For better or worse, I matched!

Chris called me at 5:50 this am (!!!) asking me where I had matched. As I had stayed up late and then tossed and turned for hours, I was pretty blurry eyed and groggy. But I logged on the computer and there were the results. No fanfare, no congratulatory email from the department (it was 4 in the morning pacific time, so I guess that’s not too surprising), just results that had probably been released at midnight. I was rather stunned to just see them there – the past few days, I had had the habit of clicking on the “match results” link to test if they were accidentally released, so I was used to the curse “please check again” webpage. I had promised Chris that he’d be the first to know–I think it dawned on him faster than me what the results were!

As always, my emotions are in turmoil. I’m super excited and ecstatic and happy, and then the other side of me is shell-shocked and grieving at the thought of moving and leaving behind this life that I’ve created here. I’m happy here, even with the crazy snow storms and muggy heat. I love my house, I love my friends, and the thought of leaving that terrifies me.

I’ve joked before that The Match is very much like a marriage ceremony, albeit a rather sadistic one (even in arranged marriages, you at least know the name of the person to whom you are vowing). By submitting the list, I tell whoever selects me, that for better or worse, I’m committed and that I’ll pick up my life and become theirs. I knew when I submitted the list that I would be leaving Milwaukee. As much as I’ve loved being here, this isn’t the place that I wanted for training. The program director belittles and torments when he’s not a in good mood, which is not something that I want to endure for two years. I wanted a place where I would have women mentors and colleagues, which I couldn’t get here. So I chose to go elsewhere, just like I chose to come here for residency, leaving my comfy life behind. I grieved then, and I’m grieving now, between the smiles of elation.

I submitted my match list last night, while I waited in my basement to see if a tornado would land on my house (it didn’t but it touched down a few miles southeast – first time I have heard the tornado sirens). I had submitted it last week, when I was “experimenting” with the site and discovered that contrary to the advertisement, you could not easily edit the list. In fact, in order to edit, I had to contact the match organization and demand that they delete the list and then start all over again.

I double and triple checked my rank order before submitting it last night, thereby sealing my fate. I then wrote my top 3 places last night, confirming that they had the necessary information to rank me, should they wish. The director of my top place emailed me back this morning stating that they had “ranked [me] quite high,” which could mean something or not. I hate that we have to use this stilted language to communicate, so we don’t break match rules.

So now begins the waiting game. Just one week, I keep reminding myself, but this week feels like it’s going to last an eternity.

I had not intended to take such a prolonged absence from my blog. Three months! I think it’s the longest break that I’ve had since starting my blog in 2003. The longer I was away, the harder it was to come back. I’ve missed writing, scribbling down my thoughts, but the longer I was away, the harder it was to actually write. Granted, it’s been a really busy three months – lots and lots of time in the hospital, my four precious days off a month being used to interview, too many 30 hour days – but every time I sat down to blog, I couldn’t get the words out. The first entry back had to be deep, ladled with meaning and symbolism that would make you all read and weep for my prolonged absence, because your life just had not been complete without my pithy remarks. This won’t be that kind of entry. I’m on vacation right now, visiting my parents and my mother was so excited when I opened up my computer, thinking that I might update. And who can deny their mom anything? So, Mom, this is for you.

When last we spoke, I had just started the whole interview process, I think, for neurocritical care fellowship. Yes, it’s still ongoing. You all were here for the drama of applying and then thinking that I had missed the deadline. Oh ho, foolish Julia! It took until April to even get an interview from a majority of the programs (and I just had another email this past week from a program who hadn’t said a thing until now), so it’s been a rather prolonged, drawn out process. I did take a couple of notes throughout my interviews, but as they dragged on (and on. And on. And on). I stopped doing that as much, which left most of the programs as a big fuzzy memory. Oops. It’s okay, all of the programs have wonderful relationships with neurosurgery, there’s plenty of teaching, all of the fellows are happy and there’s no more call and the water fountains stream golden honey. Or something like that.

I’ve completed all 11 (!!) of my interviews; I have a top choice (and a close second) and now am contacting programs declaring my everlasting love and asking if they will be mine. On June 22nd, my rank list is due and on June 29th, the arranged marriage match will be confirmed. In one month, I’ll know where I’ll be planting roots for two years.

And since I’ve been telling everybody, my first choice is San Francisco. So if in June, I mention that I’m headed to Atlanta, then you’ll know that things turned out really, really wrong (I didn’t even interview there!). I’ll be really, really happy when the whole thing is over.

I’ll let you know. 🙂

From fileg:

I love this band!

Have you seen their other music video?

Things I’m looking forward to this month:

1. Going to Michigan to see my friends Michelle and Kelly and their little family. Interviews #2 & 3 on Monday and Tuesday

2. Weekend trip and interview in Portland. I looked online and determined that it was roughly the same price to fly in Friday as it was to fly in Monday. I’ve never been to Portland and it’s been high on my list (along with Seattle and Vancouver) and I haven’t been on a vacation to just see a new place in a long time. I’m already drooling over the photographing potential. Mountains!

3. Following weekend in Boston, visiting Chris and Gretchen. I’m interviewing in Philadelphia, so it made a good excuse to jump over and see them. As I’m still waiting for the itinerary from Philly, I haven’t gotten tickets yet, which is making me anxious. Boston in late winter is probably not as awesome as Boston in the fall, but it’ll do. Any must see sights?

So for those who are keeping score at home, by the end of this month, I’ll have interviewed at 5 places (I may be able to squeeze one more in), I have 2 scheduled in April, 4 other programs have contacted me and stated that they “would decide soon” about interviews (that was about a month ago), and I haven’t heard anything from 3, including the program here (still!!!). Of the 6 unknowns, I really only want to interview at 2-3 (really only one, but the others I have to because of connections), so I should be able to squeeze them in. I do love when things start sliding into place.

Forgive me for my absence here during February. I actually had a pretty good month with weekends free and no call. I was doing palliative care consults in the hospital, which translates to lots of family meetings and talking about goals and how people want to spend their last days, weeks or months. As this is something that I need to perfect, as well as intrigues me (I don’t get excited about new techniques and drug trials, but talk to me about how we as doctors can communicate better with our patients and families and I’ll gab your ear off for hours), I found the month informative and moving rather depressing. I really do love it when the patients and the families work towards a “good death”: whether that means stopping the treatments and focusing on comfort or continuing to hold on for the next treatment, because life is what’s important to them, as long as we’re doing what the patient and family wants.

One of the residents died in a car crash earlier in the month too, which sent me reeling. We worked closely together, shared many a sleepless nights and many a crashing patient. It was only after her death that I realized that I didn’t know her at all and that we could have been really good friends outside of work. Her memorial was beautiful, full of hope and celebration, although I sobbed through most of it (especially when my neurosurgery boys gave their eulogies. I’ve never seen them cry before). She left a gaping hole and I think I’m still grieving.

Yeah, aren’t you glad you didn’t have to read a month of this pathos?

My friend emailed me a couple of weeks ago and asked me to cover a call for him. As he had stepped in when I was overwhelmed and needed extra help, I really couldn’t say no. He’s also offered to make up for it and cover for me when I’m on call in April, so that I can add an extra interview to my schedule, so I shouldn’t complain.

So instead of my first completely free weekend in a long time, I’m on call. We’ve already capped and tucked in the patients, the intern and senior med student have been watching the super bowl (crappy ads, somewhat entertaining game (and I don’t really like football)), and I’ve been researching how to make my own swiffer-jet pads and produce bags and making a 101 things in 1001 days list. So far, making a cathedral quilt and cook dinner every night for a month have made the list. What would you add to your list?

I had my first interview on Friday at Rush University. I drove down early that morning to miss Chicago traffic, but it meant that I only had about 5 hours of sleep (nerves, kept thinking of everything that I needed, cold feet kept me awake) and that made for a really long day. Especially since 3.5 hours of it was being on rounds, listening about patients that I didn’t know and trying to look as if it was the most fascinating thing ever. I managed not to yawn too much AND not fall asleep during noon lecture (something I never manage usually. Dark room during lunch, lecturer droning = instant sleep), which was impressive. And did I mention that I didn’t get breakfast and only had a half slice of thin crust pizza for lunch?

The interview went well, I think. Apparently my letters from my attendings were really strong and full of praise, which I was glad to hear. Especially since one of the writers is the director of the neurocritical care program here and he hasn’t offered me an interview yet and since I waive my rights to read them, it was a little nerve wracking.

For my own benefit, when I’m looking back and needing to submit a rank list, here’s my (nicely cut) impressions of the program.

1. Procedure wise: strong. A month of anesthesia and procedures, so I can learn to intubate. Working with neurosurgery, so I can place EVDs and burr holes. Fellows do central lines and art lines.
2. Minimal TBI (traumatic brain injuries) and traumas in general. They may be allowing us to rotate at Cook County Medical Hospital, which is the trauma center of the entire country, I think, so that would be improved. Most of the patients are transfer patients, so they can be quite sick.
3. Closed ICU. All patients are neurology primary patients with neurosurgery consult. There’s still the drama and clashes between the two departments (evident even just in a half day rounding), but maybe a little less?
4. Potentially willing to work with me to create a combo program. Dr. Temmes was a med-neuro back in 2006, so he understands and Dr. Bleck established a combo in Virginia several years ago, so they seem willing. The fellowship director, Dr. John was not so eager and thought that there would be snags, but was willing to consider doing it with an additional 6 months. In any case, I get at least 4 months of MICU.
5. Dr. Bleck is the founder of neurocritical care. The guy who started the entire movement.
6. All of the attendings come for different, but very strong programs in neurocritical care. Dr. Temmes is from Columbia, Dr. John from Mass General, Dr. Patel from UCSF and Dr. Bleck is from all over.
7. It’s downtown Chicago. Downtown Chicago. Horrible traffic. Expensive housing. I’d have to sell my house. 🙁
8. It’s Chicago. The opera, the art museum, awesome concerts. Closer to Susan and Michelle to visit. Still manageable to see Chris regularly. Two years might not so bad.
9. Similar sort of program as my own. Second year fellow seemed relaxed and comfortable managing the team/patient.
10. There’s not a fellow in 2010. Meaning it’d just be me for the first year. I’d don’t know if it would affect me.
11. Q4 call in house the first six months with the neuro resident. Home call afterwards, come in for procedures and sickie patients after that.
12. Teams consist of 1 neuro resident, 3-4 anesthesia, occasional neurosurgery and nurse practitioners. MICU fellows rotate through.
13. Schedule may consist of working every Sunday??? Not certain about that.
14. Stipend basically the same as here (but higher costs of living). Rest of benefits comparable.
15. … I could be happy here. Definitely on the rank list.

So far, I’ve got an interview scheduled at Henry Ford (Detroit) in March. I’m trying to schedule an interview with Cleveland Clinic the day before so that I could drive out (and maybe spend the weekend with Michelle and Kelly … ?) and save some money. Both programs are being rather difficult however. And that’s it so far. Oregon offered me an interview, then didn’t respond when I suggested some dates. UCSF can’t seem to find my letters of recommendation (even though I confirmed that they were sent). And another 4 programs have emailed back, saying that they had received my application and would be letting me know. I’m getting a little impatient. I have very little free time to interview, and February would have been a good month to interview: I’m on a consult month and can miss some time. Now, tickets anywhere would be so expensive.

I had church friends over for dinner after the interview (I managed to avoid most of the traffic going home too! Yay!). I really should stop hosting friends when I’m sleep deprived. I think I put my foot in my mouth more times than once and embarrassed myself (I can’t really remember the particulars anymore, I guess that’s the good thing about exhaustion). The salmon was excellent as always (have I shared my recipe before?) and the company was good. I just wish I could have appreciated it more.

And thus ends the weekly update. 🙂

This is why I’ve been limping around:

My feet hate winter. If I don’t keep them slathered in cream, they develop cracks which bleed, making for very painful times. I haven’t quite gotten to the bleeding point yet, but we’re laying on the cream before bed tonight.

I spent a good portion of my free time this morning browsing around this site. I do get rather frustrated at the princess marketing for little girls, but there are some amazing braids on that blog. I’ve been growing my hair out for the last year going from this:

to hair like this:

(I’m desperately in need of a trim.)
My hair style for the past year has consisted of washing hair, combing it and letting it dry straightish. The next day, I pull it back into a low lying ponytail, and the following day the cycle repeats. But my hair is finally long enough to braid. I love braids. I’m usually a two french braid, straight down the back with the ends tucked under, so it was awesome to get some new ideas. This is the braiding style that I wanted to try today, unfortunately I discovered that I am not dexterous enough to braid my own hair sideways. Instead, I went for 2 french braids that ended 2/3rd of the way down and then brought together and braided the rest of the way. I then took the remaining hair, twisted it into 2 ropes and wrapped everything together. I loved the result:

The twisted ropes were super easy to make; I think that I’m going to head to the pharmacy and stock up on clear little elastics so I can do it more often.

I’m submitting the last round of secondary applications and supplemental stuff early tomorrow morning. I’ve heard back from about 4 programs with definite offers to interview (nothing from my own home program, natch). All of my letters of recommendation were finally sent out (although a couple may still be missing, have to check on that tomorrow too); that took forever. Now I just have to set up the interviews so I can cluster trips together (and hopefully save some money in airfare) to minimize time off. I’ll be doing a couple of interviews in February and April, but the majority will be in March, I think.

I finally updated my pictures on Picasa. You can go there and see all of the beautiful pictures of my handsome little nephew who’s now an entire month older and is a prodigy in every way. Laura B, I also put up some of the pics of your cute kids too. If you want the full size images, let me know. 🙂

And I think you’re all caught up in the life of Julia!

From PBS’s “Bachelors of Highbury Quiz, I got:

Quite right, too.

I’m apparently not a Mr. Elton kinda girl at all: only 1% of the vote.

You should all take the quiz too! It can be found here, but remember, Mr. Knightley is mine. 🙂

I celebrated finishing my applications (I’ve heard back from 8 of the 14 programs) by finally watching Cranford. Overall I enjoyed it a lot, although I’m starting to see why people compare Elizabeth Gaskell with Dickens. It’s available on PBS until Jan 10th, if anyone is interested. The Return to Cranford christmas special will be playing on your local PBS station the next two Sundays.

Speaking of costume dramas and Elizabeth Gaskell, have you seen this?

I sent off my applications this morning. Two of the programs who had the 12/31 deadline listed have already contacted me, stating that the information on the Match website was false. They either had no deadline or it was later this month. And two have bounced back as “delivery failure,” so I’ve got to do some more searching. One program just hired one of our fellows here and stated that he was “looking forward to meeting” me. So I may already have an interview. Downside is that I strongly dislike working with this particular fellow and I’m not sure that I’d want to go to a program where he would be in charge of me and my education for 2 years.

I need to contact my letter writers and make sure they are on target for sending out letters by Friday/Monday. And then fill out any secondary applications.

I’m mailing off the request for my board scores today. I’m sending a copy to myself and another to my neurology program, which they will copy and then give back to me. Hopefully, this will mean that I won’t lose it again (of course, I’ll go to all of this trouble and never need it again. But you never know).

And after all that, I think I can sit back for a little while and wait for the invitations. What a relief!

And a big thank you to all of you for your support and words of encouragement. When I’m overwhelmed, I don’t get a chance to respond, but I really appreciated your suggestions.

1. The note cards for my speech that I gave for Academic Decathlon my senior year of high school. It was a grand, patriotic speech. I had the timing perfect and everything. My second cousin beat my score by 2 points and won the bronze medal.
2. The movie ticket from when I first saw Serenity.
3. My MCATs scores. Yeah, nobody’s asking for those anymore.
4. Heating bills from 1999-2000.
5. My birth certificate (yay! I had wondered where that had gone!).
6. My Lord of the Rings map that I got with the first extended DVDs. It’s now rather discolored in spots.
7. Essays I wrote in high school.
8. A really ugly Jesus figurine that Sam gave me for Christmas one year. “You can’t throw away Jesus!” she said. So I haven’t. But I think I’ve found her Christmas present for next year.

Just no Step 3 scores. Step 1, Step 2 CK & CS, yep, got those, but Step 3 are missing. I’ve gone through every piece of paper that I own and I can’t find them. I’m pretty sure that they were accidentally thrown away when I was cleaning through things. I just wish I could remember what they were. I know that I passed, obviously, and I have a rough idea of what my score was, but I have no way of confirming. To request my score, I have to fill out a form, have it notarized that I am me, mail it in for 5 business days of processing and then my scores will be sent back to me. So if I’m lucky, I’ll have them by the end of next week. It’s not cheap either. But since I need those scores, I have to cough up the money.

I’m going ahead with the applications. I’ve spent way too much time and effort coordinating all of this. I can’t imagine that I’m the only one who thought to wait to send in applications until the Match registry was open. And it’s not my fault that the process was so horribly arranged. Seriously, I hunted on all of the universities websites looking for application information and there wasn’t anything mentioned about deadlines anywhere. The only program that had a deadline listed on their website was Columbia University who recommended that “applicants submit their information 2 years prior to the starting date” (ie July), which I had already missed by the time I even made up my mind. I’m sure that there are going to be programs that are not going to offer me interviews because of this. But here’s what I’ve got going in my favor:

From last year’s match:

Of the 49 programs last year, only half matched. The three programs that I’m most interested in at the moment (Virginia, San Francisco and here) did not match. I’ve still got a chance.

Thanks again to platypus and bjorks_defender for their help with my letter. It was so appreciated.

Every time I apply for something, it goes wrong. Medical school, the many board tests, residency. And now this fellowship.

So I get on to register for the match. There has been absolutely no information at all about what is needed for the registration. Just how much it costs. You can’t find out information about the programs until you register.

Registration opened today.I get on, and they need my USMLE scores. And I can’t find my Step 3 score. I don’t throw anything away without double and triple checking that it’s not needed. I have paystubs from when I was a tutor my sophomore year of college. But I can’t find this. It’s not available online. To request a copy will take 5 business days and I can’t actually send a copy to myself without even more time being involved.

So I fudge the results, I’ll fill in details later and finally can pull up the programs’ information and see this:

Application Deadline: 12/31/09.

12/31/09.

As in 5 days ago.

How am I supposed to know about an application deadline when I can’t register until 4 days after its already passed?????

I give up. Life, I take the hint. I guess I’ll try again next year or apply for open position after the match is over. I don’t know. I don’t know.

From The Writer’s Almanac:

“It’s the birthday of J.R.R. Tolkien, born John Ronald Reuel Tolkien in Bloemfontein, South Africa (1892). His father, a banker, had moved to South Africa for work, but he died when Tolkien was four years old, and his mother moved the family back to England. They lived in a rural village outside the city of Birmingham. Train tracks went right beyond their house and young Tolkien was drawn to the Welsh names on the sides of coal cars, names like Nantyglo and Senghenydd. And his mom tutored him in Latin, and as a young child he was fascinated by the way that language worked. When he was eight years old, his mom converted to Catholicism, and her family was so upset that they disowned her. Now the family, which hadn’t had much money anyway, had even less.

“And then, when Tolkien was 12 years old, his mother died from complications of diabetes, and he and his younger brother were put in the care of a Catholic priest. He went to a good school, started inventing his own languages, and formed a literary group called the T.C.B.S., friends who exchanged ideas and critiqued each other’s work. He graduated, got into Oxford. But before he started, he took a summer trip with friends hiking in the Swiss Alps, and much later when he wrote about Bilbo Baggins hiking the Misty Mountains, he used his memory of that summer in the Alps.

“But as a teenager starting at Oxford, he had no desire to write fantasy novels. Instead, he was interested in language. He studied Classics, Old English, Finnish, Welsh, and the Germanic languages. He went to fight in WWI, spent four months on the Western Front and then got trench fever and was sent home to recover. All but one of his friends from the T.C.B.S. literary group were killed in the war, and to honor them and also to help work through his own awful war experiences, he decided to write down some stories. They were stories about elves and gnomes, but they were not cheery fairy tales — they were filled with war and violence and trenches dug under battlefields.”

I raise my glass (orange juice tonight). Happy Birthday, Professor.

I ended up not having to go into the hospital last night after all. It took the transport SIX HOURS to bring the child from the fringes of civilization to the hospital. My attending went in and saw the child, ordered everything and then called me to confirm that I didn’t need to go in. By that time, I had missed dinner with my friends and the dance was winding down (my friends stated that it was not a swing dance after all) and I really do make it a point to avoid highways after midnight on NYE, so I ended up making hot cocoa, putting on Star Trek and falling asleep 10 minutes into it. Happy New Year to me. Oh well.

I did meet up with my friends this afternoon for lunch and catch-up. I do have wonderful friends. They complain that I never mention them in this blog. Which is true. So consider this your shout-out: Laura, Laura and Sarah! We stayed at the restaurant for hours and then saw Where the Wild Things Are. I’ve been wanting to see it for a while, and I found it supremely disappointing. The whole thing was depressing with very little whimsical happiness that I had expected.

And then I got to top it off with Dr. Who. It was wonderful and lovely and heartbreaking all at the same time. I cried. No wonder I have a headache!

I have pictures to share and end of the year/decade (okay, I do know it’s not really the end of the decade, since there wasn’t a year 0 BC/AD/CE, but everybody else is doing it!) reflection memes to post and that freaking personal statement to finish (I loath it. Passionately), but right now, I’m tired and a little bruised in the soul and headed to bed.

ETA: And, of course, I forget to publish this. I was tired!

Happy New Year’s Eve, my friends! How glad I am that all of you are part of my life! I hope this continues through next year and the next and the next… *hugs*

I’m on home call tonight, which means I have to carry a pager all of the time. My last call on Tuesday went really well. I got sleep and a minimal number of calls. My friends are having a small New Years Party and my church is having a swing dance (!!!) tonight, and I so hoped that it would be quiet enough that I could go for a couple of hours, with pager and cell phone close on hand. Alas, shortly after I got home, the pager went off. Some outside physician was asking me how to control status epilepticus (uhhh…) and that they were transferring the patient to my hospital here. So I’m waiting for the call that the patient has arrived. Hopefully once the child has been tucked in, I can grab my saddle shoes and skirt and get in a few dances.

I’m at the children’s hospital this month. It’s been a month that I’ve been dreading. Home call every other night (which means that even if I get a lot of calls and little sleep, I still have to show up for the entire day the next day. By the end of the month, pretty much everybody is hallucinating from the s. Lots of consults. Lots of patients to see every day. Lots of floppy, fragile babies to examine and figure out what weird two or three name syndrome they have. It’s all diseases that I’ve never heard of: the kids either outgrow them or they die of complications.

So far (it’s only been 4 days), I’ve enjoyed my month. It helps that I really like my attending. She’s funny and we get along really well. Of course, the attending switch on Monday, so I’ll have somebody else to deal with, but I haven’t had to deal with the rounding until 9 pm horror stories that I heard about. I’ve learned more than what my feeble brain can absorb. And the kids are precious. I get to hold brand new babies all the time.

Argh, the kid is still not here. It’s been two hours!! Maybe there won’t be dancing after all. 🙁

• I have asked the last person needed for a letter of recommendation. He was gracious enough to agree. So I’ve got the neurology chair, the program director, the ICU director and my favorite stroke/intensivist writing letters for me.
• My CV is completed. I think that I managed to play up my strengths of teaching and leadership, while minimizing my deficiencies in research. We’ll see.
• Finalized the list of places that I’m applying. All over the country, I think 15 places in total. I may add one or two more to the list.
• Have half-way finished my “statement of intent.” I know, I know, it should be done, but I’m having a hard time verbalizing (I guess writing is the more proper gerund) my ideals of blending the neuro and medical critical care worlds together and how my empathy and interest in doctor-patient communications also fit. I have a few more days to play with it and hopefully will have a workable draft by Thursday/Friday for editing this weekend.

I have Friday/Saturday to finish any secondary applications and get ready to register for the SF Match on January 4th. I’ll submit all of the letters of intent and secondary applications by that Wednesday (mst likely that day). Letters of recommendation should be sent out that week, completely the application and just leaving me with waiting to hear from those who are willing to interview me. I’m not planning on interviewing at 15 places, but do hope to get 5-6 interviews. There are various and sundry other little things that I have to do, but I’ve gotten most of the big ones done. Hooray!

And that’s the update!

The thirty days of sharing became 2 days of sharing. Mostly because it was taking a lot of time. I wasn’t satisfied with just saying “This is my favorite move, tv show, book, etc;” I had to convince you that it should be yours too. And it dawned on me that if I’m wanting to get my fellowship applications submitted by the first week of January, that meant that I had a month to do everything… and a week of that month includes vacation and the last week I’m starting child neurology which will suck my soul into an abyss from which I will be lucky to arise again. So. Two weeks and change. Two weeks to write to programs and get their applications. To get letters of recommendation. To write a personal statement (Becks, can I borrow you again?). To manage to sweet talk my program into doing what I want to do. To put the final touches on my research proposal, which won’t be even started by the time applications are due, but will at least give me something to talk about on the interview trail. To rewrite my CV and describe how not-lame I really am. Not to mention the studying I need to do for the rotation that I’m on and the quality improvement project that I have to do for my clinic which is time-consuming and due the same time as my applications. And did I mention this whole “trying to exercise” and be “down 5 pounds by the new year” thing?

So. No thirty days of sharing. No posting every day. I’ve thought about having somebody change my passwords to my email accounts so they’re not a temptation, but as I need them for actual communication, I can’t do that. But I am going to have to take a break from my blogs and my reading lists and all of my other frivolous pursuits. This may be the last post with substance for a long time.

I met up with Susan downtown in Chicago yesterday for our last bash of the year. The Lyric Opera of Chicago performed The Merry Widow, which is my all time favorite opera. Even since staying up all night to watch it on PBS, I’ve been on a quest to find the perfect version live. The original opera was in German (which it is only rarely performed in now days), so finding a translation that captures the wit, sweetness, and romance of the version that I saw so long ago has been a challenge.

The opera was at 7:30. Susan and I made plans to meet up at the hotel at 6 for dinner. Google maps confirmed that the hotel was 1 hour and 42 minutes away, but in bad traffic, could be 2 hours and 20 minutes. Since it was a weekend, I figured I didn’t need to calculate for traffic and left my house at 4:30, stopping to get gas and heading on my way. I called Susan as I left the toll road (hate toll roads, but I’ll save that rant) that I should be there in about twenty minutes. 30 seconds later, I hit bumper to bumper traffic. The 1 hour and 42 minute drive became 2 hours and 32 minutes. Once I finally arrived, I then managed to get off the freeway and turn into a parking garage structure that had no exit!! I had to go back out the entrance to get out. I’ll skip the frustration that it was to drive in downtown Chicago, mostly because although we had navigation to direct us to the opera house, said navigation didn’t let us know where parking was and all of the roads are one way.

Long story short, we were 7 minutes late. I left three hours before the opera started and was late AND didn’t get dinner. *sigh* Needless to say, it took a while to get into the performance. I was in jeans, instead of the velvet dress I had brought, because there hadn’t been time to change. We had to sit downstairs in their lobby to watch the first part on a television set. The sound quality when the characters were speaking was terrible. But once the first act ended and we found our seats, I was able to relax and enjoy myself.

It was a gorgeous performance. Luscious costumes and lovely sets. The actress who played Hannah had a beautifully sweet voice that lingered over the high notes of “Vilja”, the haunting love song about a huntsman enraptured by a woodland sprite or witch. Danilo was much much more of a play boy that the other version, but this performance seemed to play everything more as a comedy, more lighthearted, more risque, so Danilo suited it and he was redeemed enough by the end. The Merry Widow waltz had a somewhat prominent role, which I appreciated and melted every time the violins played the melody. The third act, which is already short compared to the first two, was sliced in half, which was a disappointment and really left me wanting more.

Overall, a very satisfying opera. Still not quite as good as the Live at Lincoln Center version, but I’ve become resigned to the fact that I was exposed to perfection the first time and have been able to enjoy the different interpretations. I’m so glad that I got to go. Even with all of the irritations (including paying more for parking than I pay for gas for an entire month and not being able to order pizza properly and completely making a fool of myself in front of the hotel concierge (yes, it was a swanky hotel. Suz and I both felt out of our element) trying to pick up said pizza and not getting internet so I could make a dent on my long to-do list because the ridiculous hotel charges $15(!!!)), it was well worth it.

To see pictures and video and hear commentary, you must go to the Lyric Opera of Chicago homepage . I especially recommend the videos, they’re gorgeous.

Day 2 – Your favorite movie.

I love dance movies. Maybe even more so than period dramas, which is saying something. 🙂 Strictly Ballroom, Mad Hot Ballroom, Swing Kids, Dirty Dancing, yes, even Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. There’s something about the swirling of couples in fancy dress, moving to the rhythm of a waltz or tango, of finding love through the mastering of difficult routines. I’m such a sap.

Two favorites tonight. I was going to make picspams, but I really want to get to bed early tonight, so we’ll have to make do with googled images.

“Shall We Dansu?” was a little movie that was made in Japan in 1997, about an accountant who found the passion that he was missing in taking dance lessons. It was later remade in 2004, starring Richard Gere, Susan Saradon and Jennifer Lopez. I like both movies very much, but this one has a quiet charm and a simpler story that I think is just a tad more engaging. I love the secondary characters so much. They all have a different personality and are three dimensional.

You can find it on amazon to buy, or on YouTube to watch in 9 minute segments.

And my all-time favorite. I have watched it probably close to a hundred times and I still love it:

Strictly Ballroom. I think that this was Baz Luhrmann’s first movie, styled as a mockumentary and is somewhat a “Ugly Duckling” retelling in dance. The costumes and acting are over the top (you should watch the movie just to see the main character’s mother’s eyes. Wow). Once again, it’s a movie that really fleshes out the secondary characters. They all have side stories that are important overall.

My friend Becka, when I insisted that she watch it, reported that she felt frustrated with the stores that have the girl take off her glasses to become beautiful, to conform to what society agrees is beauty. While I admit that that is part of the story here, I’ve always felt that the story transcends that. Yes, she removes her glasses, but doing so means that she has to learn to trust in herself and her partner. It’s resisting conformity that’s the take home message. I love that she is feisty and knows her own mind. Even after being ridiculed, she’s out on the dance floor, because that’s what she loves.

It is broody Scott who makes the movie, though. He has the most yummy biceps.

You can’t find the whole movie online, but you can watch the finale in all of its glittery glory here.

A life lived in fear is a life half-lived.

Shall we continue to blogging thing?

One of my LJ friends posted a meme called the Thirty Days of Sharing, which I thought would be fun.

Day 01 – Your favorite song.

I have a hard time with favorites. Except for colors (any shade of purple) I have a hard time saying that Such-And-Such is my favorite Fill-In-The-Blank. My tastes change. I have a variety of interests and likes. Some days certain things stand out sharper than others. And I can never just pick one. So these are my “I really like it and would propose marriage if it would have me” songs, of the moment.

1. The Atheist Christmas Carol – Vienna Teng. I’ve gushed and gushed and gushed about Vienna to whoever will listen to me talk. I’ve seen her live 4 times now and if here was any way that I could go home for Christmas a few days early to catch her performance in Park City, I would (instead, all of my Utah friends must go in my stead). This is the only Christmas song that I listen to year around and although the title may turn some away, this song best captures the hope, the grace, the love that surrounds the holiday.

Lyrics | Vienna Teng lyrics – The Atheist Christmas Carol lyrics

2. Return to Pooh Corner – Kenny Loggins. I always feel silly when I confess how much I love love love this song. But I do. It makes me happy and nostalgic and peaceful all at the same time. The YouTube video can’t be embedded, but here it is if you want to click.

3. Jai Ho – Slumdog Millionaire. I’ve never seen the movie (I know!), but this is my favorite workout music right now.

4. Getting Late – Rob Thomas. I could drown in his voice. I love the way his songs have matured. I’ve always thought that Matchbox 20 was deeper than the other bands that were popular in the 90s. Their lyrics had layers. I love layers. This is one of my favorites from his latest album, Cradlesong.
‘Cause it’s getting late, it’s time to go
The paper moon is fading slow
But the night, it keeps moving on
‘Till it takes you in, it brings you home

5. Lead, Kindly Light – The Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Growing up in my little tiny town, we had the same chorister every Sunday who picked the same songs. I think she had a selection of 30 songs that she rotated through (and insisted they be sung at a snail pace). So there were several songs in the hymn book that I never knew existed until I went to college and gained exposure and experience. This was one of them that floored me with its message. I love the expanding faith in the lyrics, the idea that one can struggle, have problems, but still turn towards the light. This is my favorite arrangement.

6. Right Angles – The Paper Raincoat. I never would have been exposed to this song if I hadn’t fallen in love with Vienna Teng and thus got acquainted with her accoustics friend, Alex Wong, who can play a waterphone as well as the piano, drums, guitar and I think any instrument that you put into his hands. Anyway, at one of the concerts, he sang a song called “In the Creases” which I fell in love with. It was a song he had written in a side project, a duo called The Paper Raincoat. When they released their first album this October, I snagged it as soon as possible. This is my second favorite. (You can listen to In The Creases here.)

7. Sway (Quien Sera) – Dean Martin. I have a hard time picking my between Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin as favorite crooner. I love the sultry rhythms of this song. It makes me want to find a swirling black skirt and a dark corner in Argentina.

Click to listen or download.

The boy in the cafeteria just gave me two apple dumplings. For free.

The flirty thing to do would have been to offer to share the dumplings after his shift was over. Alas, the hospital was not made for flirtation. I had only a few minutes to grab a drink before my patient was scheduled to arrive (orders are done. I’m working on the H&P and waiting for my fellow to call me back) so there was really no opportunity. All I could do was give him my best coquettish smile (do I even have a coquettish smile?) and thank him.

The most amusing aspect of this is that this boy has only ever seen me on call nights and I am the epitome of Not Attractive when I’m on call. Scrubs are not flattering to my figure (I think that I’ve been asked if I was pregnant 7 times wearing those scrubs). My hair is a disaster. I’ve been in the hospital all day so my skin is greasy. And yet, I’m pretty sure that he’s flirting.And I’m kinda happy about that.

(And this wouldn’t post last night. So you get it on 12/01. But I’m post-dating it, because gosh darn it, I worked hard to post every day in November, and I’m not going to let a little technical difficulty keep me from my goal. It did mean that I missed out on getting one of the prizes. Next year.)

And also:

So a couple of weeks ago, I finally discovered how much easier Google Reader made my blog reading and stalking. I put on all of my usual haunts, it suggested more… and more… and more. I’m now subscribed to more than 50 blogs. Luckily, most of them only post once or two a week. Right now, I think that Google Reader can’t decide whether I’m a happiness-seeking, frugal-living, eco-friendly Buddhist, a Mormon mommy/infertility/woe-I’m-single blogger, or a fiction author stalker. Probably a little of all of them.

A couple of days ago, I stumbled on an all about Jane Austen blog and added it to my reader. Well, that brought a flood of suggestions! Now, I’ve got Austen book reviews (what is with all of the paranormal “retellings”??? This is getting ridiculous!), JA quotes and best of all, regency costumes on my daily readings. Today, I browsed through a dozen different blogs, which stirred my longings to make proper stays and shifts, so my own gown would hang properly. My favorite gown that this particular seamstress made was this one. Isn’t it gorgeous?

I’m not one of those who wishes that I was born in a different time period. I like my indoor plumbing, electricity, quick transportation and electronics, thank you very much. But I do wish that I had excuses to dress in exquisite gowns more. And also that I had been blessed with the desire to be a seamstress. Mom tried her hardest to instill her sewing loving ways into us girls, but it’s only now that I’ve been hit with the bug – when I completely lack the time or know how.

I also just discovered that the Jane Austen Society has a Wisconsin branch that has “book discussion groups that meet three times a year. We also have a fall event in Milwaukee, toast Jane Austen’s birthday at a luncheon in December, hold a Spring Gala in Madison and celebrate summer with a Box Hill picnic.” Sounds like heaven to me!