It’s been one of those days/weeks. I got a parking ticket today. I was late for rounds this morning–rounds that I had to present at, and decided to risk parking in visitor parking, and got caught. *sigh* My wallet was already looking very pitiful….

It’s also been one of those weeks where I’ve been doing a lot of thinking–not a good combination with little sleep. But it’s something that I need to get down on paper, so *gestures*. Three things happened this weekend–and for being on call on Saturday and Sunday, and not one of them being work related, that’s pretty impressive–three things that started this rumination. I guess to have a better understanding, a little back history is needed.

The Plethora, Chris, and The Boy

Conversation with Chris walking home (yes, he made sick me walk to dinner, said it would clear out my lungs… and he accuses me of believing old wives tales!) from dinner tonight:

After seeing the husband of a classmate–“I didn’t know that many people knew about my engagement.”
“I have people coming up to me all the time, going ‘Did you know that your friend Chris is engaged’ and it’s all I can do to say, ‘yes, well, I really hope that I wasn’t finding out from you.'”
“You mean, you’re not acting upset that’s it’s not you, like all the stupid rumors?”
“Oo, I should do that next time! ‘What??? He didn’t propose to me!!'”
*With a big grin* “That’s a good one. I think Candice might finally hate me a little less now–I actually had a decent conversation with her.”
“I know. I saw her and we talked for a few minutes too–”
“–About rotations?”
“Yep. And then I saw her a day later in the halls and not even a smile.”
“It’s absolutely crazy. I mean, we were friends for a year and then all of a sudden, she can’t stand me.*continues rant and forgets that Julia was there for the whole saga and remembers it quite well*”
“I know. But hey, *slugs shoulder* you got a better deal with me, anyway.”
“Yeah, yeah, I did.”

It’s been so long since we had an actually conversation outside of how we studied for a particular rotation or how our residents were treating us. It’s almost … surprising to discover that he really does consider me his friend. We had such a great time tonight, despite my frequent cough and the two Kenyan students who are finally going home tomorrow and the looming tests of this Friday…

…when they come around with flu shots, remind me:

–that there is always a flu shot shortage, but because I work in a hospital, I’m one of those “high risk” people and shouldn’t feel guilty for taking it away from an elderly feeble woman–most likely, she’ll manage to get her shot too.

–that because I work in hospitals, the likelihood of being exposed is much higher–even if it is from your lowlife classmate *grumbles at fellow student who should not have come to work!*

–that I don’t want to be a vector and pass on the flu to the poor, elderly, feeble woman, whose shot I stole.

–that even though my arm goes numb and weak and hurts like nothing else after the shot, that only lasts a day, and this flu has last five and I’m not getting much better.

–that trying to study for the hardest test of the year is difficult enough without adding in fevers and head congestion.

–that I make one of the lousiest patients around and really, really, really hate being sick.

*crawls back into bed*

Am miserably sick. Fever. Muscle aches. Shaking chills. Sweating. Sore throat. Ear aches…

At least I know why I’ve been getting headaches all week.

And the worst is? I have to be to work early tomorrow–and medical students really don’t get sick days.

*crawls into bed*

Taken from donnazita. It’s all her fault!

If you could say something to ten guys in your past, what would you say?

The guys in Julia’s life

Yes, if I was a lemming, I’d jump off the cliff too–we’d have such a great time on the fall down!

Comment and I’ll tell you something I adore about you.
Afterwards, copy and paste this into your own journal.

Anybody, even if you feel like we don’t know much about each other yet… There are reasons that you’re on my flist.

ETA: Ran out of time tonight. Will continue tomorrow, so if I haven’t gotten to you, be patient!

Well, since I keep getting asked to do this!

Book Meme!

Heart, don’t fail me now. Courage, don’t desert me.

*picks up phone*

ETA: Negative, Ghostrider, that pattern’s full.

He has to work.

Yet another movie that is impossible to find caps from!

Samples and links

Maybe it was the National Geographic on the coffee table about the solar system. Or pretty pictures like this from the Hubble spacecraft that make my mouth gape in wonder. Or the fact that I’ve rediscovered my love for ST:Voyager and it’s making me nostalgic (how much nostalgia can one of 26 really have before it become pathological?) and I’m exposing that geeky side…

But I really really want a telescope. Not a big fancy one (yet), but one that if I squinted, I could pretend that I was seeing the rings around Saturn.

I don’t suppose any of my illustrious friends out there know anything about telescopes? *wistful* Yeah, it’s a long shot.

****

Started a new rotation today. Psychiatry. I’m still a little too disturbed to start sharing the funny stories. When my attending starting telling me about our patients–the one that they had to so heavily sedate because he attacks everybody, or the one who wouldn’t eat anything because she was convinced that we were feeding her our children, or the one, in for a suicidal attempt and talks about how she watched her mother raped and murdered in front of her eyes and then was raped by her uncle at 6… Not to mention those with the sexual disinhibitions. And on and on. Within minutes, I was wide-eyed and twelve again, the small-town girl caught in big-city traffic.

It might be a long six weeks.

****

On a good note–I did *finally* mange to meet up with the Neurology guy who I’ve wanted to be my advisor! We got a schedule for fourth year cobbled together (I may not have ruined my chances for residency after all!) and right after, I ran into the other doctor that I’m hoping to get a letter of recommendation from (yes, I ended the sentence with a preposition–whatcha going to do about it?!). After weeks of not getting ahold of anybody, everything is starting to come together. Whee!

P.S. A big big welcome and hug to my latest friend donnazita who ironically, is my oldest e-friend. We met 6 (no way!) years ago because of a a just-becoming known actor, Ewan McGregor, and our love for him was the building bridge to our friendship.

Well, instead of studying and writing the paper that was due on Friday, I made icons. 😉

Voyager – P/T, Belanna, Seven

I’m listening to every sappy song in my music collection. Including “I Know You by Heart” by Eva Cassidy and “The Merry Widow Waltz,” from my favoritest opera.

Why? Well, lean in closer and I’ll tell you a secret.

Chris just got back from Hong Kong and Japan. I’ve missed him so much–our schedules have been different for so long that I only see him once a week, if that, but not even being able to pick up the phone and call him when I was having an extremely bad day (and with my intern problems and the latest strings of disappointments, well, bad only begins to describe it), yeah that was tough.

He had a wonderful time–ate all kinds of exotic foods, saw the sights, and got engaged in front of a Buddhist temple outside of Hiroshima!

That’s right! My best friend proposed to his girlfriend of two years! No ring, but he did it because it just felt right. I’m unbelievably, fantabulously giddy about this. This is the guy, who two years ago, when he was just starting to date her (and just when we were starting to get to know each other) argued with me for a hour about how marriage was a ridiculous method that churches used to mess in the business of government, and that he couldn’t see himself wanting to be with the same person for 40 or 50 years. I’m so glad to see him change.

I had no idea he was planning on doing it (I don’t think that he knew it either!). I mean, I knew better than anybody how much he cared for her. The rest of my med school class might have thought he was dating me, but I was the one who saw how positively mushy he was with her. And he’s talked about waiting to do couples match for residency with her.. but you don’t have to be married for that.

But, now, I get to wheedle and beg to be the best man! How cool is that?

*giggle*

(BTW, this is exactly how he told me. I heard all about the different types of noodles he ate and the different japanese phrases he learned, before he slipped it in. I thought he was teasing me!)

Literati Fiction Exchange

To Include:
– some type of problem in Rory/Jess’s relationship either being resolved or being explored b/c it can’t be resolved.
– dialogue about some random detail of the setting they’re in…i.e. “that clock on the wall” “this carpeting” “how the sun reflects off the wall”…anything.
– a book reference that isn’t often mentioned.
Not to Include:
– Jess crying (almost is fine if it happens to work that way *shrug*)…(I’m sorry, it’s just…a thing…I have…about writing Jess. Now, at least, lol. =$)
Rating: anything is fine *nods* …not NC-17? =P

A/N: Special thanks to Becka for the application of the whip to make sure I finished this. She’s the bestest! Please review!

Sticks and Stones

For the past six, seven, eight months, I’ve had a little *something* for a guy at my church. I would love to think that at 26, I’m old enough to be beyond crushes, but apparently not. This has had all of those classic symptoms: hyperawareness of every person he’s talking to (especially anyone who’s of the female persuasion), non-stop blabbering with any conversation, waking up just a little bit earlier to make sure I put on contacts and mascara (yes, there is a girl buried deep inside!).

Yeah. I’m smitten. With yet another Matt. *shakes head*

Tonight, while working on my presentation for tomorrow and watching The Amazing Race, I flipped channels and watched an old, favorite episode of M*A*S*H, where Hawkeye and Trapper pull yet another prank on Frank. It’s an early episode, I think from the first season, and one that I’ve probably seen a dozen times.

And it hit me, just before they switched to commercials. When he smiles, Matt looks exactly like a (much much!) younger version of Alan Alda. Spitting image, down to the cocky brow raise.

Disturbing. I think I’ve even squished me out.

Sorry everybody else,

Ali, I’ve been unable to load http://www.stars-hollow.org for over a week now. At first I thought the site was down, but everybody else seems to have no problems. I get a error message, regardless of what browser I’m using, that the server does not exist. Did you change any settings last week? Anything that I am blatantly overlooking?

I’m going to call my internet people tomorrow, but could I get the IP address so I can try pinging it and see if that works? Any other suggestions?

Thanks!

TO everybody else: The virtual tea and chocolate did wonders. Feel much better!

Sick. Still sick.

It’s migrated from my throat to my ears and head now.

And it’s really really hard talking to patients and their families when you have no voice.

Pity me? Send me lemon tea and chocolate to make me feel better?

And Ellie, I just heard. I didn’t get the rotation in Kenya, so I won’t be within a thousand miles of you next January. Chris didn’t get it either, so we’re thinking about arranging something together, so hopefully, we can still somehow meet. (I still want a picture).

Becks, you are having way too much fun with match.com. Save me some of the action! Fill me in with your favorites, k? Hopefully, I’ll be back to my chipper self soon.

*crawls back into bed*

They do have chipper as a mood!

Please don’t ask me why I’m chipper. I’m sure if you asked me to analyze it, I would find out that I really am not so. My ankle hurts. My non-existant ab muscles hurt. I spent all afternoon hanging around a tiny office with 5 other doctors, so I could exam 2 patients. (So. Painfully. Boring.)

Yep, started a new rotation, pediatrics, which I have been excited for, but stuck in clinic has kinda sapped me of the glee. I was looking forward to doing well baby checks and looking into kid’s stuffy noses, but I can’t stand just sitting around in a too-small room and changing attendings every half day! Thankfully, this does not count towards evaluations. And it should get better. I hope it gets better.

Only three more rotations and I’ll be done with third year!

Only three more rotations and I’m done with third year. When you really think about it, it’s scary. I went to a med school party this weekend, where I mingled with so many of my classmates that I haven’t seem in months. And it hit me. In just a year and a bit, we’ll be separating and spreading across the country… These close friendships and associations will end. I can’t stop it, and even though it’s so far in the future, that black dread is taking over residence in my stomach.

Hey, come back here chipper feeling!

No, things are good. Really. I just won’t let myself think how miserable my life is going to be when Chris and I are on opposite coasts. 🙁

I am such a nerd. No, really, it’s true. How did I spend my evening? My wonderful evening free of responsibility? Not to mention Valentine’s Day?? Reading articles from the latest Grand Rounds. I discovered this a couple of weeks ago, and I have to admit, when I read these blogs, written by actual doctors talking about real patient encounters, or just the science behind our bodies (they’ve figured out the genetics of why people have different sleep habits??? how cool is that!) I get so excited. Medicine is definitely my calling. Marissa, you should check some of it out–it’s written for the layman, and might give you an idea of the field.

Is tomorrow a new episode of GG? I haven’t seen the previous two yet (oops), but I still plan to and would like to tape it if it is.

And speaking of GG, can I do a bit of shameless plugging? Of course, ff.net messed up half of my formating (they’re taking out commas before quotation marks now!) and I’m not in the mood to go back and change it by hand, so believe me, it really doesn’t have nearly the number of errors in RL.

I’ve had to go through and make all most of my journal friends only. I had been planning on it, but I got friended by a rather, um, unsuitable person. And I really don’t need stalkers. 😉 Unless, of course, you guys want to stalk me, and if that’s the excuse it takes you to come out and visit me, then by all means, I give you my blessing.
.

Geez, after this randomness, you’re going to be begging me not to keep my promises!

*hugs* to flist.