I think is the part of that I hate the most–the planning.

I was online all day (and boy is my shoulder telling me so!) looking up tickets to South Africa to see if it’s feasible to visit shirerain and claidheamhmor while I’m in Kenya (I finally emailed the secretary–after all of my looking around, she said that she’ll arrange it all with the travel agency, so I think I’m set…. South Africa here I come!), looking for car rentals, trying to figure out if it’d be best if I drove the car from Iowa to Minnesota and back or if I just drive to Minnesota and then fly out from there, checking email every 5 minutes in hopes that I would hear from Wisconsin (I haven’t–it’s really making me worried that I haven’t heard anything) so that I could finalize my plans, discovering that I had applied to the wrong school in Iowa for internal medicine, applying to the right school (I hope. Or did I apply to the wrong neurology department to begin with?), etc, etc, etc.

And then Chris reminds me that I need to buy tickets to his wedding in May, because it’s a tourist destination and things fill up quickly. *sigh*

So as it stands, I have a plan ticket to Iowa on the 1st. No return ticket. No rental car yet because I’m not quite sure where I’m returning much less when. Minnesota wrote, and unlike the other programs, they don’t pay for motels, so I now I have to call and make reservations – rather than just telling the place I was at that I wanted to extend.

*sigh* It’s just getting to be overwhelming. I want it all figured out NOW. *stomps foot like Veruka Salt*

So I told my parents tonight of my plans to extend out my trip to Kenya by a week. My dad got a little quiet when I told him that I had met my friend from the internet. 😀 (and here he was worried about my younger sister moving to DC for a year!) But I did explain that we had met because of my Tolkien group, which I think calmed him down a little, and he’ll get over it. Visiting Donna (donnazita) and having her come out here relieved them of the worry that it was internet lunatics I was talking with. Actually my parents biggest concern is the 3 extra days that I’ll be spending in London. By myself. Which if I think about too much will freak me out too. Any tips for surviving on your own, Ali?

Well, I have to get off now. My shoulder has quite honestly taken me hostage and if I don’t behave, it’ll figure out a way to ruin everything for me.

It didn’t take me very long to completely convert back to my night owl routine. 🙂

So I have news.

I’m going to Kenya for a month in January!

I applied for this international rotation months ago, and didn’t it. There were 4 students picked, all of whom had had fantastic international experiences, and I was rather crushed when I didn’t get selected. I’ve been considering doing another international rotation, but that would have cost much much more money, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about going all by my lonesome to some random, 3rd world country.

Well, a couple of days ago, I got a call from the secretary organizing everything, stating that someone dropped out and there was a spot available and did I want it.

Suffice to say, I jumped on it.

I’m a little freaked out by the idea. I’ve been taking an international health class for the last eight (er, I only made it to six) weeks, where we’ve done nothing but talk about the nasty parasites, worms, fungi, viruses, etc. that you can contract at these foreign places. Almost made me swear off the idea entirely. *shudders* But I’m going to be brave and get all of my shots and bring lots of Cipro and just do it!

Ellie–I don’t know if you’ll be on at all today, but how would you feel about flying up to Kenya and maybe doing a safari type of thing for a few days? I’d be done with my stuff around the 11th of February and since we’d be on the same continent, it would be a fantastic time to meet. I have no idea how much it would cost or anything. I’m supposed to let the secretary know my plans by tomorrow night (she told me this afternoon. Sheesh), so that they can arrange tickets and everything. Will you be around to chat today? 2ish my time?

I start my interviews next week. I have been feeling nervous about them–more so about the dinner with the residents the next before, where I have to make charming, small talk with people I’ve never met before–until Chris’s comment today of “Everybody loves you, you’ll charm everybody.” Sometimes I forget why I keep him around–and then he reminds me. Why he has so much faith in me, I have no idea. Of course, this feeling of calm will probably only last until this weekend, but I’m enjoying it while I can. I have to go shopping for a suit tomorrow/Friday. Have completely outgrown (and not in the good way) the one I bought for medical school. Hopefully, this time, I’ll manage to remove all of the tags before the interview.

And I think that’s the quick and dirty update.

I just checked my phone for the first time today.

The University of Minnesota wants to interview me. On Oct. 21.

I was told it would take 3 weeks to process my application. I haven’t even sent in my Internal Med one because I was counting on having more time.

I’m freaking out. I’m not ready. That’s um, next week, people. Next freaking week.

So I finally got to see Serenity today.

Having never watched an episode of Firefly, the little bit that I knew about the movie/show came from my lovely flist. LOL! I toyed with the idea of renting the videos this past week, but I’ve been so busy, and so maybe it’ll turn into another X-Files thing where I’ve gotten completely devoted to a show after watching the movie on which it was based.

My short review: Loved it. There were some parts that were the tiniest bit confusing, but overall I really enjoyed it. Joss has the amazing ability to even make violence look pretty. It really was my type of movie–the sci-fi like adventures, the “Han Solo” type captain and relationship with his ship (Georgie so should have hired Joss to write his screenplay) and beyond funny. I do feel the need to see it again, but it’ll probably have to wait until the dollar theaters, because have you seen the number of good movies coming out?? I was compiling a list of movies that I want to see and I think I’m in double digits. Double digits. And that’s just until Christmas!

I’m going to be so poor. 🙂

My little baby application has stretched her wings and flown away to Oakland California. Soon, she will be visiting programs in Iowa, Minnesota, Indiana, Arizona, California, New York, Massachusetts, Wisconsin, Arizona, and New Hampshire before she returns home to roost in Utah. And as any mother, I am fearful and nervous as she makes this solo adventure–mostly that she will reflect well of me. 🙂 I do hope that she tells all the good stories about me.

Special big thanks to claidheamhmor, I couldn’t have done it without your help!

I still have more applications to go–this was just the neurology aspect, I still have internal medicine to do–but the next part is computerized (and fast–the processing time of the neuro app is three weeks. The IM one? About 12 hours) and completely transferable from everything that I’ve already done. So I’ll get it done this weekend and it’ll all be good.

Oh and I have to email all of these programs to let them know that I’m crazy and want to do two programs. Okay, still going to be busy. But less. And less is good.

Well, my personal statement is finished. Mostly. I’m stuck (of course) on the last unifying sentence. I’ve emailed those who volunteered before to read/edit it, but if anybody out there in friendland has some time tonight/early tomorrow and would be willing to look over it/correct grammar mistakes/give ideas on how to conclude without sounding like I’m repeating myself, please comment with your email address and I’ll send it on. Believe me, I’ll love you forever. If you need my first born as compensation–consider it yours.

Now all I have to do is transfer my CV to the application, get my photo taken, and track down the letter of application that the Student Affairs office lost (yes, you read that right–they lost ANOTHER letter. I’m so pissed I’m seeing red. Every day, I find more of the incompetence to amaze me), and bug letter writer #3 to finish his by midafternoon and I’ll be set. I think.

The best part? This is only one of the two applications that I have to do. I really wish I hadn’t gotten so far behind, but there wasn’t much that I could do (then or now). *sigh* Maybe by this weekend, I’ll have my life again.

I missed all but the last fifteen minutes of Everwood. Including the welcome home scene and kiss. 🙁 🙁 🙁

My patient tried very hard to die on me today, and completely freaked me out. And my resident who overlooks me had the day off. So it was just me, trying to figure out what in the world I’d even do. Luckily, I pounced on one of the other residents and he shouted out orders and everything turned out okay (I think), but it really started my day out on a stressful note and didn’t change all day.

I have stories to share, gripes to make, but I am so freaking exhausted that I’m calling it an early night and hitting the sack.

🙂 Night all.

Still hating the applications. Only more.

I’ve been really hoping that I’d be able to mail them off on Thursday, with overnight delivery, so that they’d be received by Friday. Well. I’ve only got one letter (that I know of because the Student Affairs office is run by a bunch of moronic idiots (and that’s not redundant, because believe me, they deserve every adjective of the sort I can provide) and the person who’s SOLE job for the entire year is to open up the little envelopes and put them in files and email us when we’ve received a letter … is gone on vacation. That’s right. And apparently, there’s not a single other person in the 20 people employed who can do it either. So they just pile up, and up. Did I tell you that they lost my letter last week? Yeah. So feeling the love)…. Anyway, I’m waiting for the other two. I apparently have to get a new picture to send in. And the essay is still only 300 words, when it should be closer to 900 by this time. I’ve got ideas, and I really like the first 300 words, but… I work best under stress, right?

*sigh*

I started a new rotation today, my “sub-intership” in internal medicine where I basically function as an intern, only my resident has to cosign everything I do. It’s already kicking my butt– I am so over my head. In three months, I’ve forgotten everything–and I’m expected to know a lot more by this point too. It took me six hours (yes, you read that right) to see one patient, write up his history and physical (H&P), discuss it with the chief resident (whom I stunned with my absolutely lac of EKG reading skills), write up the admit orders, cross out and add to my assessment/plan, discuss with the attending physician, make more orders, find resident so he can sign orders, dictate H&P, remember that I had forgotten most important order of all, add on order, talk to patient again about his home medication, add on that order, find resident again to sign orders, and finally, sign out patient to the cross-covering intern. Six hours. So much for my early afternoon that I had counted on.

My resident does happen to be one of my absolute favorite residents in the entire world–seriously, I nominated him for teaching awards because he was fantastic and half the reason that I’m thinking crazy thoughts about doing two residencies. I am crazy. Out of my freaking mind. I really hope that the end of these four weeks doesn’t change his opinion about me.

On a funny note… claidheamhmor, I had a dream about you. Or actually you and your wife, whom the only picture I’ve seen is her little user picture that she uses when she responds to you. I dreamed that you and your family were coming to the United States to move here, but your wife was coming early to scoop out the places that you wanted to visit. So I took her to see the Grand Canyon and a little cabin on the side of the cliffs that she decided that she wanted to live in. But it was flood season and she was worried that your picture was going to get wet. So the rest of the dream, I spent coming up with ideas to keep that pic dry and move it from one location to another–going all over the country, in fact. Weird, yes, I know. I don’t think that Freud would even know what to make of my dreams. I think this is the first time that I’ve dreamt of my lj friends!

Arrr, maties, tis ye ol’ sea wench, hear to remind ye, that this day dar be “Talk Like a Pirate Day”, so ye scum bett’r be a’growlin’. Best ya smartly visit this here site and learn’d you Piratey lessons or risk bein’ a lubber.

🙂

Just an excuse to post really, but I’m so glad that I actually caught it this year!

Things are going better. With Chris’s help of connecting me to the right secretary (never underestimate the power of an excellent secretary) and much groveling, begging forgiveness and promising to not let my responsibilities slip again, I managed to salvage (I think) my letter of recommendation. I have a bad feeling that it won’t be so full of praise and gushings as it would have been a week ago, but I’m settling for what I can get. Hopefully, it’ll be enough.

I had an excellent weekend. Friday night was the annual All-School Picnic. Hard to believe that I’ve now attended my last picnic– I felt old there, the old model about to be phased out. I didn’t have any interest in meeting the first years, when in years past, I had a great time meeting new people. I did have an unexpected encounter with a particular crush, which, as always, occurred when I was not prepared for even the possibility, and therefore left me feeling awkward, unsocial, unattractive, and blah. And yes, since I am now in full denial mode and have imagined it away, we’re keeping it vague. But you can probably all figure out who anyway (and the picture below should have left no doubt!) Bah.

I spent much of the rest of the weekend with Chris. After not seeing him for more than about an hour for weeks, it was like old times and I just had a great time. I’ve really missed my friend. His life is more and more drifting away from mine–I found out that he’s moving in with his fiancee and future in-laws in a week, something that he neglected to tell me–and in just a few short months, we’re going to be thousands of miles apart. So we hung out with friends Friday night after the picnic (and managed to avoid talking about medicine for two and a half hours! A record!) and went shopping together at the outdoor store garage sale (I bought a tent! Whee!) and went to two movies on Saturday, Just Like Heaven (very cute. Sappy of course, and the medical parts of it made me groan, but I was a sucker for it) and An Unfinished Life (which would have been greatly improved by the absence of JLo. And Ellie shirerain: Your boy was in it! Of course he played the wife-beater villain and had a sneer on his face much of the time, but I can see a little why you like him. 🙂 Damian looks a little like Seth Green. Hopefully this will mean that there will be more pics around of him for you!). It was such a blast and just what I needed to recharge my batteries a little.

It’s my last week on Peds Neuro. I’ve really enjoyed working with the kids, but it has confirmed my decision that Peds is not for me. I love working with the kids (except when they’re 3 and stubborn and won’t touch your finger when you ask them too!), but the parents can be quite overwhelming (it’s funny how different people can get when they’re seeking medical help for their kids rather than themselves), and I’ve had some heartbreaking cases with some pretty sick kids. So it’s adults for me.

And lastly, your opinion… picture quiz!

I love my flist. I really really do.

I know you guys are wanting the whole scoop on what’s happened, but I’m not able to find the words to describe the whole depth of the problem. Let’s just say that messing up chances for a letter of recommendation because of her stupidity, finding out that the other letter is somewhere in limbo and she’s got only a few days to find it (and nobody’s responding to emails), and realizing that she didn’t have a back up plan for anything, put Julia in a depressive funk that she hasn’t seen since the summer of 2001.

Right now, I’m scrambling to pick up pieces, eating humble pie and literally begging people to help me fix this. It’s not fun, and I’ve been in tears for the past two nights, knowing that I brought this on myself. One mistake brought the whole pile down…

On a positive note, I ran into my “arch nemesis” today, and we had our only friendly conversation in the last two years, since the infamous cafeteria blowup. It reminded me that at one time we were friends…. It was nice, and it gave me a niggle of hope.

And side note: Tay (fileg), have you been having problems responding to a journal? I’ve had difficulty once I click on, say an LJ-cut, and read the entry itself–it’s like my browser doesn’t recognize the HTML. No problems if I click to respond on my friends page view. Similar problems with you?

I’ve just screwed up my entire life plans.

Go me!

I give up, I just give up.

Boring post, but I’m freaking out!

Last week, avidtvfan (Marissa) posted that she had gotten infected with a virus that was propagating to her friends on AIM. I use a Mac, so the risk of me being infected was rather small, but you know, I’d been hearing rumors about some files starting to affect macs now that they’re becoming more popular and all of that… And my computer has been running slower than I remember, so I went looking around the internet, found reputable AntiVirus software (Sophos Antivirus for those who are curious)… Ran it, and it found two viruses and promptly deleted them! Yay!

Or no. Today, I open my mail program (Eudora), start downloading my mail and notice that one of my filters isn’t working–my school email is ending up in my Inbox rather than the handy dandy mailbox I’ve created. I go to hand move it–and discover that the entire mailbox is gone. Poof. It’s not anywhere on my hard drive. Um, this is three entire years of email communication. Lot of it junk, but there were also pictures from my classmates and their kids or emails that Chris and I exchanged while he was in Ghana.

Or most important: registration information and PASSWORDS for all of my residency applications. Gone. Just like that.

I checked the log and sure enough: Virus: ‘W32/Bagle-HTML’ detected in Julia Durrant:Users:jcd1013:Documents:Eudora Folder:Mail Folder:ms2006/Content/Embed0004/ReScan/Content
Deleted infected file

See that “Documents:Eudora Folder: Mail Folder:ms2006” bit?–yeah it deleted the entire folder. My preferences (as I have since discovered) are sent to be automatically deleted. And it ain’t in my trashcan.

Peachy. Just peachy.

Any Mac users (or computer whizzes) out there who might have an idea of how I might retrieve my files? Anyone? Bueller?

ETA: After talking with my dad (he’s my personal computer guru) and searching around apple.com and discovering that I could spend over a hundred dollars (!!!) on software and probably not get anything back and “next time you should make a backup of your mail” it hit me. Back up. I made a backup of my mail sometime ago. Pulled out my CD–Nov. 2004. Then I went and looked on my school’s email program–and my messages from November 2004 and onward were present. So I didn’t lose my mail. I’ve made it more difficult for me to find a message, but it’s all there. I think. *wipes brow*

Thanks for all of the advice, my beloved flist! It really helped me know where to even start looking. *BIG GIGANTIC HUGS*

Things to complete before Sept. 15th:

–Personal statement, version #3
—Email Dr. Digre, neurology lady and beg for letter
—Email Dr. Hale, internal med doc and beg for letter
–Talk to Dr. Bale (current neurology attending) about letter, no begging needed (I think)
–Create form letter to email neurology program coordinators
–Email said program coordinators and inform them that I wish to pursue neuro/med residencies and would they be willing to create such a program? Ask to get in touch with program directors–this must be done this weekend!
–Transfer all CV information to annoying forms
–Get official college transcript
–Get medical school transcript (not sure if they’ll be diff’t)
–Get USMLE Step I scores

Deadline for everything to be turned in: Ideal: Sept. 26th. No later than: Oct. 1

I just discovered that my school’s email program allows you to see when a person reads your email. My stomach just dropped. Am extremely nervous now.

ETA: Dr. D said yes! Whoops! Hopefully her letter will be a little more positive than her evaluation! Two more to go!

Dear Santa Claus,

I do hope you’re doing well. I was a little bit worried because I hadn’t heard any response from my letter last January (exactly 9 months ago), but bjorks_defender assured me that I probably caught you on your much needed vacation in the Caribbean, and that it probably got lost in the post-Christmas complaints. So I thought I’d better check in, and see how you and the elves were doing with creating me that boyfriend.

I have to admit, I’ve been a little bit disappointed. Right after I wrote you, Matt took center stage in my awareness, and I was certain that you were moulding him for me. He seemed exactly like my specifications–you even gave him intense blue eyes that sparkled when he look at me, just me! But disappointment followed disappointment, and before I realized it, another girl had claimed him as her present. I don’t know what she bribed you with (I gave you cheese! That’s what the commercial said you liked best!), but Santa, I expected better than that from you. I don’t want to hear that she was just breaking him in for me and that he’s free now–I’m not sure that I’m desperate for hand-me-downs.

But perhaps I’m being to hasty in judgment. Perhaps, you have been working hard with your little elves in Santa’s Workshop and are not ready to reveal him until he’s perfect. If that’s the case, I’ll be patient and wait until Christmas. Maybe. Going to God is seeming like a good alternative right now.

In any case, we do have a deadline coming up. Remember, there’s only 3 and a half months before Christmas–I won’t be very understanding if he’s late.

Lots of love,

Julia

I just managed to fall down a flight of stairs. In front of several gawking movie-goers who all were wondering how I did it. Especially since it seems to happen in slow motion, with Chris reaching out to grab me and me twisting around to save myself, thudding down the four hardly padded stairs.

Apparently, I can’t talk and walk at the same time. I’d better stay away from the bubble gum.

I hurt. My entire left side hurts from my shoulder to my ankle which I twisted badly. Tomorrow’s going to be fun getting around.

The Brothers Grimm by the way was a bizarre and crazy movie. Quite the adventure. 🙂

Night all. *limps off to bed*

“The deadline for application for PGY-II (Post-Graduate Year) beginning July 2007 is September 15, 2005.” September 15th. As in two weeks. I’ve got no personal statement, no letters, a skeleton of an application (I think I’ve got the equivalent of the ribs completed).

I’m so screwed.

This day has been one joy after another. The neurology dept. managed to mess up my schedule once again, in which I freaked out because as it stood, I would be spending two weeks shadowing a nurse around–number 1, I’m way beyond just shadowing. Give me some patients of my own! Number 2,a nurse ain’t going to be able to write that stellar letter of recommendation that I need so badly. I actually went and confronted them about it–no tears (yay!), but they’ve (sortof) fixed my schedule. I’ll be doing child neuro for the next two weeks, and then the last two weeks in the neuro critical care unit (basically an ICU for neuro issues) with an attending.

I did get most of the day off and have spent it looking at various programs that I may want to badger into accepting me–and then finding out that many of the programs have deadlines in two weeks. Ugh, ugh, ugh. Honestly, any more of these “setbacks” and “challenges” and I’m taking it for a sign and just dropping neuro. I’ll be very happy just doing internal medicine, thank you very much–and *they* seem very happy to help me out too.

I did get to see Chris for a few hours and commiserate. The poor boy is probably even busier than I. He’s actually taking the year off to do an Public Health Master’s as well as an MBA. Last week, he started both programs and was finishing a rotation in ER (that’s why you didn’t get to meet him, Donna!) and has more papers and reading and tests than we ever had to do in medical school–and that’s saying something. I don’t envy him. Well, except for his wonderful resume that he gets out of all of it. Between my schedule and his, the next time we see each other will probably be November–just in time for me to fly for the few interviews that I get.

Having Donna (donnazita) here this past weekend was awesome. We had such a lovely time, with great food, great conversation, great sightseeing. She’s even gotten me excited about the new Goblet of Fire movie, which I thought was an impossibility! I got to show her many of my favorite haunts–she was properly impressed by the wonderfulness that is our new City Library–seriously, folks, you should all come out and visit me just to see the incredible place. There were definitely a few places that we didn’t get it, which means that she must come back soon! It made me sad to think that I might be leaving this place in just a few months. I really love my city–it’s warm, friendly, and feels like home. But there’s a good part of me that feels like I need to get away. I’ve been here for college and now med school. The dating atmosphere leaves a lot lacking *snort* and I’d love to meet new people, be in a new environment. We’ll see. I guess I should just concentrate on getting that appy completed, eh?

Would anybody out there be willing to read my two personal statements this weekend? I just need lots of people looking over them, making sure there aren’t grammar errors and that all of the ideas flow well together. Believe me, it won’t be heavy on medical-ese; in fact one of them will have part that you’ve already read before from one of my journal entries. Pretty, pretty please?

There was a reason that God made me short (besides the fact that both my parents are short and genetics and all of that). It was to prevent me from going up to very cute guys and just planting one on them!

Because, lemme tell you, if I had had those two or three extra inches, there would have been nothing to prevent me from leaning over and kissing Matt the First very attractive, thin lips. Nothing. However, since I knew that I’d have to lean over on tiptoes (and would most likely tip over), I reigned the urges in.

The boy is still gorgeous. And I’m still pouting mad that absolutely nothing came of all the flirting. I mean, that boy had my best efforts just given to him!

Ah, well. I kissed that crush goodbye a while ago–figuratively, only. *pout*

Went up to the school today to talk to the neurology folks about what I’ll be doing on Monday, since I still haven’t heard anything (they didn’t even know that I was registered for the rotation until Monday. I had to go up and show them how to flip a sheet of paper over. Nice.). And they were all out of the office. It was 2:45 in the afternoon. You would think that since they hardly ever get anybody applying to neurology that they’d be working overtime to make sure that things were smooth sailing. *snort* Yeah, just not feeling the love. I’ve definitely started to wonder if it really is worth all of the effort doing the combo program (Internal Med and Neuro) when Int. Med. will probably provide me with whatever I need in my career and I like it.

The new Health Science Center is completed, and I took a quick tour around there. It’s the new education building for the medical, pharmacy and dental students. Wow, I’m very impressed. Lots of windows and big cosy couches–perfect for the afternoon nap–er, studying, I mean. I wish it had been completed earlier. It’s so weird to think that I am now a fourth year and will be done with all of this in less than a year.

And donnazita comes to see me tomorrow! I’m so excited!

Apparently President Bush was in my city today, speaking only a few blocks from my house. And I didn’t even know about it. Not one of my friends mentioned it. And I sure didn’t notice any commotion in the streets to warn me that something a little more unusual was happening around here.

Wow. I hadn’t realized that I was so news-starved or clueless.

Huh.