and I’m not even finished yet. I left a smallish pile on my front lawn, a larger pile near by side door and I still have to go back over the lawn to gather all of the residue which will probably equal another large pile. Right now, I hate trees. Especially maple trees that are persistently holding onto leaves and refusing to give into peer pressure, which means, if it doesn’t snow, I’ll have to rake again. My parents suggested hiring somebody to help me out. I’m considering it, except that I calculated the number of calories consumed: 590 calories. Maybe the blisters are worth it.

From the LJ writer’s block:

What is your all-time favorite, romantic movie scene? What about it speaks to you?

This was a doozy! I thought and contemplated. My answer changes with mood, I think. I have a list of favorite movies and scenes that I watch over and over for the butterfly feeling and on a given day, I might tell you a different answer as to what is my all-time favorite. North & South, with its tender moment of reunion and forgiveness? Anne of Green Gables? “All I want is you.” Persuasion with its reunion of two separated lovers? I browsed through the archived answers of other LJ users. First choice seems to be Titanic. Second choice was a tie between Notting Hill (I hated that movie), Love Actually (I’ve never seen it, but I’ve heard its good) or Casablanca (a very fine choice).

I looked through my own DVD collection. Besides my X-Files box sets, my DVDs are, surprising to no one, mostly period dramas and romantic comedies. Then my eyes alighted on today’s answer. Big Fish. Of course. I had to do a (very small) picspam (my first!), which took me all night.

SANDRA: Daffodils?
EDWARD: They’re your favorite flower.
SANDRA: How did you get so many?
EDWARD: I called everywhere in five states and explained this was the only way I could get my wife to marry me.
SANDRA: You don’t even know me.
EDWARD: I have the rest of my life to find out.

EDWARD: I was drying out.
SANDRA: I see. We need to get you one of those plant misters. We can spray you like a fern.

EDWARD: Come now.
SANDRA: I don’t think I’ll ever dry out.

I love the surreal, colorful fantasy that he spins when telling the story of how he fell in love with his wife, contrasted to the reality of decades of life together. Not a kiss to be seen, but I honestly can’t think of anything more romantic.

What about you? What’s your vote for the all-time romantic movie scene?

I’ve definitely mentioned this before, but I have the greatest group of friends from college ever. It’s been almost 13 years since I met them and the whole group of us (The Plethora) are as close as family. I’ve been there when they dated, married, finished school, started careers, had kids, who grew up and learned to read (geez). Having a Plethora reunion is as important when I go home as visiting my grandparents because I’ve missed being around them so much.

About a month ago, somebody brought up the idea of a road trip. We toyed with going to California or to Yellowstone, but decided that the drive was too long. (Did I mention the kids? The probably 15-18 kids that would be coming? Crazy). Tonight we decided: Durango, CO in July. Mountains, Mesa Verde and Anasazi ruins, Telluride. Sounds like heaven. Even with 15 kids either screaming or asking “are we there yet? I need to use the bathroom” the entire ride there.

I have to figure out some logistics such as flying to Denver or to SLC and how much time can I take off. And we’re still looking for vacation home rentals (so if any one has any hookups, let me know) and other monetary details.

Anybody ever been there before? Suggestions, recommendations for places to stay, see, eat? Survival tips for the spinster who is afraid that the trip will turn into a variation of “get off my lawn, you mangy kids”?

I’m so excited!

(Written earlier. I fell asleep.)

I’m not a fan of sleep-deprived nights. The last six hours when you’re just endlessly discussing patients and writing notes and ordering studies are the most painful, torturous time imaginable.

But there are some nice perks to having a post-call day. Especially one where you got sleep the night before (in bed by 1 am, slept until 7:30 with no pages. Excellent) and when your coresident is willing to cover your patients for the morning, which means you can leave before 9 am.

1. The post-call nap. Depending on how much sleep I’ve gotten, this ranges from an afternoon doze to an 18 hour passout when I only wake up because bodily functions demand it. But there’s something so wonderful of sliding in between sheets and snuggling into blankets when the sun is filtered through the blinds.

2. Brushing teeth. 30+ hours without brushing your teeth leaves an extremely grimy sensation and horrible breath. My electric toothbrush takes that all away and leaves me clean and shiny.

3. Turning off my pager and shoving it under piles so I don’t hear it.

4. Being away from the hospital for 18 hours.

5. Breakfast. Historically, I used to treat myself to waffles with strawberries and real whipped cream. Now I usually go for a omelet with spinach and mushrooms. But if I’m really really lucky, the cafeteria will serve cream of wheat and I’ll load it with brown sugar, raisins and strawberries. Mmmm.

I wish I could say that I was productive on my post-call days. But I’m not. As I stepped out of the hospital this morning, I contemplated finding a fancy stationery store, raking my leaves (but thank you rain for making that impossible!), doing dishes, etc. I researched afternoon tea parties and went to bed instead. I may do dishes later tonight, but that’s it. I honestly don’t know how my friends with kids do it, as they have all of this demand on their time when they go home and they’re lucky to get a nap in.

Random recommendation: White Collar on USA is a fun show. I really enjoyed the free download from iTunes. It may get me watching tv again (how weird would that be?). Did anybody check out V?

I know that this made the rounds on Facebook a few weeks ago, but it still makes me happy. 🙂

After my previous post of the Sound of Music and now this, can anyone doubt my love of synchronized dancing? Are there any other good ones out there? I wonder why I don’t know synchronized swimming as much?

I’m on call tonight. (2 more this month, yay!) One subarachnoid hemorrhage that I helped the poor little intern manage (first call nights on neuro are beastly) and another TIA, so not a bad night. One of my friends surprised me with cookies earlier this evening: warm, buttery, chocolate chip cookies. Definitely not good for my diet, but so yummy it may just be worth it. I may just have to go to bed with a glass of milk and cookies!

I was on call on Halloween (which surprisingly, for a Saturday call wasn’t too bad), so I missed out on most of the festivities. I haven’t been able to pass out candy ever to the little trick-or-treaters, not because I’m on call every October 31st, but because the city off Milwaukee designates a Sunday from 1 to 4 pm as official Trick or Treating time (how utterly lame).  Luckily, my church had their Halloween party on Friday, so I still got to celebrate the holiday of sweets. It was still a juggling act, because Chris and Gretchen flew into Milwaukee for the weekend, as they had tickets to the Farve vs Packers smackdown. I met them and Gretchen’s parents at the airport in my costume, we went out for a late dinner and then I left for the party. I almost didn’t go. It was getting late and call is difficult enough without being sleep-deprived. But it was all worth it.

Thanks to spring english country dancing, I had a costume already made. I officially went as Emma Woodhouse, although I don’t think she wore purple in the latest adaption (which, my friends, is completely fantastic and Jonny Lee Miller makes my knees wobble and I can’t stop gushing about it).

There was cotton candy and a costume contest (I lost, boo) and dancing in the garage to Thriller. Good times.

My favorite costume was this:

You can’t tell it from the picture, but she’s Medusa, complete with snakes for hair and eyes that turn you to stone. Awesome.

Full pictures, as always, are on my Picasa page here

I went to a hockey game last weekend between the Manitoba Moose (Meese! aww!) and the Milwaukee Admirals. As it was my first hockey game ever, this was a new and exciting experience! There was a pirate ship and everything!

And a pirate A Capella group that sang the national anthem and a ballad at half-time (probably not the best choice given the audience)

I’m not sure that hockey is my type of game. I couldn’t figure out why they kept exchanging players after only 1 minute of playing (anybody know?). They spent more time climbing over the bench than actually playing.

(Save, goalie, goalie, goalie!)

And the fans are weird too. They take hating the referee to a whole new level and shout things in unison at the announcer. There were two fight, which sent the crowd into ecstasy, even more so than scoring a goal.

In true Wisconsin fashion, there was a two-third-time (what do you call the break if you have three periods?) race by food products, this time cheese:

My favorite part was the PeeWee game during one-third-time where the little tots came out and mostly fell trying to hit the puck. I don’t think anybody scored, but they sure had a lot of fun.

We won the game in overtime (which was NOT the sudden death shoot out that I thought it would be) 2-1. Yay!

It did put me in the mood to watch my favorite movie when I was thirteen: The Mighty Ducks, which can be found, in very poor quality on youtube. Rewatching it as an adult confirmed that it was not as wonderful as I remembered (oh the stilted dialogue!), I may have to start watching Fringe because I still think Joshua Jackson is awesome (even if his prepubescent haircut is absurd), and the Admirals game would have been even better if they had performed “The Flying V.” Maybe next time… 🙂