I’m sticking to the disappointed groan
I hate days like this.
The stress of the last week and the increasing burden caught up with me today… Almost started crying in church. Then, after going to study with Chris and him being an hour late, I did break down. Started crying in Starbucks. We went out on the grass and I just bawled. Poor guy. He really should consider psychiatry, he’s pretty good at it.
There’s just so much going on right now. I’m burned out on class and this last section–yeah, I don’t understand it at all. On top of it all, I have this massive paper I have to complete by Wednesday and these cumulative finals that I haven’t started studying for and what was that big test that my whole career depends on? The one that I should have started studying for in at least March? I have so much that I have to do, and no real end in site. Not for another year. Overheard third-years talking about how much they got screwed over in their rotations…Yeah, all those fears came flooding back. I’m going to suck during third year. I don’t do high stress situations. I’m not good at deciding what somebody else is thinking and wanting me to do. And I thought I spent an abnormal amount of time in tears this year.
This thing with Liz is absolutely killing me. I hate not talking to her. I hate that every time I do talk to her, it’s criticisms of what I could do better. The bathroom’s not cleaned, I don’t turn my alarm off early enough, I shouldn’t have bothered making those frames, even though she bothered me about them for months because she hated that the puzzles were just glued to cardboard (long boring story). Etc, etc. And to add to it, I’m constantly confronted by the fact that she is actively trying to move out. Flyers for apartments. Talking to other girls in our church. And the biting thing–she’s searching for a roommate. Any roommate that’s not me, I guess. I hate it. I hate feeling caught in the middle, like there’s nothing I can do. I’m torn between feeling like I almost hate her and then missing her so much already. Geez, I’m crying again. I so want to run away…
I think I need sleep more than anything. I always get emotional when I’m sleep deprived.
Weird… I just logged onto ff.net, and discovered that someone put me as their favorite author. Their pen name? Julia: It’s All a Dream. I wonder if it’s a sign.
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{{{hugs}}} Sounds like you’re under a lot of stress…
{{{hugs back}}} You would like after two years of nothing but stress, I’d get used to it.
I just read your post about your situation with your mother… I’m so sorry. Your little boy is so adorable, I can’t imagine not wanting to spend time with him.
We can vent and let out all the ARGHS that we want together.
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Thank you!
OK, here’s my ARGH: *ARGH*
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*HUGS TIGHTLY*
You know I’m here if you need to talk (you can even e-mail me and ramble at me if you want to). When things have calmed down for you, we should really try to get together for a chat.
*HUGS*
Um… I don’t know your email address. 😛 Isn’t that awful?
I would lovelove to chat with you! I’m still busier than anything for the next week, but maybe after that? I have no idea what the time difference is, but I’m sure we could figure something out.
*TIGHT HUG BACK*
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Am an idiot, sorry. 🙂 My e-mail is: el@interexcel.co.za
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Aww, Julia I’m sorry. Umm .. I might have something that might make you feel better? Just give me an e-mail? — dreamergurl929@yahoo.com — *hugs*
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I’m sorry to hear things aren’t going well, Julia. You’ll get through it, though. *hug*
Thanks, Kat!
I know I’ll manage… I just have a tendency to get dramatical and depressive. It usually passes. And things are getting a little better…