This day hasn’t been the most pleasant, I must say.

I’m interviewing the New York this coming week. In fact, for the past few weeks, I’ve had three interviews scheduled on Friday. One in Buffalo for a Med/Neuro position–but I wasn’t sure how much I liked their program, one in Rochester in Medicine in hopes to convince them to create a combination program just for me (I am so optimistic). And the last, for Medicine in Stony Brook, NY. I also have an interview schedule in Neuro on Monday in Stony Brook (from now on, SB)–they have a combination program, and they are the ones who are the cause of all of my problems. A couple of weeks ago, I scheduled the SB medicine interview, and then called the neuro program to confirm with them that I was scheduled. The program coordinator seemed surprised when I told her that I had scheduled the medicine interview–because she had apparently arranged for me to meet with the medicine people on Monday. Perfect!

Rochester wrote me and told me that they couldn’t do a combination program. Fine. I canceled the interviews with both Neuro (I was supposed to be there today) and Medicine there, did a little more research on the Buffalo program, decided that it wouldn’t hurt if I interviewed there, confirmed my interview, and bought tickets Saturday night. (Follow the story so far?)

Today, of course, I get an email from the Neuro person at Stony Brook saying that I needed to interview with the Medicine program separately after all. And of course, the medicine department no longer has ANY available dates to interview. And my tickets are nonrefundable/nontransferable. Lovely.

I hate it when things just fall apart. HATE IT.

It’s put me in a mild despondent mood today, where I’ve had little motivation for anything.

There. There’s my gripe for today. I’m done now.

I’m getting ready to teach first years the physical exam. We had a review today and someof it has definitely become routine–but there’s parts to the physical exam that I haven’t done in ages and still find difficult. The thyroid exam. Percussing the lungs, etc. You start to rely on lab values and chest xrays, it’s sad. Hopefully, I won’t look like too much of an idiot. I remember being a first year and absolutely in awe of how much the fourth years knew… Perspective.

I’ve been locating my Christmas music collection–I removed it from my computer because I had sooo much. It’s making me teary–there is some gorgeous music out there that never fails to make me emotional. I get very irritated listening to Christmas music on the radio–mostly because it’s that pop crap or worse, oversentimental (does The Christmas Shoes play on your radio stations? If not, you’re lucky! There’s not another song on the planet that can get me out of the Christmas mood faster), but there’s so much that’s good. Expect a Christmas music sharing post from me in the future!

Snagged from angel_grace

Bold those you’ve read. Italicize those you haven’t finished/have only read excerpts. Underline those you own. And then add a few of your own 🙂

The books

They can’t cancel Firefly! They can’t! Where can I sign a petition to keep it online??

I watched the last episode today, and almost started crying. Because that’s it. No more. That should have been a seven year series!

I am curious as to why, after seeing all the episodes, why the die hard fans were upset with Serenity? Because I do believe that Joss did a pretty good job for interpreting the series into a pretty good movie. I think (and I hate to be so unfaithful), but he probably did a better job than the X-Files creators at making a movie that fans and nonfans could enjoy.

My interview here at the U went really well today. There are reasons that I love the program here so much. The first person I met with was the program director at one of the hospitals who I’ve worked with on several occasions, so it really was just a relaxed conversation where he complimented me on all of my accomplishments (LOL!). And then the other was a doctor who had done a double residency in Medicine and Psychiatry, so he gave me some really good advice about doing a double residency, looking for the right programs, etc. He was very encouraging, and seemed to think (as do most of the doctors that I’ve talk to here) that my plans are solid ones and that I could really fit in a niche that would be worth the effort. It was nice to finally receive some positive affirmation.

I did receive two emails from the University of Iowa (the first school that I interviewed at last week), saying that they were glad to meet me and that they would love for me to “highly consider” their program, even though they are unable to create me the combination program that I wanted. I’m tempted–it’s nice to know that the interviews went better than I thought–but as nice as it sounds, they’re not going to give me the training that I really need. I hate feeling absolutely positive about my decision one minute and completely doubting myself the next.

A Long and Painful Reign of Terror Will Come to An End

This has honestly made my day. I can’t recall ever getting better news!! (I’m ignoring that bit about the threat of a spinoff. Don’t bring down my good mood!)

(Sorry to the Arrested Development fans–I myself could never get into it, but I know it had a following.)

On the home front, I had my “Here’s What to Expect in Kenya” meeting on Thursday. I don’t know if it made me more excited or more terrified. 🙂 Probably both. I’ll have a lot of opportunity there to do tons of procedures (spinal taps, chest tubes and drains, abdominal fluid draining, blood gases, etc.) that I’m really looking forward to–it will really make things in intern year just a little better if I have some practical experience. I’ll see a lot of bizarre and interesting diseases that I’ll never see here, and I’ll have a lot of autonomy with my patients. But as thrilling as all of this sounds, there’s the downsides–such as not having residents and attendings around to be of help when I really need it, seeing a lot of death, not having a toilet in the hospital (!!! Apparently there’s a hole in the ground. They did build a new pediatric building next to the hospital, with running water and a toilet, so all isn’t lost, but … ) The living conditions in the student dorms leave something to be desired–no hot water, no toilets, bugs and mice (shudder), but I was willing to endure it, until I found out that nobody else is staying there. The other medical student and the residents are staying at the “Compound” where they have wireless internet and three meals a day, as well as all the basic necessities listed above (hopefully, minus the mice). So I think I’ll be upgrading. Maybe. The cost for the dorms is less than $100 dollars, that for the compound is over $400.

So I have to start getting my vaccinations next week (yellow fever, tetanus, typhoid, polio booster, meningococcal, pneumococcal – and the flu one, which I keep finding excuses to put it off. I know, I know, I was so sick last year and with the threat of bird flu, I should be doing my part as a health care worker, but I hate shots!). Then malaria medications, and antibiotics for the unavoidable “intestinal distress” that comes with traveling to a third world country. Permethrin to soak my cloths in. Etc.

Anybody been to Amsterdam? Any ideas of what to see? Where to stay? I did figure out my tickets so that I could afford to go down to South Africa, but it meant a two day layover in Amsterdam, rather than London. When I told Chris, his first response was that I was NOT to go out at night, or I’d be seeing things that I wouldn’t want to see. LOL! I had hoped that there would be time to take a train up to Denmark and see my extended family whom I’ve never met, but uh, Europe is a little bigger than I thought and it’d take me a day to get there. But I might pop over to Germany. We’ll see. In Europe, if you cross country borders, do you get a stamp on your passport, or do you have to fly into the country?

I have my third interview on Monday–but it’s my first internal medicine interview (the last two were neurology interviews). It’s here at my school, I know everybody well, so hopefully, it’ll be a better experience than Minnesota. I have dinner with the residents tomorrow night, the casual “get to know the program dinner”, where I get fed for free. NICE! Then on Wednesday, I fly to Wisconsin for two days of interviews. They are one of the four schools that have the combined program that I want–the five year Medicine/Neurology program–and theirs looks the best of them all–well organized curriculum, good patient mix, three hospitals, etc. I’ve been excited about their program for a long time, so I’m really praying that it goes well. Wish me luck, guys. I really could use it!

I saw Elizabethtown with Chris this week, and I gotta admit–I was horribly disappointed. I mean, I didn’t have grand expectations–I had read the reviews and realized that it wasn’t going to be more than mediocre. But I expected some attraction between the leads, and some plot and dialog! Instead it was 2 hours and 18 minutes of random music that didn’t really fit with anything. The last 1/2 was good, and if the rest had been like that, I don’t think I would have been so utterly disappointed. Orlando was cute, but I think that was it’s only redeeming quality.

My sister finally bought Firefly, so I’ve been slowly making my way through the series. Wow, what a fantastic show. It’s witty and brilliant and everything that everybody has been saying about it! 🙂 I LOVE IT! The more I watch though, the sadder I get at the thought of there only being 14 episodes! If there was ever was a show that needed to be resurrected, that would be it. !4 episodes, and we got ten years too many of 7th Heaven. It is an unfair world, my friends.

BTW, I got my fanfiction generator fixed (I keep forgetting how wonderful my web host is. I sent them my code and within 5 minutes they had fixed the problem – apparently I had some “windows only” code. If I had done that when I started having problems!). So, for the LOST fans, try it out here and for the Gilmore Girls fans, I made a special one just for you right here. I think that some of the minor characters might be a little too minor, but I’d like your opinion. Use it! Promote It! Be Inspired! Write a story that you never thought you would! Write Jess! Do It! You know you want to!

Literature Abuse: America’s Hidden Problem Self-Test For Literature Abusers

For Your Own Good, Take It Immediately!

I am a Superhero at procrastination. I should make myself a big cape and sew a P on my chest. But I’ll probably find other things to occupy my time.

Consider how I spent my day.

I woke up early to take my friend to the airport (she’s flying down to Uruguay to beg the government to let her fiance get a Visa, so they can be married). Looks like a productive start to the day…

And I continue to be super productive by following it up with a 35 minute workout at the gym–something I haven’t done in months (as the flab on my belly is so eloquently reminding me)! Go Me!

I have a list of errands to do. Finish Visa Applications. Work on paper that resident has been bugging me about since July. Study for big freaking boards that I take on the 20th (of December).

However, after I finish my shower, I decide that since I went to bed earlish last night, I’d check my email and LJ. Read eponine119‘s fantastic short stories and clicked on the link to the inspiration/challenges. There, I read a comment about how she wished that she knew a script to randomly generate names… Hey! I could do that! I used to know HTML and javascript, and since I’m really, really, really wanting to finish my webpage by some point, it would be fun to figure out how to do it. It’d only take an hour or so… I tried javascript–didn’t work, too many variables. So what did I decide do? Wipe my hands of the project and say, “well, guess that’s it” and move on? Oh no. I decided that since all of the help that I could find recommended using PHP, that that’s what I would do.

So, it’s now about 12 hours later. Granted, I haven’t spent the ENTIRE time trying to figure it out (I did cook dinner. And watched Lost. And an episode of Firefly.). And it still doesn’t work. There’s something wrong with the code that I can’t figure out and blah.

Now I have everything that I didn’t do today to look forward to tomorrow! Yay!

I am going to write a long entry about my interviews, visiting Iowa and Minnesota and meeting Becka (bjorks_defender)!, but I am road weary and world weary, and just slightly queasy to my stomach. I guess that’s what I get for only eating Starbursts and Goldfish today… Ugh.

Meeting Becka was wonderful, guys! *HUGS Becks* I totally recommend doing it. I think I was a little more subdued than normal, because the interviews did not go exactly well (they didn’t go horribly either–just more of a letdown), so it kinda put me in a little bit of a funk, but she was wonderful and we had some great times. But I shall describe everything in more detail, tomorrow. And hopefully I’ll get it illustrated with pictures!

shirerain and claidheamhmor, I do have some bad news. The program got back to me on how much the tickets to South Africa was going to cost… and it’s more than double what they were willing to cover. And I don’t know if I have the money to fund that much either. I’m trying to do some internet searches, see if I can find it for any cheaper or if there other options. But. I don’t know. It’s all very frustrating, after thinking that things were set in stone.

I think is the part of that I hate the most–the planning.

I was online all day (and boy is my shoulder telling me so!) looking up tickets to South Africa to see if it’s feasible to visit shirerain and claidheamhmor while I’m in Kenya (I finally emailed the secretary–after all of my looking around, she said that she’ll arrange it all with the travel agency, so I think I’m set…. South Africa here I come!), looking for car rentals, trying to figure out if it’d be best if I drove the car from Iowa to Minnesota and back or if I just drive to Minnesota and then fly out from there, checking email every 5 minutes in hopes that I would hear from Wisconsin (I haven’t–it’s really making me worried that I haven’t heard anything) so that I could finalize my plans, discovering that I had applied to the wrong school in Iowa for internal medicine, applying to the right school (I hope. Or did I apply to the wrong neurology department to begin with?), etc, etc, etc.

And then Chris reminds me that I need to buy tickets to his wedding in May, because it’s a tourist destination and things fill up quickly. *sigh*

So as it stands, I have a plan ticket to Iowa on the 1st. No return ticket. No rental car yet because I’m not quite sure where I’m returning much less when. Minnesota wrote, and unlike the other programs, they don’t pay for motels, so I now I have to call and make reservations – rather than just telling the place I was at that I wanted to extend.

*sigh* It’s just getting to be overwhelming. I want it all figured out NOW. *stomps foot like Veruka Salt*

So I told my parents tonight of my plans to extend out my trip to Kenya by a week. My dad got a little quiet when I told him that I had met my friend from the internet. 😀 (and here he was worried about my younger sister moving to DC for a year!) But I did explain that we had met because of my Tolkien group, which I think calmed him down a little, and he’ll get over it. Visiting Donna (donnazita) and having her come out here relieved them of the worry that it was internet lunatics I was talking with. Actually my parents biggest concern is the 3 extra days that I’ll be spending in London. By myself. Which if I think about too much will freak me out too. Any tips for surviving on your own, Ali?

Well, I have to get off now. My shoulder has quite honestly taken me hostage and if I don’t behave, it’ll figure out a way to ruin everything for me.

It didn’t take me very long to completely convert back to my night owl routine. 🙂

So I have news.

I’m going to Kenya for a month in January!

I applied for this international rotation months ago, and didn’t it. There were 4 students picked, all of whom had had fantastic international experiences, and I was rather crushed when I didn’t get selected. I’ve been considering doing another international rotation, but that would have cost much much more money, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about going all by my lonesome to some random, 3rd world country.

Well, a couple of days ago, I got a call from the secretary organizing everything, stating that someone dropped out and there was a spot available and did I want it.

Suffice to say, I jumped on it.

I’m a little freaked out by the idea. I’ve been taking an international health class for the last eight (er, I only made it to six) weeks, where we’ve done nothing but talk about the nasty parasites, worms, fungi, viruses, etc. that you can contract at these foreign places. Almost made me swear off the idea entirely. *shudders* But I’m going to be brave and get all of my shots and bring lots of Cipro and just do it!

Ellie–I don’t know if you’ll be on at all today, but how would you feel about flying up to Kenya and maybe doing a safari type of thing for a few days? I’d be done with my stuff around the 11th of February and since we’d be on the same continent, it would be a fantastic time to meet. I have no idea how much it would cost or anything. I’m supposed to let the secretary know my plans by tomorrow night (she told me this afternoon. Sheesh), so that they can arrange tickets and everything. Will you be around to chat today? 2ish my time?

I start my interviews next week. I have been feeling nervous about them–more so about the dinner with the residents the next before, where I have to make charming, small talk with people I’ve never met before–until Chris’s comment today of “Everybody loves you, you’ll charm everybody.” Sometimes I forget why I keep him around–and then he reminds me. Why he has so much faith in me, I have no idea. Of course, this feeling of calm will probably only last until this weekend, but I’m enjoying it while I can. I have to go shopping for a suit tomorrow/Friday. Have completely outgrown (and not in the good way) the one I bought for medical school. Hopefully, this time, I’ll manage to remove all of the tags before the interview.

And I think that’s the quick and dirty update.

I just checked my phone for the first time today.

The University of Minnesota wants to interview me. On Oct. 21.

I was told it would take 3 weeks to process my application. I haven’t even sent in my Internal Med one because I was counting on having more time.

I’m freaking out. I’m not ready. That’s um, next week, people. Next freaking week.

So I finally got to see Serenity today.

Having never watched an episode of Firefly, the little bit that I knew about the movie/show came from my lovely flist. LOL! I toyed with the idea of renting the videos this past week, but I’ve been so busy, and so maybe it’ll turn into another X-Files thing where I’ve gotten completely devoted to a show after watching the movie on which it was based.

My short review: Loved it. There were some parts that were the tiniest bit confusing, but overall I really enjoyed it. Joss has the amazing ability to even make violence look pretty. It really was my type of movie–the sci-fi like adventures, the “Han Solo” type captain and relationship with his ship (Georgie so should have hired Joss to write his screenplay) and beyond funny. I do feel the need to see it again, but it’ll probably have to wait until the dollar theaters, because have you seen the number of good movies coming out?? I was compiling a list of movies that I want to see and I think I’m in double digits. Double digits. And that’s just until Christmas!

I’m going to be so poor. 🙂

My little baby application has stretched her wings and flown away to Oakland California. Soon, she will be visiting programs in Iowa, Minnesota, Indiana, Arizona, California, New York, Massachusetts, Wisconsin, Arizona, and New Hampshire before she returns home to roost in Utah. And as any mother, I am fearful and nervous as she makes this solo adventure–mostly that she will reflect well of me. 🙂 I do hope that she tells all the good stories about me.

Special big thanks to claidheamhmor, I couldn’t have done it without your help!

I still have more applications to go–this was just the neurology aspect, I still have internal medicine to do–but the next part is computerized (and fast–the processing time of the neuro app is three weeks. The IM one? About 12 hours) and completely transferable from everything that I’ve already done. So I’ll get it done this weekend and it’ll all be good.

Oh and I have to email all of these programs to let them know that I’m crazy and want to do two programs. Okay, still going to be busy. But less. And less is good.

Well, my personal statement is finished. Mostly. I’m stuck (of course) on the last unifying sentence. I’ve emailed those who volunteered before to read/edit it, but if anybody out there in friendland has some time tonight/early tomorrow and would be willing to look over it/correct grammar mistakes/give ideas on how to conclude without sounding like I’m repeating myself, please comment with your email address and I’ll send it on. Believe me, I’ll love you forever. If you need my first born as compensation–consider it yours.

Now all I have to do is transfer my CV to the application, get my photo taken, and track down the letter of application that the Student Affairs office lost (yes, you read that right–they lost ANOTHER letter. I’m so pissed I’m seeing red. Every day, I find more of the incompetence to amaze me), and bug letter writer #3 to finish his by midafternoon and I’ll be set. I think.

The best part? This is only one of the two applications that I have to do. I really wish I hadn’t gotten so far behind, but there wasn’t much that I could do (then or now). *sigh* Maybe by this weekend, I’ll have my life again.

I missed all but the last fifteen minutes of Everwood. Including the welcome home scene and kiss. 🙁 🙁 🙁

My patient tried very hard to die on me today, and completely freaked me out. And my resident who overlooks me had the day off. So it was just me, trying to figure out what in the world I’d even do. Luckily, I pounced on one of the other residents and he shouted out orders and everything turned out okay (I think), but it really started my day out on a stressful note and didn’t change all day.

I have stories to share, gripes to make, but I am so freaking exhausted that I’m calling it an early night and hitting the sack.

🙂 Night all.

Still hating the applications. Only more.

I’ve been really hoping that I’d be able to mail them off on Thursday, with overnight delivery, so that they’d be received by Friday. Well. I’ve only got one letter (that I know of because the Student Affairs office is run by a bunch of moronic idiots (and that’s not redundant, because believe me, they deserve every adjective of the sort I can provide) and the person who’s SOLE job for the entire year is to open up the little envelopes and put them in files and email us when we’ve received a letter … is gone on vacation. That’s right. And apparently, there’s not a single other person in the 20 people employed who can do it either. So they just pile up, and up. Did I tell you that they lost my letter last week? Yeah. So feeling the love)…. Anyway, I’m waiting for the other two. I apparently have to get a new picture to send in. And the essay is still only 300 words, when it should be closer to 900 by this time. I’ve got ideas, and I really like the first 300 words, but… I work best under stress, right?

*sigh*

I started a new rotation today, my “sub-intership” in internal medicine where I basically function as an intern, only my resident has to cosign everything I do. It’s already kicking my butt– I am so over my head. In three months, I’ve forgotten everything–and I’m expected to know a lot more by this point too. It took me six hours (yes, you read that right) to see one patient, write up his history and physical (H&P), discuss it with the chief resident (whom I stunned with my absolutely lac of EKG reading skills), write up the admit orders, cross out and add to my assessment/plan, discuss with the attending physician, make more orders, find resident so he can sign orders, dictate H&P, remember that I had forgotten most important order of all, add on order, talk to patient again about his home medication, add on that order, find resident again to sign orders, and finally, sign out patient to the cross-covering intern. Six hours. So much for my early afternoon that I had counted on.

My resident does happen to be one of my absolute favorite residents in the entire world–seriously, I nominated him for teaching awards because he was fantastic and half the reason that I’m thinking crazy thoughts about doing two residencies. I am crazy. Out of my freaking mind. I really hope that the end of these four weeks doesn’t change his opinion about me.

On a funny note… claidheamhmor, I had a dream about you. Or actually you and your wife, whom the only picture I’ve seen is her little user picture that she uses when she responds to you. I dreamed that you and your family were coming to the United States to move here, but your wife was coming early to scoop out the places that you wanted to visit. So I took her to see the Grand Canyon and a little cabin on the side of the cliffs that she decided that she wanted to live in. But it was flood season and she was worried that your picture was going to get wet. So the rest of the dream, I spent coming up with ideas to keep that pic dry and move it from one location to another–going all over the country, in fact. Weird, yes, I know. I don’t think that Freud would even know what to make of my dreams. I think this is the first time that I’ve dreamt of my lj friends!

Arrr, maties, tis ye ol’ sea wench, hear to remind ye, that this day dar be “Talk Like a Pirate Day”, so ye scum bett’r be a’growlin’. Best ya smartly visit this here site and learn’d you Piratey lessons or risk bein’ a lubber.

🙂

Just an excuse to post really, but I’m so glad that I actually caught it this year!

Things are going better. With Chris’s help of connecting me to the right secretary (never underestimate the power of an excellent secretary) and much groveling, begging forgiveness and promising to not let my responsibilities slip again, I managed to salvage (I think) my letter of recommendation. I have a bad feeling that it won’t be so full of praise and gushings as it would have been a week ago, but I’m settling for what I can get. Hopefully, it’ll be enough.

I had an excellent weekend. Friday night was the annual All-School Picnic. Hard to believe that I’ve now attended my last picnic– I felt old there, the old model about to be phased out. I didn’t have any interest in meeting the first years, when in years past, I had a great time meeting new people. I did have an unexpected encounter with a particular crush, which, as always, occurred when I was not prepared for even the possibility, and therefore left me feeling awkward, unsocial, unattractive, and blah. And yes, since I am now in full denial mode and have imagined it away, we’re keeping it vague. But you can probably all figure out who anyway (and the picture below should have left no doubt!) Bah.

I spent much of the rest of the weekend with Chris. After not seeing him for more than about an hour for weeks, it was like old times and I just had a great time. I’ve really missed my friend. His life is more and more drifting away from mine–I found out that he’s moving in with his fiancee and future in-laws in a week, something that he neglected to tell me–and in just a few short months, we’re going to be thousands of miles apart. So we hung out with friends Friday night after the picnic (and managed to avoid talking about medicine for two and a half hours! A record!) and went shopping together at the outdoor store garage sale (I bought a tent! Whee!) and went to two movies on Saturday, Just Like Heaven (very cute. Sappy of course, and the medical parts of it made me groan, but I was a sucker for it) and An Unfinished Life (which would have been greatly improved by the absence of JLo. And Ellie shirerain: Your boy was in it! Of course he played the wife-beater villain and had a sneer on his face much of the time, but I can see a little why you like him. 🙂 Damian looks a little like Seth Green. Hopefully this will mean that there will be more pics around of him for you!). It was such a blast and just what I needed to recharge my batteries a little.

It’s my last week on Peds Neuro. I’ve really enjoyed working with the kids, but it has confirmed my decision that Peds is not for me. I love working with the kids (except when they’re 3 and stubborn and won’t touch your finger when you ask them too!), but the parents can be quite overwhelming (it’s funny how different people can get when they’re seeking medical help for their kids rather than themselves), and I’ve had some heartbreaking cases with some pretty sick kids. So it’s adults for me.

And lastly, your opinion… picture quiz!

I love my flist. I really really do.

I know you guys are wanting the whole scoop on what’s happened, but I’m not able to find the words to describe the whole depth of the problem. Let’s just say that messing up chances for a letter of recommendation because of her stupidity, finding out that the other letter is somewhere in limbo and she’s got only a few days to find it (and nobody’s responding to emails), and realizing that she didn’t have a back up plan for anything, put Julia in a depressive funk that she hasn’t seen since the summer of 2001.

Right now, I’m scrambling to pick up pieces, eating humble pie and literally begging people to help me fix this. It’s not fun, and I’ve been in tears for the past two nights, knowing that I brought this on myself. One mistake brought the whole pile down…

On a positive note, I ran into my “arch nemesis” today, and we had our only friendly conversation in the last two years, since the infamous cafeteria blowup. It reminded me that at one time we were friends…. It was nice, and it gave me a niggle of hope.

And side note: Tay (fileg), have you been having problems responding to a journal? I’ve had difficulty once I click on, say an LJ-cut, and read the entry itself–it’s like my browser doesn’t recognize the HTML. No problems if I click to respond on my friends page view. Similar problems with you?

I’ve just screwed up my entire life plans.

Go me!

I give up, I just give up.