A Random Header Image
10th February 2004

“medical” terminology

I found these highly amusing, but I’m probably the only one

Hillbilly Medical Terms

Benign ……………. What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria …………… Back door to cafeteria.
Barium …………….. What you do with dead folks.
Cesarean Section ……. A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan ……………. Searching for the cat.
Cauterize ………. Made eye contact with her.
Colic …………… A sheep dog.
Coma …………… A punctuation mark.
D&C ……………. Where Washington is.
Dilate …………. To live longer than your kids do.
Enema …………. Not a friend.
Fester ………… Quicker than someone else.
Fibula ………… A small lie.
G.I.Series ……… World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail ……….. What you hang your coat on.
Impotent ……….. Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain ………. Getting hurt at work.
Morbid ………….. A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates ………… Cheaper than day rates.
Medical Staff ……. A Doctor’s cane, sometimes shown with a snake.
Node ……………….. I knew it.
Outpatient ………….. A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear ……………. A fatherhood test.
Pelvis ………………. Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative ……….. A letter carrier.
Recovery Room …. Place to do upholstery.
Secretion ……. Hiding something.
Tablet ………. A small table to change babies on.
Seizure ………. Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section.
Terminal Illness …. Getting sick at the train station.
Tumor …………… More than one.
Urine …………… Opposite of mine.
Varicose ………… Near by.
Hospital ………… The biggest building in town, other than Ed’s feed warehouse.

posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

  • Julia’s Journal

  • Just an ordinary girl.
  • Archives

  • RSS Red Head Snippet

    • Better May 9, 2022
      It’s Day 6 since I was diagnosed/day 7 and a half since I first started getting the first hint of symptoms. I am feeling better, so much better. I started feeling dramatically better on Thursday, after I took the 3rd dose of Paxlovid. Fevers stopped, congestion improved. The sore throat has completely gone this morning […]